i read here alot but i dont ofter/never post, dont normally have anything THAT interesting to say that hasnt been said…
BUT.
this morning i was having a great time! i got up feeling better than i have been for ages as i am getting over a cold. I came downstairs and find that my girlfriend that is currently in Auz, had sent me an easter egg which really did make my day!!!
so there i was, walking round with a little more spring in my step i go into a shop to get myself a little breakfast on walking in i hold open the door for 3 people… none of whom said “thankyou”. i live in london this is common…
i order my breakfast, pay and walk out. On doing so i hold the door open again for 2 more people as they are close behind me. one of them is one of the people that didnt say thank you the first time. they didnt even look up at me… they just walked out and walked off.
to be honest nothing was going to piss on my day…but at that moment in time i wanted to pull out a large stick from somewhere and beat that person into saying “thank you”.
now call me old im 23 but when i was growing up i was taught to say please and thank you.
i didnt think it took that much effort to say! oh well
even though i wont often get a thank you, im always going to hold open the door…
Tone
p.s when i have kids im going to tell them that if the DONT say “thank you” or “please” that the person they are ignornig MAY have a large stick and MAY beat them untill they say the missing word
I held a door open for a colleague recently, she said nothing.
I said, “You’re welcome!”
She spun round and snapped, “I said Thank you.”
And I said, “And I said, You’re welcome.”
Laugh? I nearly did. The look on her face as she realised the rediculousness of her position made it all worthwhile.
(Aw, a post with a happy ending.)
That’s one of my giant pet peeves, along with letting someone in front of me on the road and not getting the ‘wave of acknowledgment’. It’s funny, the South is supposed to perpetuate better manners, but I got more ‘thank yous’ for holding the door open for people when I lived in NYC as compared to here. I was raised to be polite. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that one gets a thank you for a nice gesture.
If you are going to get mad when people don’t thank you for holding the door open for them, then don’t hold the door open for them. If you are doing it out of the kindness of your heart, it shouldn’t matter if they thank you for it.
I don’t know…
Saying “you’re welcome” to someone because they didn’t say thank you is just as rude as not saying thank you.
At what point does it become our responsibility to teach someone to be polite? I am not sure it is ever reasonable to try and teach an adult you do not know to be polite.
Bippy
Sorry, Bippy, i can’t agree with you here. It’s not so much a matter of responsibility as it is a matter of getting pissed off that assholes won’t even acknowledge your existence when you do something nice for them.
And the reason i like saying it the same reason given in The Great Unwashed’s post - if the person did say thankyou and you just happened not to hear them, then saying “you’re welcome” will not seem at all inappropriate. On the other hand, if they didn’t say thankyou they have one of two options. They can snap at you the way that The Great Unwashed’s protagonist did, thus making an ass of themselves. Or they can just accept that they’ve been an asshole and go on their merry way.
I don’t think there’s any need to say it in a voice dripping with sarcasm. A simple, polite “you’re welcome” is all that’s necessary, as it tends to disarm people.
The “Wave of acknowledgement” is a must, it pisses me off when I don’t get it. Did you think you were entitled?
I hold open doors all the time, the reaction I get sometimes is a person beeing leary or looking at me as if I’m strange. Have you never had a door opened for you? Occasionaly I’ll get a guy that’s offended. Earlier this year I held the door open for a middle-aged man that was no more than 5 feet behind me. He actually deviated from his straight line so he could push open the other door. I was shocked, and I let an audible “HAH” out. I also had one tough looking woman call me a chauvanist. sheesh It’s called manners.
Displaying manners with strangers in public is very important, I think, and it bothers me when they don’t reciprocate.
I was at a pizze parlor yesterday and when the gent next to me pointed at my side, I saw that I was blocking the napkins. I said, “Oh, I’m sorry.” and stepped back so he could get at them. (note - I thought of just handing them to him, but I didn’t know how many he wanted and I didn’t want to get my own hand-germs on them)
I also held open a door for a guy at the theatre - I wasn’t sure wich way the exit was, so instead of wandering around like a fool I looked around as I held the door while he caught up to me. He thanked me.
What is so wrong with this? Nuttin’. Some people are just jerks. And it seems most of them are in London.
I don’t look for the “Wave of acknowledgement”, nor do I often give one. It takes time that could have been moving to give one, and it takes one’s hands off the wheel.
Personally, I’m happier when i don’t get one when I let someone in, as it tends to slow them down. I only give one when I am turning left and someone is letting me in, AND there is a big backup behind the person*, and there is no opposing traffic in the near lane which I need to pay attention to. And even then, sometimes I don’t. But note that I’m not hypocritical.
*I would usually prefer to NOT get let in in situations where there are only a handful of cars behind the letting-in car, since the time taken for me to be absolutely sure the person is letting me in could have been used in clearing the other cars through, thus giving me an unobstructed, and therefore safer, road.
i go into a shop to get myself a little breakfast on walking in i hold open the door for 3 people… none of whom said “thankyou”. i live in london this is common…
