You’re misreading it, I think – it’s primarily a phrase used by non-greeks who are proud thereof.
BTW, I frikkin’ hate jam bands.
–Cliffy
You think wrong. Not only do non-greeks not use it to describe themselves, most don’t even know what it means.
-Little sisters (and big sisters) are sorority members with whom a fraternity member develops a bond and agrees to become paired in a sort of non-bloodline filial friendship. Either that, or she’s a chick you were drunk with and you said “dude, you should totally be my little sister! I’ll get you a jersey and everything…”
-EVERY college kid likes Dave Matthews, except me, which is a shame, because Ants Marching 101 is required for graduation these days. But I really really hate that fucker… (pardon my french)
'nother “frat” boy chiming in here. I went through my entire undergrad socializing with several “frats” and after coming out dated a couple of brothers from of all places RPI (I went to school in souther Mass, so it was a hike to get there) when I moved to DC, I met this guy, and he was a brother in DLP (delta Lambda Phi, the “Gay” fraternity) and convinced me to pledge. now the DC chapter is the Alpha chapter since we were founded here. anyway, to what you said about brothers not dating brothers. at the time, it was brothers will not date pledges. I was kinda seeing the guy that had introduced me to the frat, and one of his fellow brothers that was in the pledge committee told him not to say anything about us dating. to make a long story short, we were found out by one of the pledge masters, ironically on the night that I told him I wanted to see other people. he was sanctioned, and I was put on probation for the rest of my pledge process.
you think that sorrority was bad on judging people by how they looked. my first pledge process after I was initiated, made me sick. it was more a beauty contest and a sexiness contest rather than about who was a good fit for the group.
and in my “family”, we had the only person to ever be thrown out of the fraternity, or blackballed. seems there was a party one night, and it was mixed brothers and others, and he started badmouthing the fraternity to a bunch of the others. from what one fo the guys told me, my ancestor was lucky to not get thrown off the building. in my family, seems that after each little was accepted, either the big would drop away, or if he had another little, that one would never make it. I was the first one to break that tradition. I had two littles that went on to be fine brothers. not long after that though I faded out of the fraternity, so I have no idea if my family is still going on or not. 
I don’t think this is something that can be discovered with certainty, but before this very thread I had never in my life heard this phrase to be used by anyone who wasn’t non-greek, but I have heard it a million times by actual independents. It probably depends on the school – I imagine that at a not heavily greek school the phrase would not be in regular discourse like it was where I was in college.
–Cliffy
To all the frat brothers out there:
I think you have a skewed view on how you think others perceive you. Saying that others see you as an “elite” group and something that they “aspire” to be is wrong. And thinking that it will “look good on a resume” is wrong.
Those of us non-greeks look at fraternitys like a dating service. If you can’t get friends on your own and can’t network on your own after graduating then join a fraternity.
Claiming Greek status on a resume can backfire also. Lot’s of outsiders are not impressed by fraternitys and can shun them for that reason.
How did I manage to miss this thread until now?
If I can offer a perspective as a frat guy (okay, it was TKE!) who’s been out of college for about fifteen years now, I have to agree that it’s easy to overestimate how good fraternity membership will look on a resume. I never put it on my resume–frankly, it never occurred to me to do so. And, having recently served on a search committee, and thus had some input into hiring decisions, I can testify that “Was he in a frat?” was a question that we just never asked in evaluating candidates. Some people did put it on their resumes, but it was more or less a null data point. Being in a fraternity didn’t help or hurt you; neither did not being in one.
That being said, it’s also easy to overestimate the “instant friends for people who can’t make any on their own” aspect, especially as it pertains to life after graduation. It’s true that many of my current friends are people who were in my fraternity. Interestingly, though, I don’t tend to think of them as “frat brothers” so much as “college buddies.” At the same time, there are any number of my “brothers” who I would be quite happy to never see again.
How involved you remain in a fraternity after you graduate is strictly up to you. Even though, as Cliffy says, you technically remain a member for life (barring some extreme misbehavior), that doesn’t really obligate you to continue to participate. Some people remain very involved, going to alumni functions regularly, working with the active chapter, and generally being big fraternity boosters. Other folks come back to the college every few years (for Homecoming or some such), and drop into the house just to touch base with old friends they haven’t seen for awhile. And there are also plenty of people who, having enjoyed their membership during college, then go on to other things and never give their old fraternity a second thought. I classify myself as being in the second group.
Just FYI, and perhaps slightly off-topic.
Disclaimer: I attended a rather unique college. We had only three dorms, and 9 fraternity houses. Something like 80% of the student body were fraternity members. As a result, my experiences are quite likely atypical of fraternity life in general.
Actually this is an interesting point. Do fraternities or chapters have formalized criteria for accepting or rejecting rushees? Most of us in the non-Greek world think it’s just a question of the existing members in the chapter finding someone “cool” or “not cool”, without further articulating it any more than a non-Greek would.
Formalized criteria? Recruitment by the numbers, you mean? We prefer not to think of ourselves as college football coaches- we aren’t selecting members based on their career passer ratings…
While it is true that certain (few to my knowledge) chapters of certain fraternities might go looking for pledges, with, say, a certain “fatness of wallet”, most don’t care, providing you can afford to pay your dues.
