Maybe once or twice a quarter, neither one of us much care to socialize without the other and our son. We are aware that our oldest is leaving home within the next 13 months or so. We likely won’t see him for a couple of years and so neither of us much feels like doing much that doesn’t include him. We’ll have plenty of time for that soon enough.
5a) Between 2 and 4 a month and usually it’s because the teen has a date or outing with friends already.
5b) Maybe once a month, but not often. We do alot of socializing with other families with older teenagers.
When we lived nearer where we grew up, the number for how often he went out to play or watch sports with friends was much higher. Being with his friends he laughs so much and comes home with such stories and relaxed that I am happy for him when he gets that chance.
Very rarely. Probably fewer than 10 times in the last several years.
5a. At least 15. We spend a lot of time out.
5b. Before we moved it would sometimes include friends. But now never as we’re in a new town.
1) Your sex. Female, legally married to female partner. 2) How long have you been married? 4 months legally; 6 years since community ceremony. 3) Number and ages of your kids, if any. None. 4) How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITHOUT your spouse? This includes bars, dinner, golf, poker, sporting events (to arenas or just on TV). Perhaps 2 or 3, though I count certain professional work activities as “pleasure.” 5a) How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITH your spouse? Probably 8-10. 5b) Of these, how many times does it include friends (not just the 2 of you)? About 50%
How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITHOUT your spouse? This includes bars, dinner, golf, poker, sporting events (to arenas or just on TV).
Average MONTH? Maybe once or twice in an average YEAR.
5a) How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITH your spouse?
3, on average. Though that means some months 0, some months 6.
5b) Of these, how many times does it include friends (not just the 2 of you)?
Only once or twice a year, usually during the summer.
About 2 to3 times a month, it was more than that but I’ve been so lazy lately.
5a) Twice, if that. Getting her to go out to dinner or movie is like pulling teeth with her. So, I don’t try anymore.
5b)one
Weekend mornings are my play time. He’s welcome to come along, but usually chooses not to. The other factor is that my husband is disabled and is just not as physically able to get around as well as other people. So there are some activities I do - such as cross country skiing - he either physically can’t do at all, or can do only with more difficulty than he finds worthwhile. On the other hand, he has never wanted me to give up doing those things I find enjoyable just because he can’t do them. We do make a point of doing something together every weekend, though.
I would strongly advise NOT trying to resolve this disagreement by comparing yourselves with other couples; I would really try to deal with this ‘in house’; listen to her reasons; ask her what she wants and try to accommodate; also explain yourself calmly, but clearly and try to be flexible and understanding. Bringing other people into the disagreement might make one of you back down from the argument, but I don’t think it will be a happy resolution.
4 ish
5a) 2 ish (more like 8 if you include lunches and stuff with our daughter)
5b) .5 - we probably only get together with friends every couple of months but we have people over more often than that.
How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITHOUT your spouse? This includes bars, dinner, golf, poker, sporting events (to arenas or just on TV).
1 or 2
5a) How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITH your spouse?
6
5b) Of these, how many times does it include friends (not just the 2 of you)?
1
1, 2 if I’m lucky. Once a month for both husband and wife is not a bad thing and should be encouraged.
5a) 6-10, counting the kids too, maybe 1 w/o the kids if we’re lucky.
5b) 1 if we’re lucky…usually it’s with inlaws or my family.
Eventually the kid(s) will become a huge factor in your numbers. You should have question 5c):
Of these, how many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITH your spouse AND kids?
Hey, let us know on what you and the spouse agreed upon.
Number and ages of your kids, if any. None (he has some grown kids from a previous marriage).
How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITHOUT your spouse? This includes bars, dinner, golf, poker, sporting events (to arenas or just on TV). Never - he insists on being with me everywhere but work and the ladies’ room.
5a) How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITH your spouse? Four to twelve, I guess.
5b) Of these, how many times does it include friends (not just the 2 of you)? Two to four.
How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITHOUT your spouse? This includes bars, dinner, golf, poker, sporting events (to arenas or just on TV).
5a) How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITH your spouse?
5b) Of these, how many times does it include friends (not just the 2 of you)?
Male
5 years
None
On average, 6-9 times. All of them are movies, and I’m always by myself
5a) We rarely have “dates” out (we usually enjoy each other’s company at home most of the time). She loves doing errands together, so not sure if that counts. We also go for walks fairly often around our neighborhood, so don’t know if that “counts” either. Let’s say 5-6 (since we mostly stay in for our quality time).
5b) Never
3) Number and ages of your kids, if any.
None, and we plan to keep it that way.
4) How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITHOUT your spouse? This includes bars, dinner, golf, poker, sporting events (to arenas or just on TV).
Unless you count visiting friends/family, probably once a year. If you do count visiting friends/family, maybe every 5-6 weeks or so.
5a) How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITH your spouse?
About once or twice a month. Roughly every other Friday.
5b) Of these, how many times does it include friends (not just the 2 of you)?
**Very ** rarely. Maybe once or twice a year.
That’ll no doubt skew the figures, but bear in mind I’m not much into socialising outside of my home.
If my husband didn’t talk me into getting out and about, I’d probably be quite content to stay at home for most of the year. He’s a social butterfly married to an antisocial moth.
I’m more than happy for people to visit (we have friends/family pop in most Saturdays and Sundays) but as for going out…no, I don’t have any urge to do that.
We’ll go out for tea together as a couple once every few weeks though, which I can enjoy as long as I don’t have to get dressed up for it (I loathe flashy restaurants).
I should probably add that if you include the time we were living together prior to marriage, we’ve been together for over 7 years now. Damn my literal brain for taking ‘married’ at face value and not considering you’re probably trying to profile for length of cohabitation.
Thanks for all of the responses so far. It’s pretty clear that the numbers vary significantly, and that there’s no magic formula. I will take the advice to leave the stats of other couples OUT of the conversations with my wife. I’ve always felt that I was arguing my case based on my views, but I just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t asking for anything too outlandish. Clearly, children have a huge impact on the numbers. My wife and I take our baby everywhere that we go together. I will also take the advice that we should occasionally find a trustworthy babysitter and have dates. Thanks again for all the great advice. And just to throw a monkey wrench into the whole thing, Baby 2 is expected to join us some time in February.
4) How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITHOUT your spouse? This includes bars, dinner, golf, poker, sporting events (to arenas or just on TV). Oh gosh…I’m saying at least twice a week, or 8-10 times a month. I go to the stable to do barn chores daily, and I ride the horse regularly, but that’s kinda like counting going to the gym. But I do trail rides and such with buddies a few times a week, too. (As well as lunches and whatnot with nonhorsey buddies.)
5a) How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITH your spouse? At the very least twice a week, or 8-10 times a month.
5b) Of these, how many times does it include friends (not just the 2 of you)? Not too often–we can never get the schedules coordinated. I’d say maybe twice a month or so.
Number and ages of your kids, if any.** 3: Boys, ages 13, 10, 2.5**
How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITHOUT your spouse? This includes bars, dinner, golf, poker, sporting events (to arenas or just on TV). ** For pleasure? Maybe 1-2**
5a) How many times in an average month do you go out for pleasure WITH your spouse?** 8-10**
5b) Of these, how many times does it include friends (not just the 2 of you)?** 2-3 **
On number 4, Hubby’s answer would be about the same.
I used to do breakfast once a month with “the girls” but they’re in Florida and I’m in Maryland, so now, never.
5a) 8-10
5b) Hardly ever. We had trouble in Florida meshing our schedule with friends, and we haven’t reconnected with our friends here in the MD area yet, what with just getting the house and all.
