Are you younger than your SO? Did you know ages before it got serious?Did it matter?
When I was first dating, an girl that turned out to be older than me (even by a couple of months) became instantly less attractive. Unless it was a full year ahead in school, in which case I assumed they were unavailable.
I don’t think that way now of course, and usually haven’t even found out ages on first dates.
When I first met my SO he lied to me about his age. He left out his last three birthdays. His explanation was that I looked so young he was afraid that I might not be interested in talking to him if he didn’t remove a few years. He is eight years older then me.
The age difference didn’t matter to me and neither did the lie. It was kind of cute to see how nervous he was about it. To his credit he did tell me the truth before the relationship because serious.
I don’t think that a reasonable age difference matters once both parties are adults. Reasonable means different things to different people.
YES
YES
NOPE
You really matter if there is a few months difference in age?
When I was younger I thought couples should be the exact same age. It even made me uncomfortable (when I was very young) that my mom is a month older than my dad.
As an adult, it’s very different. And I’m talking both people being adults, not one being 38 and one being 21. I don’t entirely consider 21 to be an adult, not when you’re talking about a relationship.
I was a little uncomfortable the first time I got serious about a younger man. He was three years younger. But I got over the age difference thing, and my husband is six years younger than I am. We knew each other’s ages, and we were/are both well into adulthood.
Well, I’m an entire week younger than Mrs. Dave-Guy, but I don’t think that’s what you mean.
Significant age differences can be an issue. If one person is 40, and the other is 20, they have such disparate experiences and possibly attitudes, it may cause problems. Not to mention the children (if any). Someone whose mother is 35 and whose father is 53 is likely going to have to cope with the loss of a parent at a very young age. That could be devastating.
Yes. By sixteen years.
Um, define “serious.” And “ages.” But the answer is probably no.
No. I guess I don’t see why it should matter – consenting adults and all – although DAVEW0071’s point about kids is well taken, and I do wish he’d give up smoking before it’s too late.
I’m a year younger than Gunslinger, we knew beforehand, it doesn’t matter.
The only time age has mattered to me was once when I was 16 and a guy asked me out, who turned out to be 21. My friends were all saying things like “Dude, he could buy us beer!” I said “If he’s 21 -that’s the age of a college junior- and dating high school sophomores, he’s got problems, IMHO.”
Ah yes, the differences-in-ages thing.
I’ve heard of a rule: that your partner(s) should be no younger than half your age plus seven years*. Thus, by this rule, it would be a bad idea for, say, a 38-year-old to go out with anyone younger than 26; I’m not sure offhand how that translates mathematicaly for younger-to-older.
This rule feels like a good approximation for English-speaking North America (I make no claims for other cultures) that would take into account cultural differences relating to age bracket, differences in lifespan, relationships with older/younger cohorts of relatives, and so on.
Of course an actual working relationship is perfectly capable of ignoring this rule.
Theoretically, I feel that it shouldn’t make a difference, as long as eveyone concerned is sufficiently mature.
Practically… my last girlfriend was 11 years younger than me. The relationship ended for other reassons, but the age difference definitely put a strain on things. Meeting her father was… interesting. And I’m not going into details.
YMWDV**.
[sup]*After some of the threads around here, I’ve learned to make no assumptions as to number or gender of partners…
**Your Mileage Will Definitely Vary.[/sup]
I’m 29, my girlfriend’s 41, and has two teenaged kids. We’ve been together for over three years and have lived together since January. We almost never notice our age difference (except, for example, when she tells me what she was doing in 1979 and I tell her I was in second grade, and then it’s just funny). I knew her age when we started dating, but I had met her several months before that, and I thought she was around my age.
I’m younger than Pepper Mill.
By ten days.
I’ve always been slightly younger than the people I dated. It never meant anything. Remember what Ben Franklin said.
I’m 31, Mr. Athena is 44. I’m with CalMeacham - the only time the age difference pops up is when he talks about graduating high school in 1975 and I say “Hey! That’s the year I started Kindergarten!”
I sometimes worry about it if/when we have kids, but seeing as I’ve waited so long, my kid is already doomed to old parents. That’s his or her problem, IMO. They’ll deal with it.
I’m 29 and my husband is 40. We’ve been together since I was 22 (!) and he was 33. So, we’re 10 1/2 years apart. I don’t think it harms our relationship at all. He’s the oldest and has 2 sisters, so I am closer in age to them. I’m the youngest of five, so he is closer in age to my older brothers and sisters. And my mom is actually 2 years older than his dad. Our families all get along great.
As with all relationships, it really just depends on the people involved.
I’m all of 20 days younger than my girlfriend. But she says she won’t touch me for the 20 days that she’s 18 and I’m 17.
It’s gonna be a long 20 days…
I am five years younger than my husband.
We knew before it got serious.
It didn’t matter. Maybe because we were both in our thirties. It almost wigged me out that he was older than my sister, because I’d always thought of her and her peers as too old to be in my social circle or dating circle. But that too was silly–wasn’t really true once high school was over.
I’m 8 years older than my SO, so according to formula, half of 38 is 19 plus 7 is 26. 26! He’s an old guy of 31! You mean I could have a guilt-free 5 year margin! Why didn’t anyone tell me this before I went and fell in love with this old guy! But wait. He could have a 22 year old. Never mind.
I think the percentage is more important than the calendar years. The five year difference between 15 and 20 is frickin’ huge, but the difference between 30 and 35 is almost unnoticeable and gets smaller the older you are.
I mean, I dated a man who was 6 years younger than me, but we were 28/22 at the time. It had its moments of weird, but he was very mature. I certainly would never have dated a 14 year old when I was 20. I consider +/- 4 years of my own age to be ideal, but I wouldn’t refuse a good man on that metric alone.
But, as with all things, the real differences depend on the people involved. I don’t date people lots younger than me just because I don’t want t have to be the grown-up all the time.
I’m eight years older than my BF, who does indeed look his age.
When we first met, BF refused to believe that I was over 18. In fact, he made me pull out my ID.
I do look a good deal younger than my age, and I’m not being vain, I’m being truthful. People assume I’m still in high school or early college years when I’m in casual clothes.
At first, I didn’t want BF to know how old I was, but I didn’t want to lie to him either, so we got that right out of the way first thing. It also helped assuage his fears of being slapped with a statutory rape charge (I am not kidding).
We’ve been together over a year now, and so far the age difference hasn’t mattered.
People still look at him when we’re out together like he’s some kind of perv, though! 
While I’m a few years short of 40, and she’s not quite 20, the numbers here are pretty close to me and my fiancee. Our experiences are vastly different, but this matters not at all (indeed, we both find it a source of refreshment) as our attitudes and value systems match up quite well.
Starting a family at 40 is actually a better choice for me than it would have been at 25. I’m much more centered and stable, and will be a better father for it. Our youngest will probably be coming of age when I’m in my sixties, so our children have no great expectation of losing a parent as a young child.
To answer the OP: We both knew, and it doesn’t matter, well, except that she prefers older men.
Mine is 5 years younger. Yes, we were well aware of the difference in ages. So far, it hasn’t mattered that much. Once in a while, I’ll feel old, but not often to mean anything.
Robin
That may be more important than numbers… 