What IYHO does "looks gay" correspond to?

Just curious. Inspired by this thread title (and OP I guess).

Any man that combines colorfulness, effeminacy, and over-the-top-ness is a candidate.

Lesbians, I’m not good at determining. There are several straight women with short hair that don’t like to wear makeup.

For gay guys, I distinguish 2 categories: “pitchers” vs “catchers”.

Some of the pitchers can be tough to pick out because they blend in easier with heterosexuals. The catchers are often flamboyant with effeminate clothing, wrist gestures, so they stick out very easily.

Visually, it’s a look that changes as styles change so there is no generic description that fits.

Hmmm… interesting. I never really thought about who was giving and receiving. So the more effeminate gay men typically will be penetrated (like females) by the more masculine gay men.

I picked “other” - I can often tell if a woman is a lesbian even if she isn’t “totally looking for action” - in that case, she is just “family”.

The was a recent news slip on this:


I didn’t answer my own question, did I?

The male stereotype seems more detailed and distinctive, and when I encounter someone who matches that stereotype to an overwhelming degree I do assume he probably is gay. Generically, though, I’m clueless on first impression. I’ll more often get a sense over time, but then I can’t explain why I think it one way or the other. (And I guess I do tend to assume hetero by default if I think about it at all)

You can tell by the mannerisms. Now I’m in no way saying, you can always tell a gay man. You can’t, but some gay men you can tell.

For instance, if you look at the reruns of “Who’s The Boss,” it’s fairly obvious early on that little kid is gonna grow up and be gay. Same for Neil Patrick Harris as “Doogie Howser.”

Now I’m betting that little kid Dewey (Erik Per Sullivan) on “Malcolm in the Middle” will be gay.

Did anyone think Paul Lynde, Jim J Bullock, or David Hyde Pierce wasn’t gay?

I’m sure there were people who thought so, but as I said, you can’t always tell, but with certain people you can tell.

I never thought about that but I wouldn’t be so sure for that example. He and his family live close to me and they own a small local Mexican restaurant that we go to a lot and I am acquaintances with the whole family. His father looks just like Erik and acts like an older version of him. His mother a native Swede. They are just a quirky family. I never heard anyone else say that although it could be true I suppose.

It’s usually clothing. If a woman wears look-at-me clothing, she wants guys to notice. If a man wears look-at-me clothing, he wants guys to notice. Such clothing includes tight jeans, trendy shoes (sandals?), any type of V-neck, accessories such as scarves (unless, of course, it’s really cold and you’re outside) or bracelets.

Naturally, there’s no strict rule but that’s the best generalization I’ve got.

As a straight guy who has been hit on numerous times by men I would never have guessed gay…who upon interrogation thought I was gay and not just a fun convert project…I am simply unable to participate in this pole. Poll, I mean.

I know, sometimes you just have to find out these things about other guys the really long and hard way. You can get get caught up in a slippery slope sometimes if you worry about that that type of thing too much though.

Most of the people I know actually are gay. But if I see a stranger, and think he looks gay, it usually turns out to be wishful thinking on my part. Even though I’m in a monogamous relationship, I like to think that every hot man is gay. And I think I’m right, more times than not.

If there is a picture on their desk of themselves and someone from the same gender hugging, then I’ll assume there’s both gay going on and a long-term-relationship.

Unless I see something that blatant, I don’t assume that a woman who isn’t feminine is gay (I’m a female engineer, so that line of thinking would lead me to assume that 90% of the women I met profesionally are gay - heck, given how much I spend on makeup, I’d have to assume I’m gay) or that a man with wrist problems is gay. And I find the assumption that a gay guy with feminine behaviour will be a “catcher” absolutely hilarious; several of the gay couples I know would both be catchers according to that mindset, which poses some logistic problems :stuck_out_tongue: I guess they could limit themselves to a life of 69s…

To balance out the world, I always assume someone is gay until proven not. Somebody has to do it!

Its human behaviors so it’s not an absolute but there are tendencies. Some guys are more “dominant” and other guys more “submissive” in their roles as a couple.

Just like it’s possible for the wife to “wear the pants” in a heterosexual marriage. It’s certainly possible for the woman to earn the big money and whip her hogtied husband in bed, but it’s not typical.

Well, there are 3 billion males in this world and I haven’t met them all and anything is possible but personally, I’ve never met a male with feminine wrist gestures to be heterosexual.

First, I’m sure many people are homosexual without being identifiable by sight. But the men and women who make me pause and think, “probably gay” typically demonstrate a lack of concern for appearing masculine or feminine, respectively. Guys who move in stereotypically feminine ways, care about “girly” things, and don’t try to be “tough.” And women who don’t bother to get feminine haircuts, wear makeup, or wear clothing that emphasizes the female figure. (I know lots of mothers of small children who wear jeans and t-shirts and no makeup, but they don’t have butch haircuts or sport a lot of flannel.)

Yes, but without evidence, there’s literally no way to tell whether a given person is a top or bottom. It doesn’t correlate with any non-sexual behavior. I know quite a few people in the Leather community, and there’s really no way to tell other than checking out their hankies.

See, there are two ways to go with this. On the one hand, you have people who exhibit gay cultural traits, etc, and look as gay as they try to look.

On the other hand, you have people being BLATANTLY HATEFUL OF CERTAIN BYSTANDING INDIVIDUALS AND ATTRIBUTING TO THEM COMPLETELY UNWARRANTED TRAITS DUE TO A NONDESCRIPT WEIRDNESS. Usually, the target male is attractive but not in the butch way. Often he won’t be as confident or have some other defect of demeanor. And, automatically, he’s a fag.

Yeah, you just knew Neil Patrick Harris was gonna grow up gay. :rolleyes: How many little boys do you eyeball while imagining them to be gay, exactly? Is this a pursuit that takes up a significant portion of your day?