So, The Trilateral Commission and Freemasons are not evil? Are you saying that my ‘in’ to the New World Order isn’t going be the Evil Supervillian training that I was hoping for?
Oh, they’re evil, all right. But they’re not Evil Supervillains. Remember, Supervillains must have Super Powers. The members of the Trilateral Commission and the Freemasons, while forming a really good Evil World-Wide Conspiracy, are just plain old humans.
How did your education prepare you for the acquisition of your superpowers? Did you receive them with your degree on graduation or were you born with them? Was an accident involving biohazardous waste involved?
I too, am just a regular villain. However, I am poised on the brink of supervillaindry. The only thing holding me back is: what to do for a costume?
What is your attire like? How did you choose it?
A few stats might help you to…er, help me:
17
girl
blonde
deceptively cute
world domination (but not destruction!) goal
fond of big guns
Dear High Lord friedo
Do you have any pointers from crossing the line between Supervillainry and Evil Supervillainry? While I have made an effort to kick kittens while exiting bank robberies and laughing manically during my escape scene, the media still makes me out as 'The Dark and Mysterious Stranger Whose True Intentions are Shrouded". I have recently held a gaggle (or is that a flock?) of Nuns hostage with WMD’s, but the local superhero league still tries to appeal to my sense of right! How can I achieve true Evilness such as yours?
Yours (Temporarily-Quasi) Evil-ly,
The Dark Overlord and Druid of the Rabid Fauna.
Are there any other supervillians whose work you admire?
Or is any statement that could be construed that you are not “Supreme” in every way antithetical to the Supervillian ethos?
I have to interject because, while I’m not an expert on the quantification of exact levels of villiany, this statement should not be used to help.
In recent tests on the late and pathetic Judicious Lad, we at Evil Mastermind Labs discovered the “hope for the redemption of others” is actually a genetic flaw found in most heroes. We are currently working to adapt your average microwave oeven to emit the sort of radiation that can affect a sort of gene therapy. It has been very effective thus far on captured super-pets.
RahRahMah, after seeing your Blog site, your evilness is not in question. If you would truly like to have state-of-the-art, fashionably daring and very utilitarian equipment and costumes, you need go no farther than Evil Mastermind Labs! Simply send your exact physical specifications, a nice photo (for color coordination) your credit card number (or, if you really are 17, your parents’) and a blood sample.
Ok, the blood sample is just for our records, but you get the drift.
Are my puny weapons a match for your superior intellect?
My first superpower, the ability to turn invisible, was acquired quite by accident. I was a research assistant working for, ironically enough, another Supervillain named Professor Notnice. I was working on genetically engineering some dung-flinging lemurs to carry out the Professor’s evil bidding. However, due to a careless mistake, one of the genetically engineered dung-flinging lemurs escaped and wondered into the nuclear weapons lab just as they were testing a new weapon core. He got irradiated by the blast and thrown down the hallway and killed. Luckily, Professor Notnice had his zombie spell book handy and ressurected the lemur as a zombie lemur. Then he found his way back towards me and bit my arm and then flung some dung at it. So I got an infection from genetically-engineered zombie mutant lemur shit, and that gave me the ability to turn invisible.
It was then that I left Professor Notnice and cashed in my 401(k) to begin my own Supervillainour education.
I prefer form-fitting black spandex and a black cape. I also wear a mask that only covers my eyes, because that’s just cool. My shirt has a big red f on the front, and my legs have yellow stripes down the sides.
For a deceptively cute 17 year old blonde girl who’s fond of big guns and bent on world domination, I would reccomend something like this.
Have you tried earning a degree in personal injury law?
I admire the works of the Abominable Snowman, Magneto, and most of all, David Hasselhoff.
No.
But only if you catch me when I’m in character. If I’ve just woken up or I’ve been drinking you could probably dispense with me with a bullet or two.
But that wouldn’t be any fun.
Some years back I ran across this wonderful site, and it’s still going: http://minievil.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
Although directed to evil overlords, I think you evil supervillains could pick up a pointer or two.
Can you explain why supervillains and their nemises invariably either have almost identical superpowers, or exact opposite superpowers?
Oh, and thanks for the shout-out on Lemur dung. Do we have permission to quote you for our new marketing campaign: “Lemur dung. Good for what ails you”? Or maybe “Lemur dung. It’s not just for zombies anymore”. I’ll have my people get in touch with your people.
Usually because it increases dramatic tension. Also, it makes things easier for the writers.
You will have to pay me royalties, but sure.
What’s your end-game strategy for world domination? As I see it, with all the evil supervillains, evil overlords, and evil ordinary villains out there vying for world domination, eventually it will get down to a few hundred would-be world dominators vying to be the one who controls the whole world, probably by killing all the others.
(Come to think of it, sounds a lot like the real world … hmmmmm)
Anyhoo, I see the world domination endgame as being a lot like an Ebay auction – with some people slugging it out throughout, and some lurking in hopes of sliding in with a last-minute bid for world domination that takes everyone by surprise. Probably some supervillains will take a hint from reality TV shows and form factions that will collude to defeat all the others, right up until the last minute, when they turn on each other.
It sounds like great fun, so what’s your plan, if you don’t mind revealing it to the entire world?