Jack Dean Taylor is a crossbreed between Jack Dean Tyler and Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Truly an example of why recombinant DNA experiments need to be halted NOW.
I just wanna say, lame flame or not Arnolds “Warning” post was one of the funniest I have ever read on these boards and I’m bookmarking it for future inspiration. That is all.
Has the public’s taste been permanently dulled by the over-broad humour and witless slapstick that pervades today’s television and movie offerings? With one deft stroke of the finely-honed edge of a dagger, one can accomplish much more than with twenty blows from a cudgel. To prove my point, one need only witness Number Six’s discomfiture.
(on the way out, casually knocks some sense into Beeblebrox by banging his two heads together, and steals Jester’s forgotten fifth of Jack Daniels.)
:eyes wide, tisiphone backs away:
Magnificent! Spare, yet to the point. The venom, the condescension, the elegance…I am in awe.
Hey, you bring that back here! Just because your a mod, what gives you the right to take away our alcohol?
/muttering/ Some nerve, acting like he’s important around here or something! Some peoples children. /muttering/
Damn it. I hate getting to the party late. I just get to this thread, and what do I find?
Empty lawn chairs, a bottle of Jim Beam with nothing but fumes, and scorched earth with jackboot prints.
That’s it. I’m spending the rest of the afternoon in a huff. Or a maybe a tizzy, or even a snit. And I’m blaming Arnold.
Dang, that shoe polish was my favorite color too.
[hijack]
Arnold, you coming to Dopetoberfest???
[/hijack]
Arnold…you are goood.
I guess we’ll have to introduce Number Seven now that Number Six has been improperly disposed of by Arnold.
Goddammit, Mr. Winkelried, sir, you use your tongue purdier than a twenny dollar whore!
Fenris Taggart
Arnold my friend, whatever it is you do to pay the bills . . . I hope you get paid by the word. If that was the case I think you would be a millionaire by now.
Poetic, truly poetic.
Um. Yeah. I guess. I dunno. Whatever. What’s on TV?
Lisa: But Dad, we’re the MTV generation. We expierience neither highs nor lows.
Homer: Really? What’s it like?
Lisa: Eh.
::Cautiously, Jester peers through a hole in the bushes to see if the coast is clear. Satisfied that Arnold is off doing bigger, better, more mod-related things, he walks back to his lawn chair and plops down next to Kricket
Well, now that he’s gone, I can finally say it. The remark that I had been hiding for so long. The remark that I wouldn’t even think of saying to his face.
<ahem>
That flame…was slightly under par.
There. I said it. No taking it back now.
And there’s nothing, NOTHING he can do about it! You hear that, Winklemod? You can’t do ANYTHING to hurt me, cause you ain’t even HERE! HAH!
Now pass me the Jack Daniels, darling Kricket.
:eek:
He did WHAT?!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Even when absent, he finds a way to avenge himself!
Jester collapses in a broken heap, realizing once and for all that you just shouldn’t screw with the mods. There’s a life metaphor in there somewhere, but I’m a bit too tired to find it
all that time reading, anticipating a flame that even leixcon would have been proud of (where have you been lexi?) and all I get is one line? one lousy line? come one here! I’ve heard preschoolers rip into one another worse than that…I am sincerely disappointed.
<picks up his lawn chair and bottle of chimay to go watch another flame>
Oh! somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Straight Dope land - Arnold has wussed out.
BAH!
do not insult the flame!
for, using this tiny, miniscule flame we might light the very Torch of the Gods!
or this Beer Bottle Filled With Gasoline, which i will now throw at the stage.
<FOOM!>
<Burn, Burn, Burn>
WH00!
well, wasnt THAT an educational use for my 200’th post.