I do not think there was anything funny about ***September 11th ** * but comedians have to have jokes about all news events, I don’t even think this tragic event was sacred. A good comedian could probably joke about anything and be funny but 9/11? Probably not.
Have you heard any? What did you think?
Did it offend you, was it just not funny or was it somehow not offensive but funny?
Only one I can think is:
Who are the fastest readers on Earth?
New Yorkers. They can go though 110 stories in 10 seconds.
I wasn’t offended, though I don’t recall laughing when I heard it.
I haven’t heard any.
I honestly don’t think anyone would find anything funny about what happened on September 11th. And anyone cracking a joke about it, would probably find themselves an outcast pretty quick in most places in the USA.
But that is just my opinion.
I’ve not heard anyabout 9/11 itself, but lots of them about the bastards responsible for it. This one is the latest:
After his death, Osama bin Laden went to heaven.
There he was greeted by George Washington, who proceeded to slap him across the face and yell at him, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!”
Patrick Henry approached and punched Osama in the nose and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed.”
James Madison entered, kicked Osama in the groin and said,“This is why allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”
Thomas Jefferson came in and proceeded to beat Osama many times with a long cane and said, “It was evil men like you that provided me the inspiration to pen the Declaration of Independence!”.
These beatings and thrashings continued as John Rudolph, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the Muslim terrorist leader.
As Osama lay bleeding and writhing in unbearable pain an Angel appeared.
Bin Laden wept in pain and said to the Angel, “This is not what you promised me.”
The Angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in heaven. What did you think I said?”
There were a few that I heard a couple of weeks after 9/11. As usual with ‘topical’ jokes, they were the usual formulae recycled with different names or words inserted, weren’t very funny, and I certainly can’t remember them now.
A few jokes did the rounds here after 11 September. They raised a chuckle or two, but I think most people thought them in pretty bad taste.
Here’s 8 pages of what we tried to guess the Onion would do. Most of them turned out to be funnier than what they came up with.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=87707&page=1&pp=50
Here is a joke/urban legend story I heard about a month after September 11. I believe it was reported in some news articles as a true story, although Snopes lists it as untrue.
A man woke up on September the 11th in 2001 and started driving to his job at the World Trade Centers. It was about 6:30 AM and the man was a little early for work. He was a happily married man but unbeknownst to his wife he had a mistress and he thought it would be cool to visit her that day. He called in and told his boss he was having car trouble and would be late.
He went to his mistress’s house and turned off his cell phone. He and his mistress also turned off the TV and radio. Then they began a wild session of lovemaking.
Around 11:30, after a few hours of getting it on, the man decided he’d better go in to work. He got up, put on his clothes, and turned on his cell phone. Immediately it rang and he answered it.
It was his wife calling. “Oh, thank God, thank God that you’re OK,” she sobbed. “I’m so glad you’re safe. I’ve been so worried–where are you?” she wailed.
The man was used to lying to his wife when he was fooling around, so he calmly said, “Why honey, what are you so worried about? I’m at my office.”
Six months or so after the attack there was this one on the HBO show Six Feet Under.
I haven’t had sex since September 10th…September 10th, 1998.
Haj
I recall hearing one shortly after the attacks.
Both of David Cross’ comedy CDs, Shut Up, You Fucking Baby! and It’s Not Funny, contain material about 9/11.
KRC, I am almost 100% positive that I read that story in 110 Stories an anthology about 9/11. I don’t know if that’s where it originated though. I think the story was called Pitching September 11 or something like that. It had different movie and story ideas written like they were a pitch to a producer. I also heard that there is a movie (play?) with a similar plot, but I haven’t seen it myself.
I heard a similar one several months later (probably more as a result of the Iraq war than of September 11.)
A math teacher was arrested while trying to board an airplane. The authorities found a compass, a ruler, and a protractor in his luggage.
He was charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Then there was one about a New Yorker who was going home from work on the subway a short time after September 11 and noticed an arabic looking man get off and leave a briefcase behind him.
The man was only about a stop away from where he usually got off the train so he grabbed the briefcase and ran after the Arab. “Hey, mister, you left this behind,” he yelled.
“Oh, thank you, thank you,” said the Arab. “You don’t know how much trouble I would have been in if I had lost this. It is very important to me. Let me reward you.” And he grabbed a huge wad of 100 dollar bills from inside the suitcase and handed them to the New Yorker.
The New Yorker was suddenly very nervous. Something didn’t seem right about this. “N-no, th-that’s okay,” he stammered. “I like doing favors for people; you don’t need to pay me.”
“Oh, but I must reward you somehow,” said the Arab. “Hey, you know that new steak house down on 52nd Street? Don’t ever eat there.”
“Wh-wh-why?” stammered the New Yorker. " Is–is there going to be an attack?"
“No,” said the Arab. “I ate there last night and the food is terrible.”
I remember hearing a stupid joke repeated over and over by some boneheads over here portugal.
Also to my attention came a list of songs that were playing on the radio during the incident. I remember a couple:
Song played while people were jumping off windows: R Kelly’s I believe I can fly
Song played after the first plane crashed: Britney’s Hit me baby one more time
#@$@//! I was responding to Jackelope’s thread about the woman knitting Afghans. D@mn you people who post faster than I do! Oh well…
The following Hallowe’en (October 2002) I suggested a Hallowe’en costume: wear black, strap two flashlights to your ankles, and go as the World Trade Center.
I didn’t tell it to many people because know only a few who would be able to laugh at it. (I also suggested people drive around an unmarked white van and go as the DC snipers. This was before they were caught, and not in a white van.)
Damn. I should know better than to read stuff I posted years ago. I had a vague memory of posting something extremely hilarious to that thread. I just reread it. My vague memory was wrong.
I still remember most of the jokes from the Challenger shuttle explosion, does that count? :smack:
I heard this a few years ago. I don’t remember where.
On Sept. 11, 2001. at 7:30 the leader of Iran called Bush, “Yes, President Bush. I just wanted to let you know that I find these attacks deplorable. You have Iran’s utmost cooperation and condolense. Rest assured that…wait…what time is it over there? Sonovabitch. [Hangs up]”
As far as formula jokes go, we have:
Why didn’t Superman stop the planes from crashing into the WTC?
Because he’s in a wheelchair!