Something kind of mundane drifted through my head, in the wake of a discussion with Ms. Right and one of her Livejournal entries about the conversation. At what point do people call each other their boyfriend/girlfriend?
Personally, I always thought it was at a point when two people decide they want to see each other exclusively, and both of them are comfortable with the term. But up until lately I had been very careful with the term, because typically I would be in a realtionship where I cared about the other person much more than they cared about me.
Would you say that time is a factor necessarily? If there is great chemistry and both people are crazy about each other, is there any harm in considering their significant other their boyfriend/girlfriend?
It’s by mutual agreement. At least the way I see it.
At some point in the dating process, I ask where we stand, if we want to date exclusively, etc, etc. If that all works out well, then I call her my girlfriend, assuming she’s okay with that. I dated one woman for 5 years and she always hated the word “girlfriend” so I didn’t use it when she was around, but it was the most convenient and accurate label with which to refer to her when speaking to others.
If you hit it off quickly, and both people agree, there’s no reason not to use the boyfriend/girlfriend labels right quick.
Am I missing something here?
BTW, I never read to the end of your OKCupid thread where no one was messaging you…but I’m getting the impression that you’ve found someone you’re fond of. Way to go!
The concept of a couple being “an item” came from the gossip columns. So, it’s, “Baby, they’re whispering about us. I guess we’re an item.”
silently does happy dance, quickly regains composure
Yeah, I met a woman through okcupid, and we really hit it off. And it was a mutual thing in terms of the label. Both of us used the word ‘potential’ when we were talking about it amongst our respective friends, because we didn’t want to assume before knowing exactly how the other person felt. So on January 23 we had a frank discussion about it, and we both agreed. It was very, very quick, and that is the main reason I’m asking because I never sat down and really thought about it before.
I happen to have a copy of a ‘Pre-Relationship Agreement’ Standard boilerplate form, and it states:
3. Definition of Relationship
Should the relationship proceed past the first “fix-up” both parties mutually agree to use the following terminology in describing their said ‘dating’: For the first thirty (30) days both parties consent to say they are “going out.” (This neither implies nor states any guarantee of exclusivity.) Following the first thirty (30) days said parties may say they are “seeing somebody” and may be referred to by third parties as “an item”. Sixty (60) days following the commencement of the first date either member may elect to use the terms “girl/boyfriend” or “lover” and their mutal acquaintances may refer to them as “a couple”. Under no circumstances are the phrases “my better half”, “the little woman”, “the old ball and chain” or “my old man/lady” acceptable.
Further, if both members of the party consent, this timetable may be accelerated; however if either party “gets too serious” and disregards this schedule, the other party may dissolve the relationship on the grounds of “moving too fast” and may be once again said to be “on the market”.
Hope that helps, IANAL,JASA
I am not a lawyer, just a smartass