I’m so sloppy I can find my drugs . 
Should that be
??
I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.
I am a junkie, my kids are junkies, even my gasp MIL is a junkie.
What will I do, I have even passed all my military ‘operation golden flow’ tests. You mean, they are all wrong, maybe I should let the government know.
Hand me that wrench. No, the one that looks like a hammer.
Sig Courtesy of Walley
When I was a senior in HS, the freshmen Goth kids had taken to putting red eye shadow around their eyes. I finally blew up one day in the lobby: “What, they lack the BALLS to become real heroin addicts, but the whole smack-chic thing really appeals to them, so they freakin’ wear MAKE-UP to look like herion addicts? God, if you lack the conviction to become a real drug user, don’t try and pull off the look!”
Freshmen feared me. 
Come to think of it, a lot of people feared me. HAH!
Ps: Mood swings wasn’t one of the symptoms, I forgot to write them down. But Unexplained fatigue was on there, as well as insomnia.
This reminds me of a psychology experiment I read about in college.
Graduate students went to mental health institutions and asked to be checked in. The only symptom they reported was “I hear voices.” After getting in, they stopped “hearing voices” and acted perfectly normal in every way. Some were soon released, but several were held for days, even weeks, as the shrinks attributed various symptoms of mental illness to them.
In one case, the doctor observed the “patient” engaging in such inappropriate behaviors as “note-taking.” The doctor, of course, was taking notes of this bizarre activity.
This was in the 60’s. These days, the pendulum has swung to the opposite extreme. They generally hold folks for 24 hours and you gotta be outrageously whacko to be held any longer. It’s actually quite difficult to get committed, which is part of the reason for the increase in the homeless population.
Oh, and one more thing:
I can back up the above folks who’ve seen these lists of “tell-tale signs” of drug abuse.
I distinctly remember one of these pamphlets in the late 70s. Among the symptoms:
change in appetite
change in sleeping patterns
change in appearance
moodiness
different friends
sloppiness
I remember thinking:
“This is a description of adolescence.”
Gee, I’m tidy, I don’t leave stuff lying around, I’m not particularly moody, my appearance hasn’t changed much in the last year, and I have a normal appetite.
I guess I must never do drugs! 
Your Quadell