I’ve got a conundrum and the thing is that I’m only aware of it when someone tells me that I’m manifesting it.
People tell me that I have an aura about me that’s menacing and, according to them, frightening if people don’t know me. This really bothers me since I don’t see myself in that way and if I do notice that my mood’s going then I overreact in divesting myself of any situation where people can think of me as a bomb waiting to go off.
I’m not even that big, six two and two hundred and eighty pounds. I see lots of folks who are bigger than me. Does anyone else have a problem like this? If so, how do you deal with it.
I do, but probably not as extreme as you. For some reason people tend to think I’m pissed off when I’m not; I guess I must have an angry look on my face when I don’t realize it.
I sympathize with both of you. I have a ‘dark’ aura about me.
That is–people who are averse to ‘dark’ things tend to be frightened upon first seeing me. Those that are also dark tend to become very attracted to me.
I’ve been told that the aura is powerful in that regard–that I have a very demanding appearance, one that draws more attention on first look than other folks. I suppose it’s true. I’ve been noticing these days that I get about as many people avoiding me as there are people who develop crushes on me. I’m not sure I understand it all either, but it’s difficult to deal with, sometimes.
I’m not sure how many of you are spiritual, but I want to be a doctor–a great ‘healer’, if you will. It’s difficult to feel positive about that when I have one person tell me, in his own words, that he sensed a ‘profound darkness’ when he tried to look deeper into my soul. Even my ex-boyfriend admitted to me on inquiry that unless I’m trying really hard to suppress it, I just -look- kinda menacing. 
I’ve never wanted to hurt a single soul!
My husband can be scary, and he’s not all that big. He’s about 5’10", bear-like, with a full beard that’s almost all white. What throws people off is the crease between his eyebrows - it looks like a permanent scowl. When he’s ticked off, it’s even deeper, but even when he’s relaxed, he looks angry. If I didn’t know better, I’d be leery of him sometimes.
For some reason, tho, little kids seem to like him. He’ll make faces at them and they giggle or turn away then turn back. They know. They know…
I’m not as big as you (6’1", 200) but a few years ago I went through something somewhat similar. It wasn’t that other people were perceiving me as a threat, but that I was deathly afraid of being perceived as a threat. I became withdrawn, soft-spoken, and always painfully aware of whether I was in a situation that might give someone reason to fear me.
I overreacted, and I’m still a low talker. I make an effort not to tower over someone, I’ll defer to other people, and even though I rationally know that I’m not all that imposing and threatening … I very nearly could have been, once, and it’s permanently affected me.
Such a cheerful post, neh?
I’m 6’4", but only 180. Not that big, really, but apparantly the way I move can be menacing. I move very, very, very slowly, in every way. Seems it makes me look as though I’m doing things deliberatly, as though I’m looking for something, which makes people nervous. Add to that my very sensitive eyes, which means I’m always squinting and have a furrowed brow, and it means that I’m wandering around, appearing very much as if I’m looking very hard for something I’m very mad at. I don’t worry too much about it though. If someone I’m walking behind looks like they’re getting too nervous, I’ll either slow down or speed up so I don’t look like I’m tailing them. Other than that, eh. Who cares.
An ex-g/f said that I looked “intimidating”. Me! Hahahahaha!
I am a woman who stands six feet tall. Most woman and some men find me intimidating. I usually only date men that are the same or taller than me. My ex stands at six feet seven inches tall. He couldn’t hurt a fly if he wanted to. He had a zillion friends and I think mostly because of this size. Yes he was a nice guy, but I asked him once. Why is it that everybody likes you? He replied “because I am a big guy, people feel safe around big guys”. It didn’t make sense to me until everywhere we went together people would smile, wave, and say hello.
heptapod, are you a Virgo? Where you born in September or late August. The only big guys that have ever intimidated me were all born in September and or late August. Those guys just look too serious and some people read into their facial expressions as them being jerks.
Anyways…that’s my nickel and a half.
Interesting.
My husband is a big man with a scowling forehead. He is a Virgo, born September 10th. After being with him for almost 8 years, I sometimes still have to ask if he’s mad or not.
I call it the “Lurch Effect”. I’m told I can be a little intimidating because of my (permanent) scowl. This is hilarious to me, because although I’m 6’3", I’m only 150 pounds - how in the hell can I look scary being this skinny?!? Is there something in my nostrils that’s frightening people? Fangs, or eyeballs, or something?
BTW, I was born Sept 4th.
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- Maybe it’s those two rusty machetes you always carry around.
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I’m big, 6’3" ~320 lbs, but I’ve never been described as threatening.
I’ve got glasses, beard, and thinning hair - I’ve been described as a 6-foot koala bear. It’s a shame, really, I’ve spent my life being a “nice guy” - you know, “You’re so Nice.”
Just once, I’d like to be a little (queue Goerge Thorogood) B-B-B-Bad to the bone but I just can’t seem to manage that…
-B
Can’t help with the “aura” thing, but have you scowlers out there considered Botox? Might be worth a try (although it is kinda pricy I think).
It’s a Virgo thing, I tell ya. My dad and I are both Virgo’s. It seems to me that we always get “are you mad” comments. When really we are just thinking hard to ourselves about something.
He was born September 11th… bummer huh
I was born September 17th.
I really think I am correct on this whole Virgo thing.
Hate to bust your theory, but I’m a big guy (6’-2", 230) and am frequently seen as unapproachable or in a bad mood, but I’m an early Cancer (June 22nd).
I don’t really think of myself as having a scowl, but when I’m not actively engaged in talking to someone, I’m usually off in my own little fantasy world (where the streets are paved with chocolate). I guess my face just goes blank, which for those off us who are aesthetically-challenged, comes off as cranky.
Only one aspect of my natal chart has anything to do with Virgo and that’s Pluto. I’m a Sagittarius with the “important” planets, like Saturn, Jupiter and Mars, being in Scorpio.
I have the same problem. If I’m just sitting around thinking quietly or trying to keep a low profile people start thinking I’m seriously pissed.
What makes me wonder why people think I’m pissed or brooding darkly is the fact when I am seriously angry and there’s a need to be menacing it only garners laughter.
Hey Duck, Cancers rule the world!
Well, for all you big guys, I think your problem could be worse. Trust me. I’m a mid-sized guy - 5’8", 150 lbs. I have the same problem with the unintentional scowl, but people’s reaction to it is much different. Since I’m not a huge guy, people are clearly not intimidated by me. Thus, my critical face gives people the impression that I’m a jerk, or arrogant, or unfriendly.
Personally, I’d rather be menacing. At least there is a twisted sort of respect that follows menace. Nobody likes a jerk, however.
BTW, I’m really a nice guy!! I promise!! I can’t help it if I don’t smile all the time!!
I feel ya, Belrix. I’m about 6’5", 240 lb, in good shape, plenty strong and broad-shouldered – because of my build, everyone always asks whether I played football in college.
But from all accounts, I rarely intimidate people, and I ascribe it mainly to the way I look. I’ve got the boy-next-door look, and apparently I look so honest and trustworthy that everywhere I go, I get asked directions and people always assume I work wherever I am! I swear, I could get dropped in the middle of a jungle in Nairobi, and the first native I run into would ask, “Excuse me, can you point me the way to I-94?” Sheesh.