celestina, I appreciate your trying to understand the perspective of those who choose to wear hijab, and I don’t really know what I can add to the discussion (though I’m sure I’ll be long-winded about it anyway) :).
Do Muslim women get together and debate the issue of hijab? Oh, do they. There are so many different perspectives on the subject, and some jones for more strict veiling (there are sisters supportive of face veiling); some don’t feel it’s acceptable to wear things like sweats or jeans, taking a very 7th century Arab-centric view of what is proper Islamic wear; others just aren’t convinced that covering the hair is required (I’m one of these, and I posted a link earlier to an article by a Muslimah who provided reasons for coming to that conclusion). All would probably agree on modest (re: “loose”) clothing for both Muslim women and men, though.
It is a thorny and controversial subject, where we are all trying to figure out just what is modesty and what is 7th-century Arab culture, while not taking that to mean we should just throw the whole thing out. I honestly believe that a lot of the strong feelings come about due to how hijab tends to be forced on people in “Muslim” lands – and not only that, but also how women came to cover their hair in the Judeo-Christian history of America. I mean, why do we think that covering one’s hair makes a woman subservient? Could it be, possibly, because Paul said as much in the New Testament? These are all things we need to take into account when the issue of women covering arouses such strong feelings.
As I mentioned, we have no examples from the Prophet’s life where he came down hard on women who did or didn’t cover their heads or meet some standard (though he is reported to have commented on acceptable standards of modesty). Therefore, I don’t believe that the government should enforce strict standards of clothing regulation on its citizens.
THAT SAID, even in America there are clothing standards that are enforced upon people. “No shoes, no shirt, no service.” There are places where women can’t go topless. There are places where no one can go bottomless.
This society has standards of modesty as well!
Fortunately, in most of the above cases, the worst that will happen is that you’ll be sternly refused service until you return wearing something more appropriate. I feel that that response is more appropriate and Islamic, and I feel that the Prophet’s example – a man who never struck or used physical force against a woman – supports that.
Therefore, countries who abuse and browbeat women into toe-ing the party line go against that example (and Muhammed was the best of examples) and do Islam and Muslims a disservice.
Now how did that happen to the Islamic world? Rise of oppressive patriarchy, tyranny, dynasties rampant with nepotism, colonialism, lack of education, and the subsequent rebellion against all things appearing Western or secular – lots of things. “Oh, your women don’t have to cover their heads? OUR women will have to cover their faces! Ha! Take THAT!”
I really, truly believe that if one looks at the earliest years of Islam, one could not possibly jive that with the current treatment of women in some Middle-Eastern countries. Khadijah, Muhammed’s first wife, was a successful, self-employed businesswoman – older than him, the one who proposed to him, and was the first believer in Islam – and he worked for her! Aisha, his youngest wife, was one of the most prolific relators of stories about the Prophet, and one of the most highly respected authories on Islam. A woman publicly corrected Caliph Umar, the leader of a young Muslim community, using her knowledge of the Qur’an. The story Queen of Sheba is mentioned in the Qur’an – a strong female ruler of a land.
I again re-iterate that if a man ogles a woman, no matter what she is wearing, he cannot blame her for what she is wearing (or not wearing) as an “excuse”. He is in the wrong, and he alone is reponsible for his actions. That this behavior is excused in exchange for blaming women for men’s wrongdoings, in any land, is wrong. The “boys will be boys” mentality is not Islamic, in my view. Women should not be forced to wear hijab in order to shoulder the responsibility of keeping men in line. That’s not what it’s for at all, in my view. As I said, it’s not to prevent men from falling into sin. That ain’t our job! Not in that respect, anyway.
Same thing about prayer – I just stated my own views on the subject, and it’s absolutely true that a woman could look up during prayer and become aroused by the sight of a man prostrating before her. What is also true is that men are more visual creatures, while that doesn’t excuse or explain anything – as a matter of fact, as far as I know the Prophet didn’t give a reason for why women should pray in the back rows at all, so any explanation is merely speculation!
I guess the question we should all ask is why praying in the back rows is considered to be a bad thing, and why, if it’s supposed to be something that supports the inferiority of women, do women and men pray side by side during Hajj in Mecca?
I will say this much: I have seen many Muslim misogynists give “Islamic” reasons why they believed women to be inferior to men… but that they prayed in the back rows of the mosque has never been among those reasons.
I think that at least some of your reservations about the issue of covering are more about the degree of covering – though I could be reading you wrong! – and maybe I can offer an example that is more recognizable by “Western” standards. You mentioned that while women who wear hijab cover to hide their bodies from view of men who might stare at them, these men might be so bold as to spend time speculating about what is under those clothes. You’re right: they might. But just as they may look at a woman wearing a regular shirt and wonder what’s underneath it (see the popularity of the “wet t-shirt contest”) – this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t bother wearing shirts, since men are going to wonder what’s underneath them anyway!
I know that that might be an extreme example, but I do believe it’s just a matter of degree: replace “shirt” with “head cover” or “baggy clothing” and the analogy works. Just as you wouldn’t want to feel pressured to wear more in response to how men may view you, women who wear hijab don’t want to feel pressured to wear less.
In other words, I may not be responsible for what a man thinks of me, and frankly, what he thinks about my body is his own business – but I can choose to not give him permission to verify those thoughts, because my body is my own business.
Regarding the articles talking about not giving in to fashion’s dictates, or body size or body image issues – certainly there are women who cover who still have body image issues. I still see hijab (and more broadly, just dressing in looser, less exposing clothing) as a sort of equalizer. To be fair, that’s not the stated intent of hijab, just a side effect that may appeal to some women who wear it. Some women wear hijab as a political statement, also. The reasons for wearing it are probably as varied as the styles of wearing it.
Honestly, depending on whom you’re talking to, hijab is just not that big a deal. Many will wear a baggy shirt and a pair of blue jeans and a headscarf, or an ankle-length skirt (which were in style only a couple of years back) and blouse and headscarf. To be completely candid, it took me about four years to become comfortable with the idea of hijab and free my mind from the knee-jerk prejudice and assumptions that I associated with it. I still don’t wear hijab myself, though I do dress in pretty ordinary, unrevealing clothes (typical university student gear ;)), much as I did before I converted to Islam. I have never gotten catcalled, and can count the number of times I’ve been flirted with on one hand, with fingers left over. I do intend to someday wear the hijab, because it’s a standard of modesty I wish to aspire to. But wearing it won’t change the person that I am, and if it makes people feel that I’m hiding myself or subjugating myself, then they don’t understand me, and I’ll have to educate them, because the more women who are educated, intelligent, and outspoken about why they wear hijab, the less discomfort we’ll all feel about a 40x40 inch piece of cloth. 
ought to understand, just a little bit, the appeal.