I am often amazed at the emotion and vehemence displayed in many of the posts here.
I post my honest opinion but I also work hard to be tactful and clear and display some empathy for others and be open to others’ points of view. This is the way I am in real life as well.
After 3 years here, I am still caught off guard by how many Dopers get so worked up over topics that are anything but life and death. On one hand, I truly admire such passion, but on the other hand I get turned off by the narrow-mindedness that often seems to go along with it.
If you’re an emotional poster, do you express yourself so strongly in order to be “heard” and noticed? Are you that expressive IRL?
I have to watch myself. I try to read over what I have written, to see if I’ve gone overboard or reacted too hard without good reason. Sometimes, I go too far, anyway. I try to remember this is not just a conversation in a tavern. What I write here today may be read by somebody 5 years from now. I can apologize in a later post, but I cannot erase what I posted.
No, but that corresponds with my personality, as I’m not really an emotional person. It takes a lot to get me upset to the point where I’m enraged and not thinking clearly.
I think it’s common to become narrow-minded when you’re angry. I can’t explain why, but I’m very focused when I’m angry and not much gets through to me.
IRL I’m very hard to upset. I have friends that have known me for 15 years that have only seen me get mad a few times. Online however, I can be a real bastard sometimes. Something about the web brings out the worst in me at times. It comes out almost exclusively if I’ve had a few too many cold ones, or if I’m already in a crappy mood. Almost every single time I’ve posted something nasty online. I read it the next day and ask myself “What the hell were you thinking?”
There’s a disconnect in online communicating, as opposed to talking in person. That difference seems to be magnified for me. I tend to have a much more difficult time expressing myself in text than I do when speaking. The lack of tone in online posts can also be misleading, and can lead to heated exchanges.
I suspect that others are like this too, at least to a degree. Then there are people who are just mean, whiny, and manic all the time.
I really try not to be emotional or offensive. I’ll often preview a post and re-read it even if there are no spelling/coding mistakes, then I go back and edit the post to make myself more clear. I’m always afraid I’ll say something that’ll be misinterpreted as something offensive.
Like Job used potsherds to scrape his scabs, I use my keyboard to scrape my emotional sores.
Sometimes the moment I hit the “submit” button, the payoff of self-disgust is like that of an alcoholic cracking the seal on a bottle.
Even when I don’t publicly post, I wade through the stations of the double-cross as it progressed along the standard series of “I’m having a dopefest: interested parties e-mail me for directions;” (which I’ve done, receiving no resposne) thread, later to read the “sorry, the dopefest is cancelled” thread; ending with the “wow, that was a great dopefest!” thread, with exquisite payoff in rejection.
Maybe I should move the computer to the back porch: I’d benefit from some fresh air and sunlight!
Not usually. I’ve gotten really worked up a couple of times, but it was only when somebody else (rarely the OP Dopey) got personal and or rude in their attacks. I remember very early when I was posting and finally did the “off with the clip ons and off with the slip ons… bring it bitch!” tango with an obnoxious troll. He was an American Indian [or claimed to be] and while there is nobody who will deny they’ve gotten the stinky end of the stick throughout American history this guy took it to absurd extremes: essentially the American Indians were the most peaceful and technologically advanced (?!) and wonderful race of people who ever lived and life here was total paradise until the evil whites came with diseased blankets and killed and raped everything in sight, yada yada. Well, the truth was a little more complex than that and I pointed out that most tribes were not particularly peaceful and that most of the disease wasn’t deliberate (some admittedly was) and that every culture that’s ever lived had its share of atrocities and evil rulers (including the Aztecs, Incans, etc.), none of which justifies the Trail of Tears but at the same time it’s just not so that the Indians were angels and whites were devils and that’s that. He got furious and psycho and really personal and we went to town and it was a whole bunch of cannon firing and chest thumping that didn’t accomplish jakschitt.
I’ve gotten heated over a couple of gay and or religion threads and I’ve told the occasional Doper to uckfay himself, but I think I’ve usually been provoked. Generally speaking I prefer to “keep it light” because I prefer my dysfunction in person rather than anonymously. I also haunt The Pit a lot more than I do Great Debates because personally (and I doubt I’m the only Doper who feels this way) I find the tone often a lot more civil. (You can tell somebody to uckfay themselves without using the exact words.)
I try and stay disconnected from the board by using it as a means to develop myself, because it’s probably far from real life… though, I do care greatly for its community and understand that there are people behind these names.
But maybe sometimes you can learn from a place such as this one, and I’d like to continue to try and understand what that might really mean. I’m not really sure yet.
Being an emotional person in life makes me an emotional poster I assume, and I love to see other posts tied to emotion, not the “vicious standpoint” kind, but the kind that you know were the drafts of someone’s thoughts.
Sometimes I forget you people are real.
The SD’s a nice place to drop off and pick up when you need to.
I don’t get into emotional arguments very much these days. I don’t react the same way, and I’m a little less likely to get into sometihng really contentious. I’d rather try to achieve some kind of understanding than loudly state my principles over and over. If we’re talking about works of art, though, I’m always happy to talk about something that affected me emotionally.
Same. Generally I preview and edit my opinion posts six or more times until I’m sure I’ve been as clear as I can be and haven’t inadvertently offended anyone. This is particularly the case where I feel strongly about something, because I really believe that if I present things logically rather than getting silly about it, that I’ve got a better chance of giving people a different point of view to consider.
Of course, I’m so gosh-darned considerate that I should probably be voted The One Most Likely to Eventually Snap and Exit in a Verbally Pyrotechnic Blaze of Suddenly Released Pent-Up Hostilty, Tearing Some Idiot a Completely Deserved New One On the Way.
Which you have to admit, would be a really good user name.
I’m cynical about posting emotionally at the moment.
I used to do that. But I see so many others make complete idiots of themselves either trying to make things out of what’s said to build up an emotional battlefield for themselves, or I find a lot of the chest-beating and hair-ripping just same ol’- same ol’ boring. In some cases, it’s just folks saying “Look at me! I’m causing a fuss! You have to notice me now!”
I used to let myself get concerned about strangers. I try to only do that these days when it’s friends involved. They’re the ones who care.
I’ll probably change again in a few months time and be the soppy sook I used to be. These things are cyclical.
I don’t know if I’m emotional or not. You tell me.
I know if someone’s having trouble with something or grieving or something and I offer my support and condolences it’s completely sincere - but frankly, I don’t think I get that worked up over other stuff.
I suppose I’m just too lazy to care.
Or, upon preview, a lot of what Ice Wolf said. See? I’m too lazy to even have an original thought!
No, and I don’t understand how people can get so worked up over a message board. If some of the stuff that goes on in GD were to occur face-to-face, I swear the police would be called.
I’m a little confused by what you mean by “emotional poster.” I post about emotions, and when I offer condolences or something, I do mean it, but do I get emotional about what I’m posting about here? Not usually. Some things (and some posters) get my fur up, but I try not to respond in kind or to take offense when someone slams something I’ve said. I’ve taken to heart the rule “attack the post, not the poster” for all forums. I have no reason to attack other posters; if they get rude, that just reflects on them, not on me.
Off the top of my head, I can think of two times that I have been attacked on these boards. The first time (which really came out of left field) was from a crazy dude who got kicked off very soon after. The second time was from a very well-known, well-loved poster who went after me all out of proportion to something I had said. In both cases, I didn’t attack back, and I felt much better for having stayed reasonable than I would have for having a knock-down, drag-out fuckyoufest.
Why yes, I am a saint - how kind of you to notice.
