Do you know how to ride a motorcycle?
Not allowed either, but I want to get married.
No but I am currently trying to pass my driving test. I failed twice already.
Here, this is specific.
It’s by a woman, but it seems appropriate for anyone.
At least three in the past week or so.
Nothing I haven’t read before, this is still basic. I dont think it’s possible to fake confidence because people will see right through your act. Real confidence comes from external positive validation while growing up, something which I never received.
It’s probably just a coincidence. This thread is authentic if that’s what you’re wondering.
Confidence is the belief in the success of your actions. You can signal or simulate confidence via not hedging your actions and taking choices that are unpleasant if you fail.
For example, “let’s get drinks” is more confident than “maybe, you know, if you want to, we could get something to drink…?” because it doesn’t include any acknowledgement of a possibility of failure.
Basic is what you need.
It is obviously possible to fake anything–it’s called acting. People will see through your act only if you are a bad actor.
There is no risk from trying. What’s the worst that can happen, you are mocked and laughed at? Smiling, standing up straight, etc. is not going to inspire any reasonable person to deride you and if unreasonable people deride you, their opinions are crap anyway.
Your opinion of yourself should not come from others. Lots of people liked Hitler in his day, but he still sucked.
I recommend an acting class, it may help you become more comfortable with people. Try a community college.
Why ask you? I know a 24 year old virgin whom I work with. I’d ask him but no need as it’s obvious.
He’s 420lbs. He’s also Ugly, shy, racist, doesn’t know how to treat women, anti gay, does nothing but sit and play video games, really loves anime way too much, is very lazy, doesn’t know much about the real world, lives at home with parents…any of that sound familiar?
I had to leave university due to unbearable social anxiety and depression.
What is your plan for fixing the problem? Not trying to sound critical at all, but just emphasizing the point that Newton’s Laws about physics sort of apply to relationships, too: if you don’t make significant changes, then you are not likely to see significant improvement.
Only the last one is familiar.
Are you Indian, by any chance?
I dont really have the means to make significant changes. I am pretty much isolated with zero friends. I only speak to my family and people whom I do work experience with.
No, I’m not indian.
Fair enough. I’ve already got walking upright cowered. I’m currently working on natural non-forced eye contact.
Are there any group activities that you enjoy (soccer, music, watching movies, tennis etc.)? Because that could be a great way to break out of isolation and get socially involved.
Another question: What advice would you give to another person if they were in your exact same 23-year-old-virgin situation?