GAH - I just realized how sanctimonious that sounds - all I meant was that I was trying to do the right thing and trying to be a good person - I wasn’t any angel or anything. I was just trying to do the best I knew how to do, if that makes more sense.
If Missy2U doesn’t mind I’ll chime in here to say I also surrendered a child to adoption. It was 35yrs ago, quite literally a different era.
But, on reflection, I believe I’ll wait to hear from Missy2U before saying anything further.
I don’t think it sounds sactimonious at all. You really DID do a great thing, and you deserve to be proud of it, because it couldn’t have been easy, but you thought it was right. That’s pretty cool. 
Missy2U, what would you have said, or what do you think should be said, to someone who disagreed with your decision to put the child up for adoption? Just " none of your damn business?" See, I was once assaulted by a stranger in my own home. My(now ex) husband was at work. We’d been trying to get pregnant so I wasn’t using birth control, and I was then scared I would be pregnant, because I wouldn’t know who the child belonged to until it was born. I am pro-choice on the abortion issue, see, but could never do it myself. If someone had told me I should keep the child, no matter who was the father, well, I wouldn’t have wanted to put that on my husband.
Please, please, please say what you want or need to say - our experiences and histories may be so much different - I know I am not alone or unique in my experience or what I went through - it’s important that EVERYONE’S side be told for people to understand what birth parents go through. Elbows, if you ever want to talk, email me. I understand the era you’re talking about - that’s when I was born. And adopted too. And hugs.
SarafeenahThanks, but there are a whole lot of more courageous women out there than me - I think Baker is one of 'em.
Baker, in my mind, we do what we have to do, to live with ourselves and our decisions. Know what I mean? I can’t, and never will, judge any woman who makes a decision about something as intensly personal as giving birth and raising a child, no matter what the circumstances, no matter what. That’s a PERSONAL decision - and, if someone thinks I did wrong by giving up a child that I couldn’t take care of, well to hell with them. And if someone thinks YOU did something wrong, well then to hell with THEM. They don’t live in our shoes. And they don’t walk that mile with us. And you know what? My current husband and I had an abortion six years ago. And I refuse to go into, in this forum, why we did - let’s just say it was our decision, as a family. So does that make me a monster? In some people’s minds, probably yes. As long as we can live with our decisions, and can face ourselves in the mirror in the morning, you know what? We’re good. And by the way, when do you want to get together for a drink? I LIKE YOU!! 
For y’all in general, in fact, I worried about any flak I might take about even talking about this, but I trust you guys, and I only started this thread because I believe I could trust the dopers not to judge me.
In the end, it boils down to you do the best you can - and it ain’t on NOBODY to judge us. No matter what our decisions are. We do the best we can. When we have to do it.
I’m outta here - see you tomorrow. Husband is getting pissy because I’m not watching TV with him. 
Missy2U,
Thank-you for starting this thread. Also, thank you for your decision. There are couples out there that can’t have kids and I am pleased to read that some mothers make the decision to give their children up for adoption.
I respect how hard of a decision it must have been, but it does give people like me and **babygirl **hope.
SSG Schwartz