Yes, I know: “If you don’t like the SDMB, then why are you posting YET AGAIN, you [insert: “asshole,” “newbie,” “cantankerous lout,” &c.]?”
I have read through this thread and have been at times impressed, amazed, disappointed, and intrigued. I found the extent and number of responses very interesting. Currently, I feel that some sort of response on my part is necessary.
First, let me say that anyone who had read any of my 20-odd posts would know that I am not what you consider a “troll.” For the most part, I have offered advice and experience in the GQ and CS when I felt that it was mine to offer, whether it was regarding astro’s daughter’s desire to be a DJ, a question about automobiles, or a query into the performers of the song “If You See Kay.” Perhaps a few posts were frivolous as well. The rest of the time I have been reading. I think you consider such activity to be “lurking,” and perhaps you frown upon it. I think conversations are for listening as much as for participating, and I don’t like to open my yap unless it’s called for.
I had read through the SDMB quite a bit before I became a member. I know some of you think that what you write is of such a profound nature that it would be difficult to comprehend it swiftly. On the contrary, I read through a number of threads during my first visit. Even more my second, third, etc, etc. I do feel that I have gained insight into what occurs on this board. I will definitely admit that there are a number of intelligent and eloquent members here, but quite a few of the reactions to my post – many by those who seem to be “popular” members, such as Fenris – only seemed to prove my arguments of an insular, self-involved community (or at least members thereof).
Fenris, congratulations. You have come close to being the first person to nearly offend me on this board. The SDMB is nowhere near on par with a Jewish community center, and my actions were not akin to making derisive comments towards a culture which has existed for over thousands of years. Perhaps you regret the analogy, but if that comparison isn’t a prime example of self-importance, then I’m wasting my money paying off these college loans – I certainly didn’t learn anything there. Your argument goes hand in hand with the tired, “You’re a newbie who posted 20 times. Shut up.”
Am I a new member to the SDMB? Of course. But I am not at all new to the Straight Dope or to the quest for knowledge. I am not new to intellectual debates. I am not new to excited, yet mundane, conversations about “Mr. Show” or such. I am not new to the world or to the many cultures therein. When I say that I do not care about your etiquette or jargon, my point is that the “culture” of internet conversations has created it’s own insular conventions that, if not abided by, result in lashings by some. It is not as if I entered a Star Wars appreciation board and said, “I don’t like sci-fi and fantasy and I’ve never seen Star Wars, but you guys are a bunch of geeks and you need to go play some football and listen to Foghat.” This is the STRAIGHT DOPE message board, so forgive me if I hold it to my standards of what the Straight Dope is – which, I have said ad nauseam, is based on what I feel is extensive study of the Straight Dope oeuvre.
Personally, I have not been attacked – previously – on this board, and I did not feel that anyone had hurt my feelings by not responding to a thread I started or such. I was not thrashing out because of a personal attack upon me. I was commenting on what I saw happening among people who are supposed to be better than all this.
If I had studied ancient Greek civilization for 15+ years and stumbled upon “Gary’s Goin’ Greek Fantasyland” and found it sub par to everything I has learned, I would – IMHO – have the authority to say, “I think what some of you are doing is wrong and out of touch with what I have learned about Greek civilization throughout my years.” Along the same lines, I must address the concept of “If you don’t like it leave” or “If you made fun of my party, you’d be RUDE RUDE RUDE!” I am the type of person who does make a point of expressing discontent before I leave. It is the only way anyone will ever know why you left, get it? If you leave quietly, then you allow that establishment to continue believing that all is well in their domain. If I receive poor service from a company, I tell the manager/supervisor/owner. It’s not my duty to tell him/her how to fix it, but they need to be aware that someone has left dissatisfied. I think anyone who doesn’t let such thoughts known is doing an inconvenience to the rest of us. “Don’t let the door hit ya on the ass” is just a protective way of saying, “Hey, c’mon, we’re good enough, we’re smart enough. And doggone it, people like us.” Check out the thread on poor Sprint service to see how your members feel when they get a lackluster response from a company which obviously feels that “Hey, we’ve got enough customers that don’t waste our time by bitching, so hey, don’t let the door hit ya on the ass.”
And yes, if I went to a party and there were eight different rooms with people engaged in a variety of conversations which were held in a manner such as some of these threads are, I would definitely voice my concern before I left. And you should do so to. You can be calm and intelligent and say, “I am leaving because I don’t like the manner in which your friends talk to each other and especially how they treat the new people.” Jodi, you can’t just vote with your feet, otherwise people will just think you left because your tummy hurt.
I appreciate Libertarian’s standing up for me. I probably wouldn’t have posted a whole new thread if I had known of his. Of course, I am not so self-involved as to believe that anyone would have started a thread in defense of my little self. As for Lynn, my problem is that in my original thread, she offered to move it to the Pit. That would have been fine by me. Suddenly, she decided to close it, as an “example.” Impaling the heads of the conquered and placing them around the castle, eh? Many mods seem to simply say, “Feel free to start this discussion again in [GD, CS, Pit, &c.].” Lynn made, in my opinion, an extreme statement, one that seemed to augment my concerns.
Am I occasionally an impulsive person? Sure. I saw what some members and mods were doing (Uncle Beer needs to seriously think before he writes, from the few angry, vulgar posts I’ve seen so far) and leveled blame across the whole board. I consider myself computer savvy – like people 1/3 my age, I have established a few web sites of my own, performed research, corresponded with others, etc etc. But the insular conventions of some netizens astounds me, and I cannot imagine these people attempting to abide by these rules in real world interactions.
That said, perhaps I will accept the invitations offered to me by some of you. Perhaps I will stop by occasionally, do what I was doing – post when necessary, try to be intelligent and eloquent – and ignore all of the rest. To be sure, I didn’t come here to make friends or join a “community” per se – no offense, but I have friends outside of the computer. I just want to learn more, and even in my years to date, I cannot say I know everything. I came here to extract knowledge, to build upon what I believe is an already pretty damn good foundation of a human being. Perhaps I was just disappointed that not everyone here seemed to want that. Forgive me if I don’t tell you outright how funny your joke was or how cool your most recent post is. A lot of writers don’t get that kind of benefit anyway. I’m sure if I decide to continue posting, I’ll be stuck with the stigma of this thread. I’ve seen how some of you belittle the ones who annoy you (and no cites, you all know who you are and who gets attacked). That’s okay. Maybe I’ll pretend this is “Gary’s Goin’ Genius Message Board” and not at all affiliated with the Straight Dope. I still stand behind all that I said, but dammit, I want to fight ignorance too.
) discussion about the OP. In a similar thread, opened by a different poster, the same topic is met with negative, tiresome comments. Yes, each poster has history behind them, but it’s obvious that each post is not measured anew.
Well, at least I got a laugh out of this. How it must hurt you to have to admit you don’t know everything, despite your “years to date!” But at least you can comfort yourself with your obvious belief that you know almost everything.