Hama and I actually had this conversation once before… I suspect she’s replaying it for the benefit of others, and bless yore heart, ain’t you sweet fer doin’ it?
The answer in my opinion is “of course you are.” The fact that Mrs. Chef doesn’t like giving oral certainly doesn’t make her any less heterosexual. As many in this hoary old thread have said, bisexuality is what you ARE - not what you DO.
If by “card-carrying bisexual” you mean “PRACTICING bisexual” (and we could all use more practice, so come on over), I still don’t see where an aversion to going lickety split disqualifies you. If you are sexually attracted to women, like fondling breasts, and are willing to let your fingers get all pruny in pursuit of the mutual pleasure of Hamadryad and Her Name Is Legion, you’re still on the team.
As for hygiene being a possible source of your dislike, boy can I relate.
[sub]the foregoing should not be interpreted as criticism of anyone to whom Chef Troy is currently married.[/sub]
That said, there are ways around that. There are lots of fun things you can do with a warm wet washcloth as foreplay… and let’s not forget the taste-enhancing power of chocolate syrup.
If you don’t mind my asking, why don’t you like receiving oral? Is it an actual dislike of the sensation or more of a psychological, “oh no, if she’s doing that to me she’s going to want me to return the favor” that keeps you from enjoying yourself?
Not that I’m afraid I’ll “have” to reciprocate, believe me…I don’t particularly get anything out of receiving from Hims OR Hers. It just…doesn’t do much of anything for me. Mildly entertaining, but nothing to write home about.
Maybe I’m just built weird, too tense, not tense enough…hell, could be anything.
Saturday night, I finally told Mrs. Chef that I’m bisexual.
waits for the cries of amazement and mass faintings to subside
It was around midnight. She’d practically dragged me to bed for another two-orgasm salute. (We’ve had more sex since Thursday than we had in six weeks before that - never mind why.) In the afterglow, I was looking into her eyes and I suddenly decided that it was now or never. So I sat up and said something like, “I want to share something about myself with you that I should have told you a long time ago.” Then… I told her. She looked at me for a second like she was waiting for me to say “Just kidding!” and then said, “You ARE?”
It went better than I’d always feared it would. She pumped me for information (how long had I known, had I actually been with men, etc.); those questions were surprisingly easy to answer now that the basic fact was out. Harder to answer were questions like “why didn’t you feel you could trust me with this?” I explained about how military school had given me a warped perspective on the part of me that was attracted to men, and how because of the way we came to know each other, there was no clear moment that was the right time to tell her (and then it suddenly seemed too LATE to tell her), etc. I mentioned that “Ally McBeal” episode that I wrote about earlier in this thread - she barely remembered it. We stayed up until after three a.m. talking, made love one more time and collapsed into a snoring heap.
By yesterday she seemed to be processing it; she called a gay friend of hers and, with my okay, told him and talked to him about it. She’s reached the point of being able to tease me about it… we stopped at an arts & crafts store yesterday and she said, “Hey Troy, they have a job for you.” I looked where she was pointing - it was a sign that said, “Floral arranger wanted.”
[sub]heh heh, that’s funny sweetheart…can you hand me that baseball bat?[/sub]
One conclusion I came to in all of this is that the online flirting I have been doing isn’t as harmless as I’ve always told myself it is. So I’m not going to be doing any more of it. I am going to keep on writing erotica, and I hope my network of smut critics will keep helping me refine it - but I’m not going to be doing any more custom stuff. It’s time to focus all of my erotic energy on Mrs. Chef. (If the last couple of days are a preview of the future, I’m going to need every scrap of it!)
Thanks Falcon - your support has always meant a lot to me.
BTW everyone, I’ve started a new thread over in MPSIMS (which is where this thread really should have been all along) to reflect my newly (albeit slightly) out-of-the-closet status. Feel free to post your replies or comments over there if you like.
Oooooh, if I hadn’t JUST said I wasn’t going to flirt anymore, I could make a GREAT flirty joke here… but that would make you the straight man, and we can’t have that.
Good point. I have transferred operations to the new thread in MPSIMS but how about it, O Mod Squad?
I was joking with Hamadryad that I should change it to “Ask the newly non-closeted but don’t any of you boys get any ideas bisexual guy!” but on re-reading it sounds a bit clunky. Maybe just change it from “closeted bisexual guy” to “partially closeted bisexual guy” (I am NOT telling my mother.)
Yeah, it was always both ironic and awkward for me that you guys knew and she didn’t. When I launched “Ask the closeted bisexual guy!”, it never occurred to me that I would become friends IRL with a bunch of people from the SDMB. Which is just as well… if that HAD occurred to me, I’m sure I would never have dared to launch the thread in the first place, and I like to think that I helped some people by launching it (myself most of all).
