[QUOTE=Grossbottom]
Ok, I have a question that I hope doesn’t offend anyone. What’s with ‘gay’ speech mannerisms? I’m not sure I have the words to describe it, but I’ll try. I’m not referring so much to the stereotypical lisp, though I’ve heard it taken that far in the past. But among a substantial proportion of gay men, there does seem to be a certain…hyperfemininity in speech? A sort of Silver Screen-era girlish flamboyance to the spoken word, kind of this Scott Thompson monologue “have a martini, dahling” kind of thing.
My question: is this an affectation, or what?
Looking back to my high school years we had this gay kid, he was pretty much crossdresser-in-Con Air gay. But he was closeted, at least to everyone in school. And sure enough, he had that speech thing going on, like he couldn’t shut it off. I mean this guy was fifteen and he talked like a woman all the time. Which now makes me wonder if someone doesn’t want to broadcast that they are gay, why go to the trouble of such an affectation? Is it involuntary?
And if it is just an affectation, why do it in the first place? Do gay men find guys who speak in a feminine manner attractive? Does this manner of speech indicate something else to other gay men?
I’ve wondered about this for years and years, I was always afraid to ask for fear of offending someone.
(And yeah, I’m aware that many or even most gay men don’t speak in this fashion.)
[/QUOTE]
Believe it or not, this is actually a hot topic among linguists. It’s called GA (short for “gay accent”) and has been found in nearly all cultures and is readily recognizable as GA even when the language spoken is in a culture relatively unaffected by western mannerisms. So, if you went to a foreign country and heard GA in a language you have no familiarity with and/or is not linguistically related to your language, you would still be able to pick up the fact that he is speaking with a GA. Fascinating…
[QUOTE=Malienation]
Believe it or not, this is actually a hot topic among linguists. It’s called GA (short for “gay accent”) and has been found in nearly all cultures and is readily recognizable as GA even when the language spoken is in a culture relatively unaffected by western mannerisms. So, if you went to a foreign country and heard GA in a language you have no familiarity with and/or is not linguistically related to your language, you would still be able to pick up the fact that he is speaking with a GA. Fascinating…
[/QUOTE]
So it’s kind of like the Alignment Languages or Thieves’ Cant in the 1st Edition D&D game… :D:D:D
[QUOTE=Malienation]
Believe it or not, this is actually a hot topic among linguists. It’s called GA (short for “gay accent”) and has been found in nearly all cultures and is readily recognizable as GA even when the language spoken is in a culture relatively unaffected by western mannerisms. So, if you went to a foreign country and heard GA in a language you have no familiarity with and/or is not linguistically related to your language, you would still be able to pick up the fact that he is speaking with a GA. Fascinating…
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Could you please supply some online citations for this interesting information.
a) What’s the appeal of anal sex, that is, being on the bottom? Being on the top, I can understand, but is there an emotional and/or physical pay-off being on the bottom?
b) from your viewpoint as a gay guy…If i wanted to have full-on sex with a she-male (someone who looked and acted female in all respects except for the unit between her legs), would that make me gay? Even I were repulsed by the idea of sex with a guy (that is, with no illusion of feminity) or were sexually attracted to women? Bi-sexual?
c) Regarding prison rape, do you think that the rapists are actually closet homosexuals or just on a power trip?
d) Gay guys like to wear tight short shorts…stereotype on my part?
Simple. There are the emotional components (trust, intimacy, etc.) but there’s also prostate stimulation. The prostate gland is very sensitive and filled with nerves, so much that it’s called the male g-spot. It can only be stimulated from behind, though.
That’s more of a personal conclusion, but I would say “straight”. You’re sleeping with the lady because she looks and acts like one, not because she also has a penis.
Could be anything. It depends on their behavior outside, but most rape is all for power anyway. There is also something known as “circumstantial homosexuality”, which is when straight people sleep with each other because they have no access to the opposite sex.
Stereotype mostly. There are some gay men who like to wear tight shorts, but there are also plenty of us who think they look ridiculous and chafe like hell.
[QUOTE=Bippy the Beardless]
I’m interested that you like men with particularly masculine traits. Do you find your preferrence is for masculine men and feminine women?
