Wicca is a cleverly packaged way of selling Devil worship to children. It starts with nude dancing under the moon and turns to blood sacrifices, sleeping in coffins and vampirism! Satan’s hoofprints are all over Wicca!
I TOLD YOU ONE OF THE RELIGIOUS BELIEFS IN WICCA IS YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT UNLESS IT HURTS SOMBODY. BLOOD SACRIFICES HURT! SO DOES SUCKING BLOOD!
Bob–
I’m still worried about the sin thing. Once I check the box, am I free from moral responsibility for my actions?
I know it worked for Ted Bundy, but I think I may be a better person than he.
Nog
Yes. In chickland, where god has no morals.
I don’t know…the way you describe Jesus he seems a lot different from the impression I got from the New Testament…
Bjork is Space Ghost’s wife. I think. I was drunk that episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast, and Zorak may have subliminally suggested it.
Besides, I’m from space, and I’m invisible, like a Ghost. Is that so wrong?
You know, Bob, I’m really starting to worry about bong. Is there something that we can do for him? If I check the box in bong’s name, will he get to go to Heaven?
So they don’t even follow their own doctrine! They SAY they won’t hurt anybody and then they SACRIFICE BABIES to their Satanic Moon Whore! Ignorance and hypocricy will not get you to Heaven!
God cares not a fig for your “morality!” God cares only that you check the Holy box! God would also appreciate it if you passed out some tracts, and maybe harangued a few burn vicims, but that’s really optional!
You Mock the Lord by pretending to be the Holy Ghost! You try to decieve the innocent!Did you die for your sins? Do you have a son?
[quoteTuckerfan
You know, Bob, I’m really starting to worry about bong. Is there something that we can do for him? If I check the box in bong’s name, will he get to go to Heaven?[/quote]
Sorry, *Tuckerfan, each man must check his own box! We can’t have people saving souls willy-nilly! There would be no one to burn in the fire!
bong, please don’t post that Wiccans do not, in fact, sacrifice babies. Please, I beg of you.
Good? That’s GREAT!! As you’ll recall, Opie was the son of a white, old-school southern sheriff. To coloured folks, a white old-school southern sheriff was like God, since, like God, the sheriff promised them fiery torture if they stepped out of line.
Therefore, being like Opie is like being the Son of God!
Pam Grier compared you to Jesus!!!
I knew it must have been a compliment! I am very flattered and humbled. I am glad that some coloreds still show the proper awe and gratitude for our righteous, Christian sheriffs!
Diogenes,
I had to register to tell you that the “Piccachu is Satan’s demon” line damn near killed me. If I hadn’t been at work, I truly would have laughed out loud. I couldn’t keep a straight face telling my sister about it later.
You are a genius!
Winter
You WANT people to be tortured for an eternity by a Cosmic Nazi? What kind of a vicious sadist are you, bob?
Well I’m convinced:
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What I’m not convinced of, however, is that bong has a real understanding of how true what you’re saying is, Bob…
What is it that you are convinced of?
What is true?
Any of his arguments can be usede for other things. If the guy who started the muslim religion is a power-hungry egomaniac, the guy who wrote the bible could have the same motive. Even though there is no proof of gluons, there is no proof of the existence of God besides a book that was wrote some millenia ago, by a person who may have just been a powerhungry egomaniac.
Does it even matter that something had no son? If god is omnipotent, he could save people in a way other than butchering his son. If jesus is god, why did he ask god why had he forsaken Him?
Yes, congratulations bong, you’ve scored a stunning theological victory against the parody voice of a character drawn by a deranged parody of a member of a religion. Go you! I understand that Libertarian is waiting in fear in Great Debates for you to show up and kick his ass next.
I pray to the God I don’t believe in that I’m being whooshed.
Dear Bob,
I appear to be having a problem with my temper lately. Since Jesus counsels turning the other cheek and God seems to favour the whole “plague of locusts, pillar of salt, kill all the firstborn” way of dealing with that kind of thing, I’m curious as to which you would recommend. I understand that I only have to check the box to be saved, but when I’m faced with a situation where I really feel that punching someone repeatedly would be at least as satisfying as ignoring them, which would Jesus want to see me do?
In chickland, He would like you to punch them repeatedly. Since jesus is god, and ChickGod is the Cosmic Nazi (Ba-Dum!) He would like it if you cut of their genitals and gave them anthrax.
Dear Bob,
Thanks for telling me that my dog will go to heaven! I better find a tract & check the box so I can join him, but I’ll sure miss my rockabilly.
Do you think bong is posessed? when people in the tracts put up the same kind of resistance to your ministrations, you usually cast a demon out of them and then they repent and beg for forgiveness. Maybe bong holds demons like a real bong holds marijuana smoke! Potheads use flame on a real bong, maybe that’s inidcative of the tortures awaiting our friend bong!
Won’t it be difficult to smoke pot in hell? I would guess that it would go up in smoke before you had a chance to raise it to your lips!
Is it true that the name “Harry Potter” is based on “hairy pothead”, revealing that the author is a strung-out hippie? That’s what my mom says, but she’s going to hell anyway because she’s a Mormon. I better check the box so I don’t have to spend eternity in a lake of fire with her. I love my mom & everything, but she drives me crazy with her preaching and emails for tech support.
Wait, you ARE being sarcastic, right?
No, I am a Christian. I just think that the Jack Chick/Bob entity is an intolerant jerk who cares nothing for human life, kills people of different religions for no reason, and hates anything that might give little timmy the buttcancer boy in a plastic tank who goes “Please sir, may I have some more?” a lot any shred of joy. And I want to see how he responds.
:rolleyes: