TN*hippie I just want to mention that what you have gone through with the trials and tribulations and the steps you have taken, when shared with others could mean a LOT to those facing the same situation. If you have a grip on yourself at this stage, you have the power to help change the lives of those that do not by example and by the ability to relate. I think that would be an amazing thing to be able to take the pain of years gone by and be able to use it to help others. Sure as hell not saying it would make it all worth it, but it might help 'eh?
Thanks TN*.
It does help…and it may be worth it.
In fact, it might all be worth it… to me, anyway.
I do not let an ordinary day go by unappreciated. Without this disease, I might have gone the rest of my life taking average days for granted. But now, my average days are blissful when compared to the hellish misery that used to be the daily norm. So I consider myself very fortunate.
My only regret of the past is the sorrow I’ve caused others.
Peace,
TN*hippie
Anybody compared you lately to fine bronze, all the more valuable and dear for cracks and signs of wear? * (Kwitcher blushin’ now; that’s what you remind me of.)
More serious question…I’ve lost too many folks I loved to addictions, and couldn’t help. Something had to make the difference, because I also met so many folks along the path who recovered, years clean and sober. Maybe I’m still too close to it or guilt ridden. Any ideas?**
Veb
- <sadistic grin> Make a limerick outta that one!
** Godawful huge and complex question but just seeking honest input from another walker-on-the-path.
Hmmmm…really tough question, and it’s late, to boot.
Why do most fail? That part is easy: because it is an addict’s natural state to be under the influence of his drug of choice. Thus, his primary drive keeps him addicted.
Why do some succeed? Much more complex. If a person endures enough harsh consequences early enough in the addiction, the adverse effects might outweigh the benefits and motivate him to quit. But not necessarily. Some people have a “spiritual experience” or a “moment of clarity” that does the trick…but they, too, can relapse. For me, alcohol stopped working. In other words, I had to drink…and suffer all the bad effects of drinking…but it was no longer fun or pleasant or numbing or anything it had ever been for me early on. All it did for me was keep me from going into DTs…and it took increasingly huge amounts just to do that. So I was killing myself with something that gave me zero pleasure and tons of pain. For me, the choice was suicide or sobriety. I’m not a quitter(pun intended:)), so I decided to give recovery another try.
I think every recovering addict will give a slightly different slant on how they do it. For some it’s the group, some their sponsor, some spirituality(with or without religion), the pleasure of living sober…or combinations of these and other things. The problem is that early sobriety(1 week to 3 years) feels as bad, or worse, than active addiction…so most folks give up and don’t get the chance to experience the long-term joy.
Remember: sobriety is an unnatural state for us, and it takes some getting used to.
Peace,
TN*hippie
Now I anticipate a question about relapse…like how could you do it after being clean&sober for 3 years? Another good question and perhaps even more complicated. Answers later.
I’m going to bed now!
Peace,
TN*hippie
Don’t mean to load you down with “thens” and “whys”. Some questions aren’t answerable in words! REAL answers are sound sleep and a clear head to meet the day on waking.
(The limerick challenge still stands, though. Flawed and tested are infinitely more beautiful than sterile plastic.)
If I think too hard, will my hair (or, if keeping in character to my name, fur) fall out? I want to know if I should be smart or beautiful (although likely outcome is neither.)
Hi TN*Hippie!
Sorry I didn’t respond earlier-- I’ve been swamped with work. I’m delighted that you’re doing well.
Here’s my question:
How old were you when you had your first drink?
My husband is a recovering alcoholic (clean and sober since 1985). He began drinking at age thirteen; he looked like an adult, and was able to buy his own booze early on.
When he was 21, he hit bottom while on a bender in Mexico. Suicide or sobriety. He chose sobriety, and managed to get his car home to California on gas fumes. He checked himself into a recovery house for three months, and became very active in AA.
We got married two years after he began his recovery.
When we moved to Missouri, he lost touch with AA. He’s still sober, but I think he’d benefit from going to meetings. Thing is, we live in a very small town. There is a local AA group, but they meet at his workplace, where he happens to be in management. There are a couple of notorious gossips in the group, as well. He won’t consider going there, although he misses AA.
If you happen to run across a good online support group, could you post a link?
–Kris
Wow ** Tn*hippie ** is back ! Good to see you guy ! I am so happy to see you are getting it together !
I’m doing ok, relapsed with the Hep C , but am on the new treatment now and it’s working. Keep your fingers, toes and naughty bits 
crossed for me , that I will have a very long lasting remission this time.
better late than never
I should’ve posted this disclaimer at the beginning of this thread:
I am not a spokesperson nor do I represent any group, sect, denomination, party, organization, or institution. The opinions I express are my own and do not necessarily reflect those of anyone else.
That said, ask on.
Peace,
TN*hippie
TVeblen
I’m compared to fine antique metal!
For this imagery I just can’t settle.
A true metaphor
Of me is much more
Like a recycled aluminum kettle.
Tabithina
12 years old…alone…a big glass of half gin, half Coke.
Needless to say, it tasted awful. What did I know about mixing drinks at 12? But I finished it because I absolutely loved the feeling it gave me. I spent the next 25 years chasing that feeling.
I like the stayingcyber.org site.
Peace,
TN*hippie
Great limric! Another master from the master.
Another question TN*. Hope your not tiring of them yet.
Whats the best advice you can give (over a message board anyway) to someone who wants to quit drinking but is unsure of themselves?
I know… another simple question with a not so simple answer.
Totoro
I don’t know if thinking hard will make your fur fall out, but drinking hard will make you fer shur fall out.
Peace,
TN*hippie
Whammo
I’ve never met a drinker at the end of his rope who was sure of himself.
If you have a desire to quit drinking, get your butt to a meeting or three and see what they have to say. It can’t hurt you.
Peace,
TN*hippie
Yup, its me again.
I was wondering what your opinion is about the ‘making amends’ part of AA. My ex tried and failed repeatedly with AA ( and is currently still failing, hence the ‘ex’). How are you handling it? Is it going well for you?
And the sponsor thing, with the X his sponsor was just an alky-free drinking buddy, y’know? Just someone else to bullshit. I was wondering if you have a sponsor and if so, are you getting on well with him? Are you finding that your sponsor is a help to you?
Hope you don’t mind me picking your brain…
3Bmama
three bunny mama
I’m a little uncomfortable voicing my opinions about AA to non-AAs. It’s just one of those “you had to be there” things, ya know? I can’t say that I’ve agreed with 100% of everything I’ve heard in AA…but after trying repeatedly and doggedly to get sober my way for over 10 years, I have to admit that I now agree with 99% of it. All I can say is that the people I’ve watched who really work the program do stay sober and happy.
Peace,
TN*hippie