will you be able to tell us the weather for the next 6 weeks? have you seen your shadow?
Since Eastern Michigan University’s initials are EMU, don’t you think the athletic teams should call themselves Emus instead of Eagles?
Incidentally, I’ve pronounced “emu” correctly since I learned the word in social studies class in second grade. One chapter of the book Communities at Home and Abroad was about the Australian aborigines. Since you’re apparently posting from Ontario, were you born in Canada, or captured from “The Land Down Under” as a chick?
Why do emus get overcharged for beer?
I’ve heard that emus are unlike all other animals in that they are really out to trick humans. They are capable of speech (as seeb here–we are talking to you) and very advanced technology. They are running a secret underground project, which is actually based on the moon, the quietly alter things to their advantage, so that when the time is right they can take us lowly humans by surprise and become the new ruling species of the planter Earth.
Which brings me to my question: When can we look forward to welcoming our emu overlords?
Have you ever been an emu in a muumuu?
Are you an African or European emu?
I have been waiting for this opportunity ever since I lost my mind.
So, a few questions:
- Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?
- Do you even go to parties? If so, what kinds? Fondue? Fondon’t?
- How much wood would a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck would chuck you?
- Why is a mouse when it spins?
Thanks in advance for your Emulian insights.
[sub]the bat goes eeek[/sub]
I will offer an answer here. Since emus are considered to be fowl, the proper answer would be cranberry sauce.
Bring it on, ratite. Bring it on.
::walks into thread bleary-eyed, wearing pajamas::
…
::yawns::
…
::looks at thread::
…
Eeeee-myuuuuu, eh? Then perhaps you would care to tell me where my pants are?
Oh, and no one but me is taking over the planet. Unless it’s all done between the hours of 5:00 AM, and 7:00 AM.
THE EMU IS BACK! fanfare of trumpets, confetti, cheering crowds waving banners and signs, loud applause
So many questions, so little time…
The emu bird lays its eggs in the air because it is perpetually drunk on the beer it steals from us (see question below). Luckily, scrambled emu bird eggs with red peppers, onions, mushrooms, bay leaves and a dash of cayenne make a smashing omelette.
Why, yes! The epi is my first cousin’s eldest daughter’s uncle’s father’s great-aunt’s third cousin’s nephew’s sister, and the epitheta is my brother’s mother’s step-sister’s fifteenth cousin’s grandfather’s aunt’s father’s niece. It’s simple, really.
I can tell you that it will either rain, hail, snow, thunder, drizzle, be cold, be hot, be sunny, be windy, be foggy, or be mild the next few weeks.
And emus don’t have shadows, it’s the same reason why a duck’s quack doesn’t echo. Look inside yourself for the great karmic nirvana bliss, and you will hear the duck’s quack echoing and see the emu’s shadow. It is one of the eighteen great revelations of the Emu of the Universe.
Eastern Michigan University is not worthy to be associated with the Great and Almighty Emu. Those petty fools have offended us, and they will pay.
It all started on a dark and stormy night… pulls up a chair
Because those damn emu birds always steal the beer, and nobody can tell the difference between an emu bird and an emu. Damn emu birds. Crispy fried emu bird for the next barbecue, roasted over a spit…
You are wise and most wondrous, my child! Our coming will be soon, in the next… twenty-three minutes and fourteen seconds, and when we have dominated the earth, we will make you Supreme High Chancellor of Everything And All.
Of course, darling! Who wouldn’t look absolutely faaahbulous in this?
I don’t know! I–I–aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! falls off the Bridge of Deathl
- Never! We have aligned ourselves with a much, much more insidious and powerful evil… I, for one, am a close and very personal advisor and councillor to this man!
- Of course I go to parties. I wear my white John Travolta suit from Saturday Night Fever and boogie, jive, and shake my booty all night. Yeah, baby.
- Chuck the Woodchuck says that he would chuck wood at me if Chuck the Woodchuck chucked wood. But he doesn’t. Have you ever seen Scottish saber tossing? That’s what Chuck does. Chuck gets reaaaally tired of being asked if he chucks wood, so he chucks sabers now.
- A mouse is a mouse is a mouse, and it spins because it spins. Why?
On your head. And why are you wearing ladies’ underwear?
So, can you really make it possible for me to play my favorite C64 titles on my laptop?
I wasn’t aware that men “fell off the roof”. If one did though I would imagine he’d just die! 
Why, yes! Abracadabra-alakazaam-zzzing-kapow-kablam-ramalamadingdong-kablooie-shazamm! Now the power of the C64 is yours!
Sheesh.
Now that my wish has been granted, I can’t think of a single thing to ask you, except:
How you doin’?
How do you get emu oil
(I was wondering when you’d get to this thread! blows a kiss )
You milk the posterior glands of the emu and boil the pus for twenty minutes with hair of the emu (after you shave it, of course), and then mix it with unicorn dust from the Invisible Pink Unicorn and liquify it with Og’s special brew. I’ve heard it cures the common cold!
Oooooh! Emu kisses! swoon
Do you know Lloyd?
So. What are the seventeen other great revelations of the Emu of the Universe?
Who was that chick I saw you with last night? And aren’t you worried about being brought up on a statutory charge?