I just want to say something: I have been thinking a lot about this. It was a terrible mistake, done in a hasty moment of indignation and without enough thought as to the consequences. I really regret ever having done it.
It means you have no business trying to lecture anybody about parenting.
No. “working with teenagers” does not give you any perspective on parenting. I worked with children before I was a parent. It didn’t teach me shit about parenting.
I think you should make an effort to understand and acknowledge that this book is actual, literal pornogarphy. It’s not just daring or “edgy” or “adult.” It’s the most extreme, graphic, darkest most vile and violent kind of pornography imaginable. It is in no way appropriate to recommend it to a 13 year old, and it’s ridiculous for you to get sanctimonious and scold a parent for saying he would assume that a stranger privately contact his child on the internet and trying to get him to read pedophile rape porn would suspect a sexual motive.
As a parent, you assume those kinds of motives from strangers on the internet the way you always assume a gun is loaded. You have to. It’s irresponsible not to.
I don’t think many, if any of us, think AT was trying to groom the kid, but we’re trying to make him aware that it could sure look that way to this kid’s parents, especially when he pressed the issue after the kid said his parents wouldn’t want him to read it
Yes, that’s what everyone here is saying.
Thank you for saying this.
I think I’ve permanently shot my credibility to hell, and will be voluntarily leaving the board indefinitely. I wish there was a way to remove your account, but there isn’t.
What the crap is going on around here lately??!
innocently About what do do inquire?
I wouldn’t go that far. I’d say you fucked up and got called on it. You don’t have to go anywhere. Learn from the mistake and don’t repeat it.
It’s a freaking free for all because the mods are busy policing language while the jerks dance around the ever expanding, hair splitting rules. So instead we all get subjected to this crap going on and on, seemingly endlessly, only to have it finally end exactly as the community asked from the jump. We have all watched helplessly as it has unfolded before our very eyes three times in the last month or so.
We need better moderation and we needed it, like yesterday.
I say use the hammer, quit dragging everything out like this. It’s painful to watch.
You don’t have to go that far. You learned a lesson. It happens. You’re young yet. You will make plenty more mistakes.
You’ll get over it.
I don’t need to remember being 13. I raised two sons through that age. My comment is based on my own experience with them, seeing their friends and seeing the kids of other parents we know.
Perhaps I should have said many or most, but my basic point is still correct, in my experience.
Relax, Grasshopper.
Was this really dragged out? It took less than 4 hours from the posting of the OP to the warning from Ed.
I don’t think a ban is warranted in this case. I think AT realizes his fuckup and acknowledges it, which is mostly what people wanted.
No, but that’s how I read elbows’ post, which was the one being replied to.
What a load of horseshit. The smarmy self-righteous sect wins again.
Of course now the only logical step is to ensure I never have any form of contact with Curtis LeMay, so as to ensure I never say or imply anything that might be construed as offensive to children.
Could we also have ages displayed in all posts, so that we don’t respond inappropriately to somebody who may or more likely may not be a minor?
The SDMB, kiddy friendly for all the internet.
Sorry to see you go Agent foxtrot. Even if you are grooming children as sex slaves (cos they implied so :rolleyes:)
Wow. Who knew that words could have such a powerful effect?
Bollocks. AT said over and over that he fucked up, but it wasnt enough. What you people wanted was a lynching. Well done. Fuck this place.
No one has said anything about anything posted on the boards. Fucking learn how to read.
And, I could add, you might want to consider thanking the community here for giving you a minor spanking when in other places you could have gotten yourself some extremely uncomfortable time dealing with authorities who have the power to end your life as you know it.
I was a 13 year old, raised two kids through adolescence and now have a 13 year old grandchild and I can categorically state that whatever rules were in place for any of us regarding inappropriate contact with a minor at that time are infinitely more draconian now. Whether this is “right” or “wrong” is immaterial–it IS and anyone who decides to step over the lines is opening themselves up for a world of hurt.
I don’t think they wanted a lynching. I don’t even think they responded out of line. This is my fault and mine alone; I brought it on myself. I don’t blame them at all, actually.
I don’t think one person asked for a ban. I didn’t ask for anything at all. I do think it was stupid for anyone to try to deny that recommending porn to a minor via PM was incredibly bad judgement. I’m actually more annoyed with AT’s sanctimonious defenders than I am with AT.