I’m sure there’s a debate in here somewhere.
I was just wondering what the over all Christian view is on this topic.
FWIW, I was taught that a lie told to save someone’s feelings from being hurt does not count as a lie.
Thus…
…gets a free pass.
Tough call - to my mind, lies like this are not a sin per se, but (particularly when they become habitual) can be indicative of attitudes that are sinful. Similar to swearing/foul language - not in and of itself wrong but indicative of thoughts/attitudes/feelings that are not where they should be.
Grim
I might be controversial and suggest that all lies, even “white” ones are wrong.
For some biblical backing, I suggest starting st Psalm 15. Here the psalmist is asking the question “Who can be wtih God?” The answer is basically someone who is honest and truthful, despite the cost to themselves.
For a start there is the question of what a “white” lie really is. Is intentionally letting someone believe a lie ever good? Even when you intend it for good it may backfire. So for instance if you tell someone that they sound like Jeff Buckley when they sing, even if they can’t hit a note on pitch, then what if they continue to sing loudly to the point where people make fun of them? Eventually people will find out the truth and then will jsut be hurt that you lied to them.
Of course telling the truth does’t mean that you are under obligation to tell people every truth you know. If someone has a really bad haircut you don’t have to tell them that. You could tell them how much you like their dress.
I think in general with “white” lies if it is something that they don’t need to know, then you don’t have to tell them about it, and therefore you don’t need to lie. If it is something that they need to know, then you should just tell them because they will find out anyway. Better that they find out from you in a loving way then find out from someone else in an unkind way.
Onesimus.
White lies aren’t good, but I won’t say they are absolutely 100% sinful either. In general, Christians are to be honest, trustworthy, & straightforward. BUT there are times when all-out deception can be the greater good, as in the classic example of lying to Nazis who are tracking down Jews (I am amazed & appalled at the arguments some C’tians will give against that!) The Commandment is not to lie AGAINST one’s neighbor, not necessarily against lying FOR one’s neighbor.
Basically, when considering deception, a great deal of self-examination as to motives & outcomes is necessary.
Except when truth-telling would result in actual unjustified harm to another. Then the Christian should lie boldly & cheerfully, including to those “blabbermouths for Jesus” who insist on telling such harmful truths.
There is certainly a debate, it’s called ethics and and it’s a lot more complicated than “X is a sin but Y is a virtue.”
Onesimus makes the assertation that all lies are wrong but his supporting cite talkes about being truthful even at a cost to themself. What if the cost of the truth is to someone else and the lie protects that person? Lies have been used to protect things more consequential than hurt feelings. Is it a sin if I lie to protect the identity of someone who may be deported an face torture or death in his home country?
Rather than framing a a broad thing as a narrow question ask “what is the right thing to do.”
“Lies make baby Jesus cry”
Todd Flanders
There’s no such thing as “sin.” A lie may or may not follow you to your grave, but that’s as far as it goes. White lies? If they protect someone’s feelings and they’re inconsequential, there’s no harm.
One of the problems I have with the more utilitarian view of lying is working out where the line between right and wrong lies are. How much has to be at risk before lying becomes OK, and who has to risk it. I don’t think there are any clear answers.
While I think that lying is wrong, I don’t have any such qualms about being intentionally unhelpful to people. So for instance I don’t see anything wrong with answering questions with things like “no comment” or such*. I also see nothing wrong with being willfully ignorant on some things that I should know, just so that I don’t have to lie.
I think that whatever you say should be truthful to the best of your knowledge. With that though it is fine to leave some things unsaid.
- There are issues with respecting proper authorities, but that is really beside this particular point.
I don’t believe in sin, but I do think some lies are ethical and some lies are not.
“Billy, your daddy isn’t around because he had to move to another state for his job” is better than “Billy, your daddy isn’t around because he didn’t want you to be born.”
Other than perjury in court, does Christianity forbid lying?
I think we agree on no easy answers but there is a big gulf between “utilitarian” lying which makes it sound like a matter of convenience and your earlier blanket statement that “…all lies, even “white” ones are wrong.” Emphasis mine.
I don’t think that saying “no comment” to get out of the dilemma of telling a lie or stating a truth that will have consequences is ethical. “Peter, do you know this man?” “No comment, I’ve never even seen him before.” I’m sure a lot of people are glad that Oskar Schindler told more than a few lies to the Germans. I do not presume to know how Schindler will be judged but I don’t believe it will be “you told the Germans those people were essential war workers, you lied, Bzzzzt! Hell for you.” Yes, extreme examples but they illustrate that right vs wrong may not be absolutes. IMHO the guiding principle for a Christian should be what Christ taught as the second most important commandment.
First, the legalistic view:
The Ten Commandments include “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” Dissect that. What’s forbidden is the making of a false statement “against” someone else. I.e., a lie that does or could harm another. It no more addresses a “white lie” than “Thou shalt not kill” does.
Then, the grace-filled view:
Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. To tell a slight untruth in cases where the frank truth would be hurtful is to be loving.
Someone said, “For me, when truth and compassion conflict, compassion wins every time.”
There are, of course, circumstances where a white lie can come back to bite you on the ass. Avoid them. In fact, avoid lying at all if you can – though beyond the age of six, it’s rare when you can avoid it in all times and circumstances.
But do the right thing, the caring thing, first and foremost. It’s what we’re commanded to do, SHAKES.
I like that response, Polycarp – made sense to me.
Particularly that line about truth and compassion conflicting, because it’s so true that compassion always wins.
At least some white lies (“How do you like my hair?” “It’s beautiful!”) fall more in the realm of conventional pleasantries rather than lies. The person hearing it may well recognize that in response to such a question, the “it’s beautiful” response is nothing more than a standard answer which may be totally devoid of actual content.
I like Polycarp’s response as well. I think the elaboration would be to truly listen to what the other person is saying, and hear their needs. In the innocuous case of the haircut; Do they like it?, or do they need a real opinion? If they do seem to be happy with it, be glad for them, it may not be your idea of a great haircut, but, to each his own. If they are uncertain about it, find out why not, probably obvious, and see what you can do to make the situation better.
Maybe I’m being overly simple, but compassion is pretty simple, yet not too easy.
White lies are a dilemma that’s going to come up a lot in life: You’re essentially forced to make a decision between two bad choices.
So I’d think that as a lie they are wrong, but if you can do the least harm by lying and can live with that, I’d say go for it anyway.
Often, I think that the whole human race might be beter of if we didn’t engage in white lies - or any lies. While the Nazi example is a classic reasoning the opposite way, I find that shunning or outright condemnation works better. Even the most powerful governments couldn’t exist if people just started ignoring them.
Of course, the Nazi's only took power because people were willing to believe in them without drinkin lies, so...
White lies, however, usually don’t have thugocracies backing them. I prefer to avoid them, though I know I’m not perfect in this regard.