My story is close to Squish’s. I got spanked regularly until 8 or so. Then on it was the, “explain to me why you are idiot and did what you did?” thing, which is MUCH worse than a paddling. I use that on my older kids now (4,5,7). I did get spanked when I was in my early teens, but I dont recall what for exactly. Had something to do with being an ass in front of my grandpa. I felt like a tool then.
dead0man
I think Argentina probably deserves a spanking more than Chile.
I have a feeling that the NSPCC wants spanking not to happen at all…
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/html/Home/newsandcampaigns/fullstopcampaign.htm
Once they’re old enough to be able to explain why they did what they did, the spankings should cease. My 7-year-old son has the ability to think and reason, and when I ask him “Why did you do [colossally stupid thing]?” he generally has an answer. My 4-year-old daughter does not, so if you say, “Why did you fill your mega-blocks with water and pour it all over your bedroom floor, thus reactivating all of the nasty smells in the carpet, after having been both asked and told repeatedly not to do so?” her answer will be “Bu - bu - bu - bu - IDUNNO!!!”
Explain rationally to her why she should stop and give her time-outs when she continues? Water on the carpet every day. Smack her ass and explain that that is not the heck allowed? No water for three days.
When she’s 7, I’ll happily explain. At 4, she still thinks drawing on the walls and carpet and playing in dirty mop water is a Good Idea, so I’m going with what works to keep her safe and me sane.
What Hamadryad said for the (now) 10 year old. Haven’t had to use SMACKIE for years.
As for the two year old, she doesn’t do anything to deserve it (yet).
Don’t cry when you’re spanked, Argentina!
Holy crap, people. Let the chile puns go, already. If you love something so much, set it free, and all that. It was funny…well, it was never funny.
Chile - passe? Mkay.
So should chirren only be seen and not heard?
We’ve pretty much stopped swatting/spanking the seven year old. He’s old enough to be tortured in much more fun ways, now. Since he’s got a Gameboy Advance, a computer and a TV, punishing works just fine, now. I can’t wait to sentence him to writing a 2 page paper on what he did and why he won’t do it again a la my mother. Sigh…good times.
Now the two year old. Sheesh. He gets swatted on the bottom or gets his hand slapped, depending on what mischief he’s found his way into. No spankings yet. Well once when he threw a remote control at the seven year old’s face. Trust me, he hasn’t done that again.
“Chirren”? ::tries to come up with a joke for that and fails::
No, in my very humble opinion, definitely not. If you don’t hold regular conversations with your children, how are they going to learn to communicate outside their age group? Also, talking–and I mean talking, not lecturing–is a great way for them to learn that people of any age have interesting things to say.
I don’t have children, but when I was growing up, we all sat around the supper table every night and simply conversed. No TV on, no one excused until supper was finished. Everybody expected to contribute to the conversation.
I’m not trying to give the impression that my parents were perfect in any way, but I think overall they had some good ideas on child-rearing.
I think… spanking is only for “you must NEVER do this again, EVER under any circumstances or you will die”
like…3 year old kid is trying to put his head in a meat grinder… spank him and say “NO! NEVER DO THAT!”
spanking should only ever be used when any failure to explain would be fatal
The last I know of Mr. Kitty spanking his son (with a belt) was at age 11 (almost 12), in an instance that we still joke about (but damned if the kid never, ever, ever did it again). Can’t remember the last time he spanked his daughter… probably before I came along. I know his ex carried the spanking thing longer than that, then switched to the face-slapping thing, which I find horrific… I think that should ONLY be used in instances such as what EJsGirl and MisterThyristor describe, not for everyday infractions.
Double-digits is probably a good rule-of-thumb, unless (as with my stepson) the infraction is so heinous it deserves a physical punishment.
I was spanked as a child. As an adult I decided I would never put another child through
that humiliation & oppression. Odd thing is, the people who spanked me so throughly when I was
a child deny doing it–ever!
We’ve never spanked the Perfect Child[sup]TM[/sup], but then she’s always been a pretty good kid. She’d get put in the corner for not doing a chore or for some unacceptable behavior, and when she got a little older, we’d ground her. She had to miss a sleep-over once for some offense.
Now that she’s got car keys, I figured that’d be the ultimate punishment. So far, we’ve not had to play that card. She really is a good kid. Or is that what all parents say just before they get a call from the jail??
I think my folks stopped spanking me sometime around the age of seven or eight – I can’t remember being spanked any older than that.
Actually, when I was about fourteen or fifteen, I realized that I was more physically fit than my parents were, and that I could defend myself if they tried to hit me. And that I didn’t take drugs or have unprotected sex, and that I got good grades in school, so they’d have real trouble kicking me out of the house. And that they weren’t exactly giving me a buttload of privileges that they could legally take away, so they couldn’t effectively ground me.
So I stopped obeying my parents except when it suited me to do so. I was a cocky lad.
Strangely, I was sitting around with my mother and siblings recently, and she vehemently denied ever spanking us. It’s not like she was abusive about it, but it was pretty weird for her to have forgotten so completely all the times that she spanked us kids.
Daniel
I don’t spank, but spanking a kid that is older than about 7 or 8 seems just… wrong. They are too old for their punishment to be a jarring “wake up” to alert them to danger or whatever (which is really the only way I can justify spanking in my mind, even though I still don’t agree with it for my child) and need to be punished with a more consequence/rational sort of thingie.
Humiliation? I think the only humiliating think about getting spanked is the knowledge that you got caught doing something wrong. And maybe I’m defining “oppression” differently than you are–to me, oppression is something like, “You’re a woman, so we’re going to cut off your clitoris and sew your labia together,” not, “You did something wrong, and we’re going to punish you for it.”
What punishments other than spanking do you non-spankers feel are effective? I’m wondering because of two incidents/cases–
- I had a next-door neighbor who was a single mother. Her four-year-old regularly disobeyed her and refused to climb the stairs; she had to actually carry a four-year-old up the stairs! We used to laugh, because she’d say, “I’m going to count to three,” and when she got to three, she’d start begging him! :eek:
- Just last summer we had a tenant in my (small) building whose three-year-old son screamed. No rhyme or reason, he just SCREAMED. Constantly. 24-7. As far as any of the rest of us could tell, she never punished him in any way shape or form.
When to stop spanking? I guess when they can understand why what they did is wrong. I was never spanked much, mostly because I didn’t deserve it much. I don’t remember too much of it. Last time I can remember is when my mom had to tell me to stand up so she could spank me. I guess I was be enough to understand things after that.
I’m 19; my sister’s almost 15. Our parents still hit us as a punishment. However, instead of the level-headed spankings we got as small children, they instead lash out at us out of utmost anger. This only serves to piss us off even more and doesn’t makes us behave at all, especially’s mom little game of hitting us in the face when we don’t even expect it.
" Humiliation? I think the only humiliating think about getting spanked is the knowledge that
you got caught doing something wrong."
Depends on who decides what is ‘wrong’, but I can easily tell you that spanking is ’ wrong’,
so should we spank the spanker?
Alot of adults get spanked on their birthdays, don’t they? Sure do. I bet there is a lot more
spanking going on then people let up. Maybe someone can ask Cecil why we spank on
birthdays & its considered loving not humiliation?