I would expect my parents to be more bonded to me than my fiancee. After all, they’ve known me for 32 years longer than they’ve known her and were present for those all-important stages of life such as Diaper Changing, and Learning to Walk. So my bond with my parents is going to be greater, sure. But they treat us equally. My fiancee has been embraced as a genuine family member and is treated on par with me and my sister.
If my mother or father actually loves their daughters-in-law less than my brothers and myself, my parents certainly don’t show it. In fact, since my mom had only three boys to raise, having two daughters, if only by law, is a huge thrill to mom. I have repeatedly asked for mom’s infamous “just-barely-not-fudge” brownie recipe. I have never been told “no”, but I have never been given the recipe. Both sisters-in-law were “trained” to make the brownies within a year of being married.
That said, I am the single one, so I am not privy to any private conversations that might occur within a couple.
I suppose there may be something about how “well-defined” a family your family is. (I.e. Just how much does “blood” count for in your family.) We are pretty darn accepting. There are people who have no blood relation to me whatsoever whom I call “cousin, aunt, or uncle” I am “uncle” to some of my cousins’ kids.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents and my wife’s mom (dad passed away a while back) decided to simply swap kids. My MIL and I get along absolutely fantastically, and my parents both love my wife. My aunts all really like her, as well. Maybe it has something to do with there being nothing but boys growing up in my extended family.
If we assume gift$$$=love (which of course we don’t in real life, but it makes for a fun discussion), the one who gets the most love from my parents is our son (the first grandkid, so whaddaya expect?), followed by my wife, then me. This is mostly because I usually tell people what I want for Christmas, and my gift wants are fairly austere or practical (I want to buy big-ticket items myself so I can kick all the tires and get exactly what I want, plus I feel guilty about my parents spending a lot on me now that I’m making more than they ever did). My wife, on the other hand, is very indefinite about her gift list, plus I think my mom is thrilled to finally have a daughter to shop for now, especially one who shares her tastes.