Scumpup:
Dear Abby,
Dear I Knead U,
I’m afraid I don’t have any good receipes; I kneed my bread by hand
I recommend the bread machine mixes at your local grocery store, or this book . I urge caution, however; studies have shown that making bread several times a day can cause vision loss.
The Weird One
What are you, some kind of artisan or something?
Iceland_Blue:
Dear Abby
I’ve been stalking this Doper for some time now but she doesn’t seem to be interested.I don’t know what else I can do to show my interest-I’ve found her home address,her home phone number,her mobile.I’ve made several sexual references to her and loitered around her house.And yet it doesn’t seem to be enough-all she’s done is report me to the police and put a restraining order down.
Dear Mr. Blue ,
Tsk! Is that any way for a cheerleader to act?? :dubious: Leave poor eleanorigby alone! I see what you’re doing over in that other thread .
However, you can certainly write me a letter telling me what you’d like to do to her.
The Weird One
Dear Mr. Blue ,
Tsk! Is that any way for a cheerleader to act?? :dubious: Leave poor eleanorigby alone! I see what you’re doing over in that other thread.
However, you can certainly write me a letter telling me what you’d like to do to her.
Could you print his letter? Please? Turns out my husband only wants Nancy Sinatra to trample on him while in Manitoba…I’ve been dumped for a has been elderly celeb! So, I need some, er…stimulation. Sweetfreak is welcome, anytime!
eleanorigby:
Could you print his letter? Please? Turns out my husband only wants Nancy Sinatra to trample on him while in Manitoba…I’ve been dumped for a has been elderly celeb! So, I need some, er…stimulation. Sweetfreak is welcome, anytime!
Bread-makers are inexpensive at Wal-Mart.
Now, hand her over, you knave!! The lady is clearly enamoured of me!dazes Iceland_Blue with a bop! to the head, throws Sweetfreak over her shoulder and runs off
Evidently, the straightdope messageboard is the place where people want to be stalked.
None of the women I stalk ever seem to ‘want’ it
Is that a statement of fact, Blue or a question for Dear Abby?
eleanorigby:
Could you print his letter? Please? Turns out my husband only wants Nancy Sinatra to trample on him while in Manitoba…I’ve been dumped for a has been elderly celeb! So, I need some, er…stimulation. Sweetfreak is welcome, anytime!
HEY! I am way better than an inexpensive bread-maker at Wal-Mart.
NO! Wait! I meant…
grumbles expletives under my breath
Dear . . . since you didn’t sign your letter, I hereby dub thee Hannibal.
[huff]Well, if you already know the correct answer, what are you asking me for?[/huff]
In the meantime, I recall learning somewhere that human flesh tastes like pork, and that the best parts are the breastmeat or the arm, depending on which account of 19th century pioneers getting stuck in snowstorms you read.
Your family, though, is asking where it came from, not what it is. The answer to that is ridiculously easy: tell them you stop at the butcher’s on the way home from work. I’d be annoyed at you for even asking this question, if you hadn’t provided me with such a perfect opportunity to showcase my inappropriately detailed knowledge of the edibility of human flesh.
The Weird One
Well, that was a good answer, you can have the 10 cool points, but the correct answer is (from a Dead Kennedys song): Dear Reganomics Victim, Consult your clergyman, make sure the body’s blessed and everything should be just fine.
