Have you never heard of knees?
Thus my hole in the ground solution. Doesn’t require anything extra, just your hands and the will to dig as deep as necessary. Into the ground that is. 
Ever notice how people’s mouths are lot higher up than genitals?
The joke predates that song’s 2000 release by a good 30 years that I know of. Older folks may have known it even longer.
Unless her legs are much much longer, I suppose the man can insert and do some calf raises for penetration.
Talk about humping a dead fish though. If the man is strong enough he could lift and carry this super rigid (frozen??) woman to a bed and proceed there.
Her stiffness would aid in carrying, something like a human barbell.
He can also have her stand with her legs farther apart, she would be shorter then.
Not sure if anything is worth that much effort. Better to have a cigarette and call it a night!
There’s an especially zany Monty Python skit with one of their regular ensemble payers and some visiting actress. They’re doing some business on a beach where the scene ends up with her standing in a hole and him standing on a wooden soap box next to it.
No penis ensues, but the rest of the connotations are pretty obvious.
So you wanted to know females and males can physically interact while standing if there is a great difference in their height…and using “kissing” as an example never occurred to you?
Err, wouldn’t one of them have to bend their legs for pretty much any combination of heights? If this is a serious question, I am really puzzled by what you think they would be doing, exactly.
Monty Python huh? Then why do I hear the Benny Hill theme in my head whenever I envision this?
Let’s get women of various heights and conduct an experiment. In the interest of fighting ignorance, of course.
O…M…G… That means oral sex is impossible!
Hire a midget, or a person of short stature, stand on his or her shoulders and make it a party.
Scott of the Sahara? “I played Mrs John the Baptist standing in a ditch!”
I never took an anal sex vibe from that (but then I’m not certain I’d heard of anal sex back then either). I just thought it was a short, male actor joke.
Maybe Benny did a similar schtick at one point? Agree that Benny was much “dirtier” humor than MP was.
Just to clarify, the point of the MP skit wasn’t simulated sex. It was general zaniness and doing increasingly silly things for increasingly pointless reasons. Which ended up with a suggestive moment that may or may not have been their goal all along. It was fairly subtle.
Handstands, dude.
This thread would be much shorter and a lot less funny.
Man, I always come in at the ass end of these things.
Handshakes!
Moderator Action
This thread veered out of GQ territory almost from the beginning. I think it’s gone far enough. Thread closed.