Are you and your SO more alike, or more different? We just took the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory. I came out an ENFJ, and he’s an ISTP. Those results are pretty damn accurate: I’m a teacher and the ENFJ personality title is Teacher; ISTP is The Crafter, and he’s a mechanic/trucker/ musician.
I use the MBPI as a short-hand to illustrate dispositional differences between us that are very marked. They haven’t led to fighting yet, EXCEPT in fiscal issues (I’m thrifty, he’s not). Our life goals are the same, and we can spend lots of time together enjoying the same things. When we want to do things the other doesn’t, we can do them separately, but it doesn’t happen too often because we like to hang out. We do have some significant philosophical differences (I’m a vegetarian, he loves bacon, for instance), but don’t argue about them, probably because we’re both adults.
This is my most harmonious, and satisfying relationship ever, so far. He is the most genuinely laid-back, relaxed, unworried person I’ve ever met, which I think nicely balanced my more intense, mercurial, and darker nature (and he makes me laugh and isn’t ever mean on purpose). I’m wondering if other people have this kind of complementary thing going in their relationships, if it’s something that heralds long-term success for other people, or if there’s not generalization to be made. Since I am unaccustomed to happiness, I wonder if all these temperamental/dispositional differences will eventually crop up and become a problem, or if it’s really good to have balanced rather than similar personalities, and I should just not worry. I know what he’d say…
We’re pretty complementary. I’m an ENTP and my SO is (IIRC) an INTJ. I don’t know if that combination is supposed to work, but her steadiness is a good counterbalance for my off-the-wall tendencies. But we’re similar religiously and politically, maybe because we’ve both got the NT component?
I forget what we were categorized as, but I do remember that the minister was not so sure we should get married - its now 20 years & 3 kids later. I guess it is not all about testing.
I would say my husband and I are about 90% similar disposition. The 10% that we’re different is useful in areas where one of us has a strength and the other a weakness (for example, I check my wild and crazy ideas with him before embarking on them now. I’m not as likely to get trapped in a basement stairwell by a futon frame that way.)
Funnily enough, the closest we’ve come to having an argument over differences has been discussing Picard vs. Kirk as the best captain. That’s some good geeking.
My husband is naturally outgoing, easy to get along with, talkative and friendly. It’s easy for him to just talk to anyone and strike up a conversation. I’m more reserved and shy until I get to know someone, so I can always “tag along” on his social interactions; he chats with people, I nod and smile, and interject as I become more comfortable.
Meanwhile, he likes my and my family’s quietness. His family is the stereotypical Italian family, with yelling going on whether or not they’re angry at each other. I sometimes have to step out because they’re so loud. My family and I don’t have to be talking all the time, and definitely not shouting; we’re happy being laid-back.
–Sense of humor
–Intelligence
–Taste/views in art, music, politics, ethics
–Future plans, including children and the like
We’re opposites in:
–General temperment (Optomist and pessimist.)
–Mental orientation (verbal versus mathematical)
–Self-discipline (indulgent versus practical)
–Religion (atheist versus “Something” believer)
All in all, we compliment one another, making up in areas where the other person is weaker.
I think my wife and I are more alike than not. Certainly, we’re complementary.
While our senses of humor are quite different, she likes mine and I like hers, usually.
We have similar ideas about religion and children and the relationship and other important stuff.
We are both drama-free and of agreeable disposition.
We have similar tastes in music, which is what first brought us together.
We’re able to function independent of one another, and don’t always need to be in each other’s hair.
She is prone to worry; I am prone to be able to come up with reasons not to worry.
My SO and I are pretty different. We have different tastes in everything and she’s has a very cheery demeanor, while I’m more somber.
I remember I came out as an INTP and if I had to guess hers, it would be ESTJ.
Hard to say. He laughs at my jokes, I (generally) laugh at his. We both get really stressed about the same things, we like doing the same things.
He also flies off the handle at the drop of a hat, screams, yells, then calms down pretty quick. Me, it takes me awhile to get pissed, but when I do, I don’t forget and I stay mad. We also have differing ideas on my son, but I won’t go there.
What I meant to finish saying is that it’s hard to tell if we’re complementary or not - we don’t have similar dispositions, but we get along great most of the time. I haven’t been happier with anyone else, and neither has he.
We did the Myers-Briggs years ago and came out with almost the same score. I think we were nurturing caring verbal types. Or something.
Anyway, he’s a touch more aggressive than I am, and, tidier by nature. I can’t think of a lot of significant tempermental differences. We’re pretty similar.
My best friend and her husband are quite different from each other, and they compliment each other nicely.
Asimovian and I have similar temperaments, but other than that, we’re pretty different. We’re both really, really laid-back folks, almost to the point of being passive. We’re both rather lackidasical housekeepers and enjoy spending time slacking around the house.
However, Asi is really, really not impulsive. He will start planning every moment of our vacation months ahead of time, which bores (and frustrates) me to tears. I want to just hop in the car and go. I like to make really loose plans and figure things out as we go along. If given a chance, I’ll be about 15 minutes late to everything, and Asi will be 30 minute early (but it balances out so we’re usually 15 minutes early to everything). Our most pronounced difference is that he’s much more outgoing. He has a very large circle of acquaintances and it seems that “the more, the merrier” is his motto. I’m rather quiet and don’t particularly care for large parties.
I think that having someone who is different than you makes life more challenging, but in the end, much more interesting.
I don’t know that MBI temperment matters as much as interests. You need some things in common, and other things that are complementary. By the same test, I am INTJ, but strong only on the NT. She is ISFJ, strongly so. Things worked great for the first 10 years. It has been more of a struggle for the last 14. That might be all the little critters running around the house, though.