Recruitment/rush tends to be done pretty much on a seat-of-the-pants basis (no paddling jokes here, please)… if a decent sample of the membership has a good feeling about a guy, we’ll probably give him a bid. If, on the other hand, someone has the impression that he is either a) looking for a free beer, b) a liability (as in the campus newspaper may read “x fraternity pledge charged with assault” sometime during his first semester), or c) just not somebody they like, he may be (politely) asked to leave.
It really is as simple as “I don’t like that guy”… I would want to associate with a person I disliked, and I wouldn’t expect my brothers to either.
A lot of fraternities have ‘formalized’ albiet vague criteria in their charter (‘a man possessed of fairly goodness’ or some such shit) but it generally boils down to an informal idea of what most of the guys in the house think is “cool”. There may also be certain formal criteria like GPA or certain number of hours of community service that the university requires.
This is partially true. You never know if the manager interviewing you was a complete tool in college. He may see “Zeta Psi” on your resume and have flashbacks to a bunch of lacross players egging his Gremlin with the ‘Starfleet Acadamy’ window sticker.
It’s easy to forget that not everyone want’s jobs in banking, finance or business where ‘boy’s club’ fraternity networks are helpful.
Many people will not be impressed by your ability to party hard and will criticize your decision to join a social group that shares your interests.
Not everyone thinks fraternity life is something worthwhile and you may face some criticism. Townies, GDIs, nerds, rejects, and losers will resent you. That won’t stop them from coming to your parties for the free beer though.
Some may mock you because you use your fraternity as a social ‘crutch’ instead of spending your college years ‘networking’ in your dorm with your text books or the handful of friends you place Asshole and smoke pot with every weekend.
(Just to point out - I’m not that much of a ‘go greek’ guy, but at my college, Greek life was so ingrained in the school, it really does feel like you are missing a big part of the college experience. I’ve been to other campuses though where Greek life was a joke and you couldn’t pay me to join one of their irrelevant houses).
Hey…Paddy Murphy, right? My friend was Paddy Murphy one year, and I went to his school to witness it. A whole parade of cars, led by the police. It was my understanding that he was the oldest member at the time so the honor fell to him. Was alot of fun. Me and three other kids wandering around, really not belonging. “Why are you here?” asked by various people. “We are friends with *****” “Shit. Want something to drink?”
Then we saw him after shots/secret stuff.
Was alot of fun.
Oops…My bad. I just re-read your post Cliffy, and I see you are in a different fraternity. They had the same legend though. One brother shoots down another. Theirs happened during prohibition, and now they have this parade each year to “celebrate” it. It was SAE if my memory serves. My bad. I am not only getting older, but dumber as well. It is funny how that works.
The SAE chapter here doesn’t do that… they’re too busy fixing their hair…
Recruitment at our school was a little more formalized than dutchboy208 may lead you to believe. There is a set ‘rush’ period, quotas (not the racial kind, a certain number of new pledges are required each year to maintain financial viability), and a set process for determining if a candiate is extended a bid. In the end though, it usually comes down to a small group of guys liking you and the rest giving their ‘we need the dues’ approval.
Kappa Alpha Order, Alpha Phi Chapter, Duke University, here. 15 years ago. I can say with all honesty there was not one moment of my initiation that I would not have wanted my mother to see. It was a solemn and moving night. Some Pledge Tasks were mildly embarrassing, but if so, they had to encourage positive bonding within out pledge class, with existing brothers, or with Alumni. Selection of whom to offer a “bid” to become a pledge was unanimous among the brothers present at the weekly meetings where the prospects’ names were brought up to vote. As for wanton sexuality, if only! Yes, beer flowed quite freely, and some guys were luckier in the sack than others.
I joined (as a Sophomore) because I shared many values with these guys, and I knew I could be roommates with any of them.
To the OP, can you say the same thing about your initiation ceremony? Or would you be embarrassed to have your mother watch the whole thing?
Absolutely.
It involved a Bible, which she might have looked at a little askance, being Hindu, but no, I certainly wouldn’t have minded my mother watching the ceremony.
Of course, our ritual would be somewhat compromised…
I have to be honest, I find this description of non-frat guys hilarious since it was the exact opposite at my college. Almost no one was involved in the frats except people who couldn’t get friends any other way. And they would hold house parties but no one would go except members or freshman who didn’t know any better. The kickass parties were all held by normal folks who owned a house (Superhouse, CB House, etc) - they weren’t frats, just 4 or 5 guys who lived together with unofficial nicknames after they threw a few good parties.
Incidentally, one frat started holding some good parties towards the end of my senior year - ADG - by working with the campus watering hole and bringing in local bands and offering drink discounts. They were always fun.
That’s a little bit of a generalization, Hampshire. I was President of my chapter (Sig Eps) my junior year, and put it on my resume. After I had been out of school and working for a while, I had an opportunity to see my Personnel file. During the selection-for-iinterview process, they had passed my resume around to the folks who would potentially meet with me, and somebody had actually circled my Fraternity membership and Presidency, and scrawled “Leadership!” on the page.
I’m convinced that adding this to my resume did indeed give me an edge in the selection process.
I understand it was holding office, and not merely membership, that caught the unknown somebody’s eye; but as has already been mentioned, one of the prime benefits of membership in a Fraternity is the opportunity to learn how organizations are run, and to take part in the leadership of the chapter.
Bottom line? It looks good on a resume, if you take advantage of the opportunities.