Actually it’s Astrogirl that has the problem.
Actually it’s not really a problem, but I feel like causing a little trouble for Astroboy and maybe helping the U.S.-Korea realtions a little.
Please help Astroboy. Please help him.
My advice is to take more than eight minutes. But I could be wrong.
-Rue.
Oh, and not discussing your sex life in an International Arena might help too.
I humbly volunteer to find the truant Grafenberg spot for her.
J/K
Aside from anecdotal evidence (which abounds), I would posit the best explanation is that there is indeed an area dense with nerve endings, but it is neither the magical area of instant orgasm, nor is it equally sensitive in all women. Consider the nipples for example: There are indeed women who can orgasm by having them stimulated, and on the other end of the spectrum there are also women for whom attention paid to this area is a waste of time. The g-spot is a worthy quest (of more than 8 minutes) but one should be prepared to find that it does nothing for the lady and other modes of pleasure must be explored.
Cecil’s article: http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_069.html
And wouldn’t “Grafenberg” be a great name for a dog?
“Spot is so cliché…”
WARNING: You must be 18 to read this post. Do not try this at home. Eat your vegetables. Stay in school. Stretch first to avoid injury.
Once upon a time there was a boy. His name was Star Male Child. He had really flaky parents, and thus the name. But we’re not going to call the boy that. Even with “cut and paste”, “Star Male Child” is too unwieldy. We’ll call him Hector. “Hi Hector!” we’d say if we saw him on the street. Why “Hector”? you ask? Does it mean something? Maybe it does and maybe it doesn’t. Sometimes in stories like this the names are important. Sometimes they’re not. No need to get all Freudian. If you want the name to mean something, then fine, it means something. If not, that’s OK too.
Hector had many adventures. He wound up in a far away country. He got a job teaching his Mother Tongue to the locals. That’s not as gross as it sounds, he was just an English teacher.
As it would happen, Hector fell in love with a girl. Her name was Star Female Child. That was just creepy, how close their names were, so we’ll call her Mei Chigk. It’s not a great name, but it’s better than Hoo Chee. So there you go.
Hector wanted to give Mei Chigk a gift. O boy did he want to give her a gift. O what a big gift it was, too.
He could have had a frank and honest discussion with Mei Chigk, but how funny would that be? Instead he went to the barnyard and asked one of the animals there what he should do. “Of course!” you say. “What else would he do?” He went to speak to the wisest animal there. A donkey. It was a really wise donkey.
“O Smart Ass…” Hector started.
“The “O” is for her and I like to be called “Wise Donkey”. OK?”
“Alright. Hey Wise Donkey, what should I do?”
“Get out of town.”
“What? You’re done already?”
“No. That’s my first piece of advice. Get out of town.”
“Why?”
“It’s hard for some women to have screaming monkey sex where everyone who hears her knows her. Think about it boy. She has to look these people in the eye everyday.”
“Oh. What else?”
“Give her presents.”
“Like Hershey bars and nylons?”
“Aren’t you the traditionalist? No. The chocolate is a good idea. Real good chocolate. And flowers. Babes like flowers.”
“Where should we go?”
“Out to the country. That’s always safe. Like a Bed and Breakfast, or whatever they have around here like that. Something nice and not too touristy.”
“What should we do there?”
“Take her out and show her a good time. A museum or a show or something. What does she like? Do that. And dinner. I’ve heard spicy foods get women hot. Or Chinese food. There are a lot of Chinese people you know. Or Indian food, for the same reason. Get a little liquor in her too. “Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker” you know.”
“What then?”
“Geez, do I have to draw you a picture? OK. Start by treating her like a Cherished Echidna.”
“A what?”
“Cherished Echidna.”
“That makes no sense.”
“It’s a metaphor. Do you want my advice or should I just go rub my ass on that post over there? Go on? OK. Treat her nice. Be polite and attentive. Babes like that. And when you get back to your room, kiss her. A lot. Don’t go straight for her boobs, either. Lots of kissing first, then you can grope her. But keep kissing her. Leave her clothes on too. Wait for her to take them off. Really get her wound. Then kiss her whole body. Start at the top and work down. When you get “down there”, take your time. The whole point is for her to be comfortable and aroused. It’s her pace. And you know the old saying “A fast tongue can make up for any shortcoming.””
“No, I’ve never heard that one,” said Hector.
“Well, you know it now. OK, while your have your mind on business, and by “mind” I really mean “tongue” and I don’t mean “business” at all, keep you hands busy. And not just her boobs, either. You do know what a G-spot is don’t you?”
“Well, I do now…”
“Good. Try to use that to your advantage. Everything should work out fine.”
“Thanks Wise Donkey.”
“No problem. Oh! One more thing. Take a whisk with you. You never know…”
Uncle Rue, sex advice guy.
Echidna??? Echidna??? What, were you watching a PBS documentary or something?!?
A masterful tale, Rue… You’re my hero!
Aesop, be damned!
Really, Astroboy, if you want a woman to achieve the kind of bone-jarring, mind-shattering, jaw-wrenching pinnacle of pleasure that leaves her glassy-eyed and spent, you have to look at the obstacles in the path of unspeakable bliss.
1)Rue was on the right track- do little things to make her feel like you’re paying attention way before you hit the sheets.
2)When you begin kissing and caressing, tell her what you find attractive about her. (Do not be cliche.)
