Are there "swingers" on the Dope?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I don’t know that this question has been asked…but, since the thread on a woman enjoying “DP” brought it to mind…
Are there swingers, or folks in the “lifestyle” on the Dope? I’m sure there are - but if there are, speak up!
Are you still in it?
When/how did you get in?

For myself, I quit being active in it a few years back, but was very active for 5 years or so. It started innocently enough with a little experimentation with some friends, and just kinda grew out from that.

So…don’t be shy! Speak up, if you’re here!

2

I am not one but there are indeed some and there have been threads about it.

3

Ooh! Tell more!

I couldn’t do it in real life–I have way too many emotional insecurities–but as fantasy fodder, whoo… oh, yes.

4

I recall one study from The eJournal of Human Sexuality about 6 or 7 years ago that reported over a third of people in the US had engaged in some sort of ‘swinger’ behavior in their lifetimes.

Now some would claim the bar was set rather low, as the definition of such activities included ‘same room sex’ with another couple or another person watching, along with ‘softswap’ where there were sexual interactions that stopped short of intercourse with the non-partner.

So, I expect many dopers have interesting tales to tell.

Interestingly, clusters of these behavior were more often reported in younger (late teens to early 20’s) and older (late 40’s to early 60’s) than in the late 20’s to early 40’s age range.

My hypothesis: Having kids kept folks in check. :wink:

5

Boy, ain’t that the truth.

6

My first MFM experience was after a night entertaining a young woman by teaching her the game of darts while enjoying drinks. Neither one of us got drunk or out of control. I thought that I was making progress with her and asked if she wanted to come back to my place when she said, “I’ll be right back.”

She returned with a guy and introduced him as her husband. While I was harrumphing and shuffling my feet trying to find a comfortable way to exit, she took hold of my arm and said “Let’s have one more drink – my husband wants to go home and make sure we’re ready to have guests. You can drive us home.”

Without going into details, it was a very fun evening. As it turned out, they were into that scene and her goal of the night was to pick up somebody to have fun with (which totally discounts my amorous intentions and abilities). We had a very fun few weeks after that. We only quit this behavior because I had received military orders. No harm, no foul, no jealousy, no bad feelings by anybody.

Later, I discovered a network of people who would often trade partners. Sure, there were rules, but as long as you were sexually clean, disease free and not horribly offensive all were accepted. That was a lot of fun for a few months. I usually could manage a full dance card.

Totally unrelated to that point, later I met a woman who was very into that kind of scene. She was more than willing to introduce me to her friends, and due to my recent participation in that scene, I was able to reciprocate. We had a lot of fun for about 2 years.

My intent of this post is not to boast, but rather to voice an opinion. Many feel that monogamy is the only option out there, but I beg to differ. I know that many males are adverse to MFM options (and would rather prefer FMF, but this isn’t Penthouse Forum), because sometimes the sensitive bits to make contact, but if you can get over that, then all is good. Sometimes you are lucky and find women who are not afraid to explore / share in the FMF experience. I would have to say most of the women I knew who enjoyed the MFM / DP experience really enjoyed a healthy sex life. I think the best thing that is if nobody assumes emotional relationships that are not there or are imagined, and everybody understands their roles in the activities, then there should be no misunderstanding.

To answer the OP in a way, all of this behavior was conducted while single, no kids, no family or relatives within driving distance to interrupt. I would agree that while some people enjoy this lifestyle, kids usually do put a damper on the activities. (One bad story about “who’s that man in momma’s bed?” but not horrible.)

at least I think there were no horrible emotional scars…

7

This is why I stopped “swinging” in college. It’s impossible to be 100% certain somebody is disease free. Too many people assume “No symptoms, must be clean!” Unfortunately, especially for men, most STDs are asymptomatic. And, even worse, just because somebody is carrying something doesn’t mean they will necessarily be honest about it.

Mr. Right can carry me through the lonely nights just fine.

8

I started swinging when I was pretty young. The best place to meet other swingers was the local park down the road, of course, that’s where all the equipment was. Some of the other richer kids had their own equipment in their back yard, and we’d be invited over to swing with them, on occasion. All in all it was a pretty satisfying experience, but I’ve long since stopped doing it. Don’t know why really, just got bored with it I suppose.

9

I was in relationship with a man a few years ago where we talked about doing something like “swinging” but quickly found out that the people who were out there looking for others were not people we would be willing to have sex with. That ended our search fairly quickly.

10

Grew too large for the equipment, I imagine.

11

That could be it :stuck_out_tongue:

I want to hear other people’s swinging experiences.

This one time, I was with a few other swingers and we all got really, really high, … and then we jumped off. :smiley:

12

Not sure if your definition of “swinging” is the same as mine. Having anonymous sex with a few dozen other guys in an empty 18-wheeler, night after night . . . is that considered “swinging”?

Not in the last 21 years, though.

13

I wanted to go over the top, but just couldn’t get there :wink:

Si

14

My ex-wife and I weren’t swingers but we did have an open marriage for most of our relationship. The only thing that really kept us from being swingers was the whole “scene” thing didn’t appeal to us. Also, the term, “swinger,” just evokes lots of images of polyester, Lowenbrau, lava lamps and earth tone upholstery.

She’d find another partner somewhere; so would I. No parties, clubs or sets. It worked fine for us for the better part of a decade and had no impact on our ultimate reasons for splitting up.

15

I think it only counts as “swinging” if you’re married.

16

My husband and I have swung from time to time. We tend to go through phases of actively looking for partners followed by phases of just “if the opportunity presents itself”. We’ve done MFM, FMF, swapping, and “big 'ole pile of naked bodies”. :slight_smile: The “pile” only works if you’re either doing soft swap (no actual intercourse), or you have A LOT of condoms, so the guys can get a fresh one every time they switch to a new partner.