is the best thing"
I was listening to Tracy Chapman’s song and it made me think.
I’m very uncomfortable with telling a lie, and I’m not good at it. But, I can see where, sometimes, it would indeed be the “best thing” to lie. Even a big lie.
Does anyone never lie?
Peace,
mangeorge
I only know two things;
I know what I need to know
And
I know what I want to know
Mangeorge, 2000
Actually, I’ve found that telling the truth sooner, rather than later, is the best and much tougher thing to do.
I can’t say I never lie, 'cause I have in the past. The hard part is not repeating the errors of the past. Especially if the truth will hurt someone more than a lie or the delayed truth.
Voted Best Sport
And narrowly averted the despised moniker Smiley Master
Although I try not to make a habit of it, I have to say I am one hell of a liar in terms of believability. Quite an asset as a kid. Less beneficial now.
Sure I have lied, everyone has, it our nature, comes so naturally we don’t even know we lied. Important: don’t tell the same lie twice, doesn’t work even on different people. No I Do Not Lie
Interesting topic! I have to agree, sometimes a lie is kinder than the truth. We probably have all had that question,
‘Does this make me look fat?’
‘Mommy, do you wish we weren’t here?’
You can think horrible things,(and you might get over whatever it is you’re thinking anyway MUCH faster than the ‘truth’ you just laid on someone’s heart) and the truth would devastate the other person, and * they are more important to you * than answering their question could ever be. To me, you err on the side of kindness, in those cases.
And who would want to know anyone, who when some madman asks where your co worker is, that you politely point to the closet where they are hiding??
Judy
“Um, according to who? Nothing more than a high brow troll, though occasionally the bi polar personality swung in a constructive direction on innocuous topics.” Omniscient
The truth is a high obligation indeed, but there are sometimes higher ones. Protecting the innocent from evil would be one of those. You don’t need to point out to the killer where your co-worker is hiding, even if he asks. In fact, it is quite correct to point him the other way, and to hit him over the head if you get the opportunity.
Subjective things, where the difference is only a matter of opinion, are not really a matter of truth vs. lie. One opinion is no more “true” than another. A truth left unexpressed is often the same as a lie; an opinion left unexpressed is often a kindness. That said, people who insist, “Please, tell me what you really think,” shouldn’t get annoyed if you do.
The gray area comes in with such questions as “Did you know about my husband’s affair?” If you didn’t, great. If you did, there is no right answer.
I think the truth is a wonderful thing, it will set you free, etc. However, you also have to take responsibility for the words you say (or type) and the effect they have on others. It is not always neccesary to tell an unasked-for truth, or the whole truth if it mught be damaging to a person. Sometimes silence is truly golden.
Well, let’s be REAL honest, the co worker would have had to climb up on my head, since I would’ve probably hit that closet faster, anyway!
Judy
“Um, according to who? Nothing more than a high brow troll, though occasionally the bi polar personality swung in a constructive direction on innocuous topics.” Omniscient
Okay, so I did lie once.
Before we were married, my ex-wife and I had spent the day at the beach. We had a really good day, and she had been hinting that she was going to give me the “Babe, you don’t have to go home tonight” invite. For the first time.
Well, late in the evening she decided to share with me her favorite snack, which she knew I’d love. One Hostess chocolate cupcake, in a bowl, with canned peaches on top. Syrup and all. (Shudder)
“How did you like it”, she asked.
Well, she had the cutest little body…
And I didn’t go home.
I ate that crap for the rest of our marraige (8 years), and never told her the truth.
I forgive myself.
Peace,
mangeorge (Honey, I’m sorry.)
Teach your kids to bungee jump.
One them might have to cross a bridge someday.
I think more important than being truthful with other people is the ability to be truthful with yourself. Once you’re honest with yourself about who you are and what your faults are, it’s very difficult to lie to others for selfish reasons.
I’m the worst liar ever. I’ll do it, though, if it’s a matter of not hurting someone’s feelings (usually). I won’t do it if I think it’s something important. A guy a work with was having an affair with a girl who works here. He’s married with a little three year old. He asked me if I thought he was a “bad” person because of this and I said “yes”. It really hurt his feelings, but I thought it needed to be said. Everyone else was supporting them, going out with them, etc. I didn’t go so far as to seek the wife out and tell her what was going on.
Another time, my boss wanted me to go to one of our stores (where the people didn’t know me) and “shop” them to find out if they were saying things that were against policy. I wouldn’t do it. It required me to pretend I was a customer and to basically lead them into making a mistake. I refused. Not only do I think stuff like that is unethical, I’m just a really bad actress and I’d probably get flustered and screw the whole thing up.
On the other hand, though, if my husband cooks me dinner, I’ll always tell him it’s wonderful, even if it really isn’t. It makes him happy and doesn’t hurt anyone or anything.
That’s the bottom line, isn’t it, whether or not a lie is for selfish reasons. At least that seems to be the consensus here. I agree.
BTW; calling in sick to work doesn’t count.
Peace,
mangeorge
It seems to me that lying is no longer considered as much of an offence as once it was.
[gross approximation\assumption] There used to be cultures where you could be killed for lying!!![/gross approximation\assumption]
I used to think that I never lied about anything important.
THat’s not necessarily true.
I try to be chivalrous. I like to have an intact word of honour.
It’s VERY inconveniant to not be trusted.
I can’t think of anytime when I’ve ever sworn that alie wasthe truth, but you guys are right, sometimes you catch yourself lying out of habit.
Anyway, that’s my righteous rant.
Always remember that the wors lie is “I love you” (if you don’t mean it)
“My drinking team has a Rugby problem.” This sig line has been brought to you by the creative mind of Wally
There are times when “telling a lie” may be more honest than speaking the exact truth. Example: “Honey, do I look as good as I used to?” Well, in a fashion magazine sense maybe the answer is “No”, but do I love you every bit as much as I ever did, even more, and I think you are the best-looking woman there no matter where we go? The answer is “Yes”. Exact truth? Maybe not. Honest answer? Yes.
“I’ll tell him but I don’t think he’ll be very keen. He’s already got one, you see!”