Would the idea of a woman with chest hair be as offputting to you as it would be to most people?
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I tend to like girls who are tomboys, but chest hair on a woman would be a bit of a hurdle for me. I don’t mind hairy legs or armpits, though. Actually, I dig on femme guys a good amount, too, although my boyfriend is anything but. Hyper-femme women are a turn off, though.
Generally, I’d say it’s the explosive orgasm.
No, you’re almost certainly straight. You’re attracted to the transexual (FYI, a lot of them take exception to the term “she-male.”) because she looks like a woman. If you were gay, you’d be attracted to people who looked like men.
For the actual rapist, it’s always about the power trip. For non-coercive gay prison sex, it’s the aforementioned “situational gay sex.” Most men involved in sexual relationships with other men in prison immediately revert to heterosexuality when release, and display no interest in other men while on the outside.
Sorry, I’m totally unqualified to answer fashion questions.
[QUOTE=ralph124c]
Are you into expensive clothes? Do you buy $5000 Zegna suits? How about dress shirts-do you have hundreds of them (ala Jay Gatsby)? Seriously, do spend major money on clothes-and do you subscribe to GQ?
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I do like expensive clothes, but I *never * pay retail
I have about 30 dress shirts, but that’s what I wear to work.
And no, I don’t subscribe to GQ. I guess I don’t need them for my own sense of style (shrug).
[QUOTE=Freudian_Slip]
My father was friends with a man who lived down the street - he had known him since they were kids.
He sounded for all the world like a “screaming queen”, but he was completely hetero.
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I used to know a guy like that. Remember Christopher Lowell? He was a dead ringer for that guy. Looks, speech, mannerism, whole nine yards. Not only was he married, with children, but he had multiple mistresses.
[QUOTE=O2BDumb]
Hi, I’ve wondered about a few things:
a) What’s the appeal of anal sex, that is, being on the bottom? Being on the top, I can understand, but is there an emotional and/or physical pay-off being on the bottom?
[/quote]
Do a little research on the body part called the prostate. Then get back with us.
That depends on if you’re talking about a transexual who just hasn’t had surgery or a drag queen. If the former, then no you aren’t gay. if it’s simply someone who is in drag, then yes.
Same as with any rape, it’s about power.
Yes, it’s a sterotype on your part. Unless of course you’re refering to runners and cyclists, but then that has nothing to do with them being gay.
[QUOTE=wonderlust]
I know there are men who sound gay but are supposedly straight, but sometimes I have to wonder if they’re more gay than they admit to themselves.
…which leads to…
can your gaydar pick up gays who repress their nature?
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Yep. Actually, most gay guys I know that came out later in life had at least one gay person tell them that they knew before the person came out.
[QUOTE=Anaamika]
can I just point out…You don’t need a prostate to enjoy.
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True, but then of course a lot of us, like myself, have one and don’t enjoy it. It’s one of those things I would be happy if I could like it…but ah well.
[QUOTE=Antinor01]
Yep. Actually, most gay guys I know that came out later in life had at least one gay person tell them that they knew before the person came out.
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Or 99.9% of his straight friends in one case I know.
The question “does this make me gay” is always sticky. For one thing, it assumes a single incident of sex with a person of the same gender (however defined) means that one is gay, which I think is questionable - if I had sex with a woman, would that make me straight?
It’s been put to me that if I had (and presumably enjoyed) sex with a woman, I’d be bisexual - or that “everyone is partly bisexual” - but IMHO that stretches labels out to the point of worthlessness. I seem to recall statistics that said that something like 60% of self-identifying gay men and 90% of self-identifying lesbians had had straight sex at some point.
But they refer to themselves as gay men or lesbians - why? presumably because they are interested in people of the same gender to the point that they don’t care to let opposite-gender people know they have a chance.
This is part of the reason why best practice is to accept people’s labels for themselves. Presumably they have a reason for identifying as they do; it’s not up to me to inform you as to your sexual orientation.
I would therefore argue that if you were to have sex with a trans person at any point on the transition plane, and you felt honest in continuing to identify as straight, that would be your prerogative.