3)Let her know how much you WANT her, NEED her, and that you want to make her feel the way she makes you feel.
4)This part is important, so pay attention. MAKE SURE SHE IS RELAXED! Relaxed leads to secure, which leads to confident, which leads to exhilerated, which leads to mind-blowing orgasm.
Now, I must go either play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon or co-write a book with Deepak Chopra.
C’mon Dpers. You can do better than this. If you won’t do it for Astroboy, do it for Astrogirl. Think of Astrogirl.
For the record, I will not repeat this shameless bump. I thought we could rally around and help one of our own. I guess I was wrong.
[sub]Poor, poor Astrogirl…[/sub]
Every woman is different. What gets me thrashing [sub]tongue work on the clit combined with digital penetration, yeah baby[/sub] may not work for Astrogirl.
Take your time and really experiment. There is so much to try…licking, kissing, sucking…
::runs and takes cold shower::
Personally, if I don’t have someone’s full attention, I’m unable to enjoy myself.
I also have to know that my partner is very into what we’re doing.
Otherwise, it’s a no-go.
DUDE, I am SOOOOOO sorry. I feel VERY badly for you… “I don’t know” shesh… 
The best way to learn how to push someone’s buttons is to see how they do it themselves. Perhaps, if could watch her, er… tune her instrument, you would find out to which hot zones to pay attention. Besides, with most women, it’s easier to hit the roof the second go round and with such a show to inspire you, what follows could be quite interesting.
HEY!!!
I just saw this! How DARE you all discuss our sex life in a public forum?:mad: Why I oughta… What? I brought it up first in a public for…
Oh.
OK, then let’s talk!
Cherry, she DOESN’T “tune her own instrument”! That’s part of the problem… she (as far as I know) has NEVER had the big O! She doesn’t know how…
Truthfully, I do all of the above! She knows I love her, she knows that we are made for each other (trust me, two people who are as screwed up as we are fit each other like, uh, uh, uh… jigsaw puzzle pieces(?)). Several times she has made me promise not to die before her, because she cannot live without me (she says she will kill herself if I die first… not sure if she’s serious.) And no, she’s not psycho… just very much in love (as am I). Foreplay goes on until she asks me for more (because I like foreplay too, and want it to last as long as possible…)
I started to type out the story of our first time, etc., but then I thought ‘Hey! Some things have to remain secret between lovers!’ so you guys get no details… Sorry!
We dated almost a year before we did it the first time, and it was almost another year before I saw her naked the first time (in the light)… that may tell you something about how she feels about sexuality and nakiddity…
I honestly feel that she won’t have an orgasm until we are legally married… I think she’s just got too many hangups… she’s coming along slowly, and each time we “do it” she’s a bit more open… but I think it’s gonna take marriage to pull the final plug…
But, still, I’m open to suggestions! Any females out there who were really uptight and learned to let go? I’d love to hear how you did.
And Rue, 8 MINUTES??? If I ever meet you in real life, you’re going to get SUCH a smack upside the head!
BTW: if any of us EVER meet IRL (ESPECIALLY if Astrogirl is present!) this thread NEVER HAPPENED! Serious! She wouldn’t kill me; she’d just run away and I’d never see her again… she’d probably spend the rest of her life living in a basement somewhere…
There was some really interesting reading over here.
Blame pessor. He started it.
Yeah, I saw that one… even posted there once (nothing interesting, don’t bother looking…). 
Astro - speaking as someone for whom the Big O took a long time coming [sub]that’s a glorious pun isn’t it?[/sub], the best advice I can give you is to encourage her to explore herself. She has to find out what she likes for herself. No matter how much in love you are and how much she trusts you, the likelyhood of her having her first orgasm with you present is not great. The added pressures and distractions, no matter how well/un-intentioned they are, may not help at all.
I imagine you’ve told her there’s nothing wrong with touching herself, and that you’d be happy for her to explore what she likes. I don’t know Astrogirl’s specific hang-ups, but I’m guessing she feels like Good Girls don’t do that sort of thing, or that it’s icky. Be patient with her, keep encouraging her. Perhaps when you’re touching her, you could take her hand in yours and do it together. That’s a nice half-way house until she feels comfortable doing more. It might take time, but I suspect you think she’s worth it
[sub]And don’t worry, I promise not to say a thing should I ever meet you. Heeee.[/sub]
Astro, I stick with my eight minutes claim. If you look back at the original (linked) thread, you’ll see…
that’s marked at 08:27 AM on my computer. (I’m not hip to how the time stamp works, but I think it’s the time you post +/- the offset for your time zone.)
Then you’ll see…
marked at 08:35 AM.
08:35 - 08:27 = eight minutes.
That’s not counting boot up time for your computer, logging on to The SDMB.
Now, you wouldn’t be pleasuring the delectable Astrogirl whilest on the computer. Would you?
I started this thread as a tongue in cheek (if that’s where you tongue is, that could be part of the problem) sex advice thread. I picked on you, well, just because. And like I said “I (felt) like causing a little trouble”.
Don’t even think about smacking me upside my head, neither. With all the smacks I get on a regular basis, I’ve built up quite the callous. You’d probably just hurt your hand.
(And in all seriousness, which I hate, you two will be OK. Just give her time to come around. And enjoy the ride.)
Yer pal.
-Rue.