I’m over 6’4" and built like a brick shithouse. I’m working class, and dress accordingly. Sometimes I have a shaved head and wear black sunglasses. I can look pretty rough sometimes. On the other hand, I’m a pussycat and I don’t have bad-ass attitude.
This means that if people talk to me for more than a few moments, they will see that I’m harmless. However, I can do ‘bas-ass’ just long enough to get me out of trouble. I live in a rough area, and I tend not to get hassled. Touch wood, I’ve never been mugged or anything. I walk home at night with a confident gait and a slight scowl. works for me.
Another advantage is that people I talk to think I’m nicer than I actually am, because I look rough, they expect the worst, and then when I’m friendly and courteous, they’re really happy. On the other hand, a natty little five foot tall clean cut guy could be equally friendly and courteous, and it doesn’t have the same effect.
The disadvantage is that when I’m walking home at night, I might see a woman up ahead of me. I can see her glancing over her shoulder, stiffening, and quickening her pace a little. This is annoying for me because I’m a very fast walker, and many times I’ve had to either slow down or cross the street.
Memo to all people out there who feel vulnerable when walking alone:
PLEASE KEEP TO ONE EXTREME SIDE OF THE FOOTPATH!
If you insist on walking right down the middle of the path, when I overtake I will be obliged to do it close to you, and I will scare the crap out of you as I suddenly appear. Keep to one side, and then I can help you by giving you a wide berth, and you won’t get a start.
And to the woman who catches my train every night. Jeee-zuz, love, I’m on the same train as you and I walk home the same way as you every night, and have done so for six months. Every night you sense me approaching and get scared. Every night I overtake you, pay no interest in you, and disappear. Scary people just want to go home too. You should be used to me by now.
Another annoying one is the person who walks out of a house or shop, and I am approaching down the path. They turn and actually see me, register mentally that I am there, but still get a fright when I walk past. How can I be following you if I was there first??? If I’m that frightening, just wait five seconds longer and let me go past first, already.
Like MaddyStrut, I’m one of those people that dogs, cats, and small children gravitate to. People stop me to ask for directions. I’m a smiler, I make eye contact with everyone I encounter, and I have a “friendly” face.
All of this belies the fact that I can and will put your ass on the ground if you make me.
That’s me too. While I never get mugged, threatened with violence, or otherwise seriously hassled, the local scumbags must think I am a cigarette machine. People seem to single me out as a soft touch for smokes and money. Kids and animals like me. There have been a couple of times when I’ve met a small child of eighteen months or two years age, and the parent has forewarned me, ‘Don’t be offended if he’s scared of you. He’s very scared of beards’ (I normally wear a full beard), and I go there and within two minutes the kid is climbing on me, giggling, pulling my ears, etc.
Me, too … only without the hidden ability to kick anyone’s ass. I’m definitely not scary. I manage to surprise lots of people who judge me on my appearance (short, overweight, young-looking and also “nice girl”-looking), but never with fear. I’m ok with that.
As far as I can tell, I am unscary. I do not have an ‘edge’ to me. If I do project any sort of offputting vibe, it’s not the ‘mean and likely to whup you’ vibe, it’s more likely to be the ‘bitter and imprisoned by fate’ vibe.
Dogs like me, but I am often indifferent to them. I like cats, but they are often indifferent to me.
I’m very thin, so I pretty much consider it as a given that in any fight I’m most likely to lose. But indeed, most would flee before even thinking to size me up.
I think I have the weasely, “I’ve got a knife hidden somewhere on my body and you’re going to find it sticking out of your body before you even get to me…and I won’t even have moved.”-look. Personally I can live with it. It doesn’t seem to have gotten me in trouble ever.
And yes, I get along very well with kids and animals.
I have been told that I am, especially to new people. I wear camouflage a lot, which apparently gives off a vibe with some people. I generally don’t like making friends, but am frequently compelled to, and it becomes apparent that I’m not happy about it. I also threaten people a lot. I rarely follow through, but I know who I can pick on and punch in the shoulder if they’re irritating me. I get irritated very easily. Some people’s personalities just set me off.
Pets love me. Kids I don’t know about, I run away before they get the chance. I hate kids.
Apparently not. Once, one of my (college) students told me I should have kids because I’d be a good daddy. :dubious: So much for instilling fear and ruling my classroom with an iron fist.
I guess I am. I don’t know. I know that several people have said I’m intimidating. That being said, I am usually wearing mirrored aviator shades and not smiling. I’m not physically big (5’ 7" and 125 maybe) but I guess I might have an attitude.
I used to be. I found my old cab driver’s license in a drawer recently, the picture looked like A Guy That Would Kill You For Five Dollars. I couldn’t walk into a bar without someone trying to buy drugs off me, and cops were drawn to me like flies to a corpse. Lines mysteriously got shorter when I got in them.
These days dogs like me and babies coo at me, moms have this nice daughter I should meet and etc. Gag. Goodbye, street cred. It’s amazing what haircuts, new clothes and a few years of getting a decent night’s sleep can do to a guy.
I can still do the ‘scary’ though, and I can do that thing where in a crowded room full of chairs, the seats to the immediate right and left of me will be the last ones filled. Very handy in court and on airplanes.
God no. In high school, a freiend took me shopping. She had me try on leather vests pants and the like. Still, with my face, I couldn’t pull off the tough look. Same thing with cowboy hats and western wear; I can’t pull off the look.
Same thing when I’m walking down the street. Not many people will ever move over for me; it’s as if I send out a signal that screams “beta male.” I’ve unintentionally body-slammed some people lately because increasingly, I refuse to step out of the path of others; I’m tired of being the one who always has to get out of the way.
Still, being an older Gen-Xer and still single … in the neighborhood where I used to rent, a couple of neighbors suspected that I was a possible child molester. Why? Well, I lived alone. That was it. I was scary because I was single. Never mind that I bought women home, was relatively social and NOT one of those “He’s so quiet! I would have never suspected he had bodies stacked up in the basement like cordwood!” guys, and don’t otherwise exude a creepy vibe. I never had that happen to me elsewhere.
Personally, I think I’m a big ol’ cuddly teddybear. Like others have said, animals and kids like me. However, I’m told I have “The Look.” “The Look” is what my brothers, sister and I called our father’s, don’t give me that bs look. I don’t think I do, but my sister and brothers assure me I do. At work, I’m seen as kind of a hard ass because I expect people to do their stuff and do it on time. Now, I’m reasonable, mind you. If something isn’t done on time and you can give me a reasonable excuse as to why, and a reasonable time frame in which I can expect it to get done, I’m good. Hell, you can just about tell me “the dog ate it” and get away with it, as long as you get stuff into me when you say you can. Of course, if there is a hard deadline, I expect it to be met. Even then, I can take into account extinuating circumstances, because sometimes things can’t be helped. See, I’m nice, dammit!
