Another vote for “not quite over the novelty of it, but otherwise fine”.
The spouse and I use, well, “spouse” more often than we used “husband” and “wife”. I don’t know why - we just prefer it.
Excellent.
Curious.
Do you find male couples using husband-husband more common than females calling each other wife-wife?
I know more gay men than lesbians, so in my personal experience, yes. I doubt that generalizes. All the married lesbians I know refer to their partners as, “my wife” (or by name, of course.)
Why is this curious, and why would men use ‘husband’ more than women use ‘wife’?
I’m a gay woman, I know very many gay women. NONE use husband (or boyfriend) to refer to their other half.
I think he meant, “I’m curious.” Not, “oh, that’s curious” as in “how weird!”
I assume without evidence that married gay men refer to each other as “husband” and gay women as “wife”. If a gay woman referred to her spouse as “husband” I would assume she was heterosexual, and likewise for a gay man.
Once I knew better it would be somewhat more disorienting to hear, but whatever.
Regards,
Shodan
It was clearly just a passing thought he wanted to mention, not something to discuss in detail.
In other words, he’s drive-by-curious.
Ok, I’ll spell out my question. Do most lesbian couples prefer calling their partner “wife” or do they prefer another term? Maybe just girlfriends?
As in contrast do more (or fewer) gay couples prefer “husband” or maybe they prefer “boyfriends”?
Wouldn’t that depend on whether or not they’re married?
I have friends who are approaching the 50th Anniversary of their (legal) wedding, so I’ve heard it for quite a while.
It does sometimes give me a start though, but that’s surprise because I didn’t know that person is gay/lesbian.
I think it’s jawdroppingly funny how a couple years after the supreme court decision, anti-gay marriage groups were all like “why weren’t you just happy with civil unions instead of marriage?” 
:smack:
If they prefer whateverfriends, that usually means they have no intent of getting married in the near future. You know, just like heteros?
I think that couples that take the step of getting married usually sign up for upgrading from “girlfriend” to “wife”, regardless of whether they aer gay or straight.
I mean, there was that guy I mentioned who sort of awkwardly didn’t say “husband”, but my impression was that he was in the habit of hiding the fact that he’s gay. So it wasn’t like he was going to use “boyfriend”, he was just avoiding implying that his husband was a guy.
Like, I imagine some gay couples say “partner” instead of husband/wife, but I can’t imagine a nontrivial number would say “boyfriend/girlfriend” when they are married.
Most husbands are. 
ALL husbands are men.
Our local paper once had some photos of gay couples who considered themselves married. A co-worker asked me which person in the couples I thought looked like the “husband” and which one like the “wife.” I had to set her straight (so to speak) about husbands being men and women being wives. End of discussion.
Yes, my point was that he didn’t use the word “husband” because he was in the habit of obscuring the fact that he’s married to a guy, even though he was trying to switch his language to acknowledge that publicly.
Saying husband or wife , is yet another example of cis-gendered demands for conformity by bigoted folks.
Spouse is questionable, use they’m or they’f or Que? Check your privilege!
Totally cool with it.
My social circle is almost all gay men. Every single married couple I know uses ‘husband’ In fact, for the first few months after they get married, it’s common for newly wed couples to mention the word ‘husband’ in just about every sentence they speak!
It’s kinda similar when two guys go from the dating stage to the boyfriend stage. Every sentence includes ‘my boyfriend this’ ‘my boyfriend that’
In fact, I temporarily muted a friend of mine on twitter because I got tired of his mushy tweets about his new bf.