Almost four months ago, I posted this about my grandmother, who passed away in March.
Last night, her husband of over 60 years, my grandfather, died of a thoracic aortic aneurism. It happened very quickly - my uncle called from Florida around 9:30, and he died at 9:42.
It seems like he just didn’t know how to live without her. The grandfather I saw over these last four months just wasn’t the same grandpa I grew up with.
Even though I’m angry that we lost both of them so close together, I know the first thing they did was have a dance together.
Generally speaking, if a widow/widower makes it to the first anniversary of their spouse’s death, they’ll be okay. Four months sounds like he did his best to hang in there, but just couldn’t pull it off.
I’m sorry for your loss, but dwell on the positives. No life lasts forever, and he clearly had found a lifemate. And sixty years is a very long time. I certainly hope I’m fortunate enough to be able to spend 60 years married to my wife.
The song “Someday” by Sugar Ray was a radio hit shortly after we got married and the lyrics always make me think of my wife, and how if I live to be very old, I will surely think of her this way (whether I outlive her or not):
*Someday, when my life has passed me by,
I’ll lay around and wonder why you were always there for me…
Some way, when the sun begins to shine,
I hear a song from another time,
And fade away.*
I seem to be handling this better than my grandmother’s death. Maybe because he just seemed so lost without her. and it felt like he so wanted to join her.
My grandma taught me a lot. My grandpa taught me what she didn’t. And I hope they’re proud of their family and their grandchildren.
I have a lot of work to do to make sure my son knows all about them, and to teach him everything they taught me.
Sorry to hear that you’ve lost two loved ones so close together. I hope it gives you solace to focus on the love and devotion they had for each other for so many years.
I’m sorry, ElzaB. My grandpa and grandma were married 52 years. He managed five years after she was gone, but he didn’t like it much. What I remember most about them was how he loved to tease her, and how she loved to pretend to be angry at the teasing.
There’s a Springsteen song that always makes me think of long-married couples, even though it’s written for lovers who are just starting their lives together.
Now there’s a beautiful river in the valley ahead
There ‘neath the oak’s bough soon we will be wed
Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees
I’ll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me
Darlin’ I’ll wait for you
Should I fall behind
Wait for me
.