I am sorry. I’m not answering questions about my genitals. If for no other reason, some people I know locally who are not on the SDMB are reading this thread. But don’t send me any PMs either.
Earlier I mentioned that those questions are typically incredibly rude when asked of a transgender person, and that even transpeople will not ask them of each other. I only have 3 trans sisters - my three absolute closest friends - who I can really ask those questions of without making them raise their eyebrows and ask “WTF?”
Since I told folks they could ask any questions but I wouldn’t answer some, I take no offense whatsoever.
Jeeze Louise, you’ve become such a GIRL! (thinking) A cute one, but almost annoyingly girly. That’s what helped keep me clueless about my daughter’s boyfriend. He’s just a bloke. With a highish voice, but I have one, too.
I could understand the initial reasons why intersex babies were changed to be one or the other - in earlier society, being intersex was slightly less socially acceptable than being a leper, except at least you could hide it most of the time. But it was in almost all cases terrible and wrong.
Grossed out? No, that would be me when I start thinking about the mechanics. When I was reading about the procedures forty years ago in Human Sexuality class I had no idea it would someday be people I cared about.
Thank you for the information and the link. It makes me roll my eyes that non-center of gravity sports are the ones that come up for argument. I am interested in gymnastics, precisely because my school (years ago) had a big debate over a girl joining the boys gymnastics team because the boys had trampoline back then and the girls did not. She won, much to the chagrin of some parents. We other girls held her in awe.
I am glad to hear that Semanye has been able to continue to compete and I hope and pray her life is as she wants to live it (i.e., without intrusive press).
Probably too late for most (starting in just a few minutes on the east coast feed), but as I’m flipping through the satellite guide, the description on “What not to Wear” caught my eye - They’re working with Casey D. From the description:
“Casey is a transsexual who has been living as a woman for the past nine years.” Not sure if it will be standard reality-show BS, but given the discussion about use of fashion to blend in, it might be interesting.
What do you think of media portrayals of your people? Do you have a favorite? I’d ask for a “least favorite” but I’m sure that’s a well with no bottom. Even fairly positive portrayals have their disadvantages in my eyes. A Family Guy character transitioned from male to female. She came out of surgery looking great in a skirt, heels, new (longer) hair, and make-up. I know it’s just a cartoon, but come on! Nobody looks that good even watching surgery, let alone being a patient of such major surgery. Took me right out of the show for a few minutes. (Og help me, I love offensive humor.)
Wow, the old me* would have made a 10-paragraph rant about how badly my people** are treated in the media, even in the “gay-friendly” media outlets.
A good portrayal of a transsexual woman in a real-world situation is the film Different for Girls, which stands out as an outlier for its decade. A group of transwomen watched this film at a party we had, and all of them pronounced it as excellent, sensitive, and witty in the correct way. The French film Another Woman is said to be very well done.
Many people like TransAmerica, and I confess I did at first, but I think the film is just a bit too lurid with a few scenes, and they make the main character very hapless.
I have heard that the recent handling of a transsexual character on the normally highly juvenile Two and a Half Men was well-done, but have not seen the show.
Many also make a lot out of Laverne Cox’s role in Orange is the New Black, but they seem to forget she’s a very minor character. She gets major props for being an actual transgender actress, however. I have also heard the transgender character in Glee, although very minor, is treated sensitively.
There was an older Cold Case episode which was absolutely heartbreaking and well done. A recent music video by Matt Nathanson (“Kinks Shirt”) has brought a tear to my eye on first viewing, as it has for many transwomen.
And I want to emphasize something here, which is a personal beef not just for me, but for every single transgender person I have ever spoken to or communicated with electronically on the issue. Having a cisgender actor/actress portray a transgender person is viewed about as badly as bad as seeing David Spade portraying Malcolm X, or Samuel L. Jackson portraying Pope John Paul II. We watch the films and programs with a pre-set cringe which is difficult to overcome (Different for Girls really does a good job, however).
The worst portrayals of us are on animated shows - even prime-time series such as Family Guy and The Simpsons can piss some of us off to the point where we won’t watch. Oh, I watch them, and then when a crude joke comes on about a crossdresser or transperson, usually Fierra and I will look at each other, sigh, and check the TV guide for something else that night. The Cleveland Show had a couple of really bad episodes.
Outside of animation, certain episodes of NCIS and Bones have been very insensitive. And I didn’t like the way The Crying Game was done.
We still have a very, VERY long way to go. It has however put another metaphorical bee in my bonnet to create a page listing transgender portrayals.
Which was ironically the younger me…
** It makes me sound Native American when I say that, but really it’s a good way of putting it - “my people.”
I’ve been reading this thread with interest, and have learned a lot. Thanks for starting it. The one thing I’ve found disturbing is the part where you guys are drinking beer and eating cookies. Ick.
My 16-year-old daughter is completely conversant in these issues, despite being straight and cis, so I suspect things are getting better as the younger generation comes to the fore, much the way other struggles for equal consideration and respect have been aided by time, and the death of the bigoted generation.
I was going to ask your opinion regarding Fallon Fox, but I’ve been reading up on the topic a bit, and I’m thinking you and I would have a similar opinion.
Incidentally I just noticed on her Wikipedia page that the MD who is cited as backing Fox fighting is named Villain. That’s kind of unfortunate.
How come? I don’t get why someone would be friends with you but refuse to hang out with you, or turn and walk away if you run into each other. What am I missing?
My experience isn’t a large-n, but the trans teens I know date each other, go to retreats and camps together, and seem to get along quite well. Hope that doesn’t change as they get older. I suspect it has a lot to do with transitioning much earlier in life, but I’m not entirely sure why,
You’ve been a Doper I respect for a heck of a long time. The type of dangly bits you haul around or don’t haul around don’t matter.
I respect the force of will you have exhibited - especially in the moment when you had a reason to NOT kill yourself: You recognized that moment and acted upon it.
I am truly glad you are still with us- in all ways.
Fox is someone I admire for standing up to a very high amount of abuse in a testosterone-fueled sport, where even the women in it feel they either have to act super-macho, or else they feel like they have to look like Barbarella.
Transmen, even early in their transition process, pass. I only ever met one transboy who didn’t pass, and I think he wasn’t making any effort at all. Once the beard and body hair comes in and they strap down their breasts, and their voice changes naturally from the testosterone, then they basically can pass pretty much 100%.
Whereas a lot of us don’t. And some of us never will, ever, no matter how much we spend on surgery or anything else.
Transmen are acutely aware of being outed. They live and work in the world of men full-time. Men, generally, do not react well to the presence of transgender people in their private places. Transmen can be attacked, beaten, raped, and killed for being in the wrong bathroom. Sort of like how transwomen can be if they are forced to use the wrong bathroom.
So my impression, from talking to them and from their behavior, is that in some cases (note I stress some) we are an embarrassment to them, and they shun us.
I have transman friends, so I am by no means lumping them all together. But I have never seen a transwoman give a transman a cold shoulder like I’ve seen the other way around - never.
I agree with you - transgirls can typically pass very well, so they are less likely to stand out. But another part of it might be just having better solidarity overall as a community. And the youthful enthusiasm and acceptance of youth.
That’s what helped keep me clueless about my daughter’s boyfriend. He’s just a bloke. With a highish voice, but I have one, too.
