Hey everyone. This gives me a headache, and I’d like to know your opinions.
We got married in October (I actually created one post about it), and we didn’t get any gifts from my spouse’s family. Yes, we feel it’s messed up, But whatever, this post isn’t about it. My wife’s sister got pregnant around the same time we got married. She attended our wedding, didn’t help us with anything even though we asked her (I needed her help with my hair and she promised to come earlier but instead she was 2 hours late to our ceremony even though she was supposed to be a witness). On top of everything she wasn’t talking to me on our wedding dinner, and was giving me attitude because I sent her a message after her being 1.5 hrs late that we’re starting without her, and she doesn’t have to bother anymore and go straight to the reception. She was telling us way before we got married that she’ll give us a gift but never did and avoids the topic, whatever. Anyways, now as she’s pregnant she kind of acts like my wife is obligated to help her out once the baby is born. It’s too early for the baby shower but I just feel that if she didn’t give us anything for our wedding, we shouldn’t give anything to her either. Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m just being logical. I don’t work, I go to school full time (my sister pays for it), I have thousands of $ to pay for my immigration fees. My wife is working and getting payed a little bit above minimum wage and she’s a full time student as well. We don’t have any savings because all we got four our wedding from my wedding guests we spent on all the crazy fees. Now, my wife’s sister is first of irresponsible for getting pregnant now because she planned it, she has 2 years left to get her degree, her relationship is falling apart, her boyfriend doesn’t have a job, they live with his mom for free, and she’s now trying to get fired on purpose because she doesn’t like her boss. Instead of saving money and working more now as she can she’s very thoughtless, and thinks everybody will take care of her baby and she’ll be just sitting and doing nothing. She knows my wife and I have no savings but she’s sending her pictures of all the fancy stuff she wants for the baby: formula machine (it’s basically like a coffee machine but it’s for formula-so dumb, and it’s $250), stroller for $1,500, etc, and she’s basically suggesting that my wife should get it for her because this is her first nephew/niece.
I just worry because my wife’s family is very irresponsible when it comes to money. They all have huge debts for years including the sister who’s on her way of going into debts since her credit cards are completely maxed out, she’s leasing a car for $500 a month and she’s trying to lose her job. I know my wife thinks you always have to help your family because this is where you come from, but I just feel like there is a difference between helping someone who is trying to achieve something, and helping someone who just doesn’t care and wants to stay in need forever because that’s comfortable.
So now since I described a little background, am I a bad person if I just really don’t want to get her a gift?