Ask The Intergalactic Muffin

I saw a lot of these threads going, and figured I might not be so sick of them if I made one of my own. So here it is.

If you’ve ever had questions about alien muffins, this is the place to post it.

I swear, you must have a muffin fetish! :eek:

So why do lil red-headed muffins blush clear back to their ears?

It’s a muffin thing. You wouldn’t understand.

Are there such things as blueberry alien muffins?

What about lemon poppyseed muffins?

Do they have the crumbly tops?

Yes, but on my planet, we call them “slaves”.

Only when we don’t use our dandruff shampoo.

Dear Intergalactic Muffin,

Are you planning to come to earth ? If so what treatment can the earth muffins expect from you ?

My friend FreakFreely said when the invasion comes I will be spared, is this true ?

Will muffin eating be allowed ? My favorites are blueberry and banana nut, uh not to eat, to ah, um, play with, yeah I play dress up with them, they like to dress up in butter then get a tan in the oven.

Dear ** Intergalactic Muffin **:

On another thread, I queried as to the great squirrel-muffin rivalry. You responded that I wouldn’t understand.

That’s fine, I probably wouldn’t. However, I am somewhat concerned

Is this only a squirrel-muffin hatred, or does the rivalry extend to all rodents? If it extends to all rodents, I will cut off all my ties to Rodentia immediately. I do not want to be put up against the wall during the Great Muffin Invasion because I was innocently hanging around with woodchucks.

Thanks in advance,

Sua

Their testing cages will be luxurious.

From death, yes…

I would’ve never guessed that you would be interested in inter-species relationships, but I assure you, The Muffin Council does not look down upon such acts. We only ask that you keep your personal life personal.

I was warned by a muffin this morning that when its brothers arrived from across the stars, I would regret my actions. I laughed and told it that it was better off if I ate it now than it would be under the thumb of its alien brethren. Was I telling the truth?

No. They will not be under our thumb. In fact, we will have to keep quite a distance as the Whirling Blades Of Doom do their work.

Which do you think is more crucial to the evolution of civilization, moist chocolatey goodness or thumbs?

Once we enslave your civilization, you will have to learn to evolve without thumbs.

Trust me, you wouldn’t. The closest I could come to giving some explanation would be to say that squirrels are to us what trolls are to you. I should also clarify that when I say squirrels I mean galactic-squirrels.

It’s only galactice-squirrels. And any human who is found fraternizing with galactic-squirrels will be psychologically examined at great depth (along with the other testings).