Even in the days of IRL mail, I was generally on the high end of the responding scale. Still am with e-mail. I hope I don’t carry it too far (some conversations/threads reach a natural end), but most of the time, you send me a message, I’ll send you one, responsive and reasonably thought-out, pretty soon.
My correspondents are naturally scattered across a random range of responsiveness rates. Some are 50-50 to answer even a direct and somewhat exigent question (“Where’s the fire extinguisher???”). Some will answer direct questions but not otherwise respond. Others you can tell march through and basically offer a response to every question you ask, or even every paragraph, question or not. Some answer one of three direct questions. Some respond and raise a new topic, or keep the conversation going. And some get into almost ridiculous politeness chains. Thank you. You’re welcome. Thanks for saying you’re welcome.
Which are you, and does it bug you corresponding with someone whose responsiveness style is markedly different? I used to be a bit annoyed – I put a fair amount of thought into my writing – but over time decided to let it roll off my back, or attribute it to people being busier in their personal lives than I was, or just put it down to their being crappy at reading and writing.
I get annoyed now and then at particularly ungracious or uncommunicative correspondents/friends, not sure what sparks the occasional irritation.
I got to the point where it didn’t matter. But initially when I didn’t get a response to my questions it used to piss me off, as I put a fair amount of thought into what I wrote and initially thought people would respond as I do to emails (I am the one who will respond to each question you ask). I soon found out that is not the way the world works.
Finally I figured out people are different and the only way to get what I wanted was to modify my email correspondence to their style. For example the Principal in charge of our studio is the type that wants short direct questions and hopefully solutions–so that he can say yea or nay. And that is it, he doesn’t want/need explanations.
However my client is the type that needs your whole reasoning on why you did something. Thus he needs a long detailed email that explains the thought process that got you from point A to point B. So if I have the same issue to talk to them about, I do it in separate emails and everyone is happy—including me since I got the direction I needed.
On other emails it got to the point I just didn’t care. I take whatever answer I get these days!
I am one who generally feels he has a responsibility to respond, if you’ve indicated in your email that you expect a response. I also still find it quite rude when another person doesn’t respond at all. Well, at least, in social situations. I see it the same as someone trying to talk to you in real life, and you just ignoring them. I will make, at most, two emails, and if you don’t respond to them, I will wait on you to say something. I may try again a month or so down the line, but that’s it.
I basically see it as: if you aren’t going to talk to me, what’s the point in me talking to you?