Oh, and Broomstick, I’ve always made it a habit to touch people when exchanging money or handing them something. I didn’t know that some people find that objectionable. From now on, I shall keep my hands to myself.
Anaamika said:
"Eew. Please don’t touch me on purpose. I value my personal space, and I don’t know where your hands have been or what you’ve been doing with them. I It’s not that I am so germ-phobic, but touching me deliberately verges on creepy.*
I guess it’s not that much of a shocker that some people don’t like to be touched; it’s just so very opposite of how I am.
So how do you all feel about strangers’ laying on of hands? What about your SOs or family members?And what makes you feel that way?How much of a priority is affection in your romantic relationships?
I’ve already expressed that I’m a toucher, but lest you think I’m Esther the Molester, I just mean a brief, almost imperceptible brush on the shoulder or hand.
I shudder to think of all the people I must have creeped out by now! :eek:
Don’t like being touched by strangers; don’t even like them within touching distance.
Like being touched by SO and family members. Affection is very much a priority in romantic relationships. Touching is just for intimate people, not strangers on the street.
I think it is my culture combined with my personal preference that makes me this way (I’m Canadian, and we have a reputation for having a very large personal space requirement). I have a theory that living in a cold country makes us very conscious of giving each other lots of room when we are all cooped up together for seven months of the year.
I’m very touchy-feely. Not only in romantic relationships, but I like to hug my friends, and I frequently touch someone on the arm or shoulder when talking to them–not constantly, but sometimes when I’m making a point or whatever. I touch strangers less than family or friends, because there is a much lower level of intimacy there, but I’m not hands-off by any means. So obviouly, I’m OK with being touched by strangers too, as long as it’s not too familiar; i.e. the same brief touch on the arm or shoulder I’d give.
Unfortunately, I’m pregnant, and I’ve heard that it’s very common for complete strangers to come up and put their hands on pregnant women’s bellies, which is over the line for me–if I haven’t met you before, and we’re having a conversation, if you ask, I’ll probably say it’s OK, but don’t just come up to me randomly and start pawing at me. That’s very intrusive and inappropriate.
I am very touch-feely with my friends and loved ones, but I do not like being touched by strangers. Sure, I’ll shake hands with someone who offers it, but don’t give me the big fake “I love you” hug if you don’t even know me.
I almost punched a woman once at a Mensa convention when she rushed up at me and gave me a big bear-hug. Being embraced by total strangers alarms me. I doubt that I am the only person who feels this way.
Not very touchy-feely. Please stand back- I need my space. Hugs are okay from close friends. My husband and a couple of very close friends are the only ones with touching privileges.
I like a bit of contact now and then - I’m not into hugging friends but just a touch on the arm to emphasise what you’re saying, offer sympathy etc. (sympathy hugs are important too). Mind you if I hear good news from someone else they’ are very likely to get a hug too. I lived in Italy for a while and guess I picked up the habit there - or rather my natural inclination was nurtured there.
After living on the continent* for a long time I’m totally at home with the formalised greeting of cheek kissing and miss it when it’s not there. To the extent that it recently felt plain wrong when after a four day seminar (including late evenings drinking in the bar) in the back of beyond near Leizig the 8 students left without any physical contact at all. If you don’t like the person you can do the exchange quickly knowing it means nothing, if you are friends a quick word or a hand on the shoulder adds intimacy. I’ve never had a problem with it.
In the UK it tends to be a bear hug or nothing, cheek kissing is replaced by pretentious air kisses à la AbFAb. In the UK women don’t seem to shake hands outside work situations so after being introduced to another female at a paty or in a bar what do you do ? “um yeah hi” ?
I actually find space invaders more of a problem - the folks who invade your personal space without obviously violating it enough for you to complain. You know the guy (or gal, let’s not be sexist) who stand intimidatingly close to you that you have to take a step back … and you end up traversing the whole room ? Stand back I say!
*sorry, Britspeak, I mean mainland Europe
With strangers, no way. If I am not comfortable with you, do not touch me. You will freak me out. But if I know you well and like you, I like to be touched.
Touching is acceptable in the context of a ritualized social greeting, like a handshake or cheek-kissing. Otherwise, unless you’re a relative or we’re very close, hands OFF. Accidental contact is fine, it doesn’t bug me, but don’t reach out and start stroking me or something. It’s creepy.
I don’t like it when anyone touches me, even friends and family, but it’s really creepy when strangers do it (aside from shaking my hand or something, which I have to tolerate because it would be rude not to.)
The worst is when strangers touch my hair. Yes, it’s long; yes, it’s curly; no, you don’t want it, and you can’t have it.
Touch me when I’m expecting it or watching you do it, you’ll get a tightening of the muscles or a dirty look, depending on if the touch is necessary or not (exceptions made for young children and babies). Touch me when I’m not expecting it, and prepare to be elbowed or shoved away out of reflex as I whip around and see what manner of foul beast has manhandled my person.
No - unless your friend or family I’d prefer you didn’t stand close enough to me to touch me while talking. I like my personal space. If you get closer than say 2 feet to me in speaking, I’ll most likely take a step back. Accidential touching - fine - but stroking my arm or resting a hand on my shoulder?! NO thank you!
Family, friends, persons I’m interested in? Bring it on!
Strangers? Don’t touch me, please. Speaking as a sometime cashier, I try like crazy not to touch customers’ hands because who knew where they’ve been? It’s bad enough having to touch all that money. Thank heaven for hand sanitizer. I hate people who hug instantly. Don’t hug me until I know you, please! Shaking hands is okay, but no social kissing. Ewww.
Family? I don’t seem to have a touchy-feely family, which is okay by me.
My sweetie? Bring it on. All the time. I need lots and lots of cuddles and stuff from him. Maybe I saved up all my touchy-feeliness for him.
