I don’t mean “where can I meet a larger woman to sleep with,” I mean “I’m trying to figure out the logistics with the woman I am currently seeing.” We are both somewhat rotund, and my ahem “male apparatus” is, alas, of normal length, so we are presented with a strategic dilemma.
This problem became apparent the first time we went all the way, about two weeks ago. The evening did not conclude to our satisfaction. I’d rather not repeat this experience, because I really like this woman, and want to give her what she wants. (And that is as much of me as she can get, if you know what I mean. I’m trying not to be too graphic here.)
But she doesn’t like being on top, missionary is unsatisfactory as well, and we are too disparate in height (14 inches) for doggy style to be practical – I know, because we tried all three!
Any suggestions would be appreciated. I know there are some larger female Dopers; what has worked for you ladies in the past?
IANALG (I am not a large guy), but a position that is often recommended in a number of circumstances, like when the Mrs. is preggers, is as follows:
She’s on her back.
You are, let’s say, on her right.
You are on your left side facing her.
Her right leg is over your right leg. (sort of like sitting in your lap)
Her left leg is between your legs.
You have to adjust to find the right angle, and very often you are not be able to kiss, but you can usually achieve pretty good penetration.
Hmm. “Sex” … “bigger” … “Lizard”? Maybe this will help: **Cecil Adams ** onHow did dinosaurs have sex? No offense intended. I’m a pretty big guy myself.
I can second what both NutMagnet and Kal said. I am a large woman, my hubby is an increasingly large guy, and both these positions work well for us. The spoon style (his front to my back), even allows kissing (but may not if your heights are so disparate), by my craining my neck around, allowing him access to my face. Another that works well, a variant of doggy-style: I kneel on the end of the bed, legs spread (sorry, there’s no way to say this delicately), my chest is usually down on the bed, hubby stands behind me. The height of the bed means that differences in our height don’t matter. This allows for really deep and satisfying penetration. Also, if I squeeze my thighs around his thighs in this position, it drives him nuts!!
Have fun! And good luck
Hm. So this height difference, since it’s 14", I’m guessing you are taller than her. I’ve dealt with an 8" height difference in doggie style before (trying not to go TMI here) but since I’m female and I was the taller one, it was a simple matter of moving my knees out to decrease the height of my…um… bits. Since it’s the other way around, could you maybe get some pillows to put under her knees to raise her up? Or put her on something taller?
One position that may work if you are both fairly large of tummy is if she lies on her back, knees up, and you lie on your side at right angles, with her legs over you. Otherwise, start looking around the house for cushiony stuff that adds up to the right height, and just prop bits up until things collide properly. Creativity is what makes you good, after all.
I know, I’m going to be called a “fat-basher” for having said this, but bear with me.
You’re seeking a proximate solution to this problem, when it makes more sense to seek an ultimate solution.
Analogy: Suppose I have a large hat – think one big enough to cover Marge Simpson’s blue 'do.
I post a question on the SDMB – How can I fit into my VW Beetle with this large hat on?
Dopers respond with various solutions, such as get a sunroof put in and drive around with your hat sticking out the roof of your car. Others chime in that this doesn’t work well in inclement weather, and would induce curious cops to pull you over, etc.
Now, all these solutions are proximate solutions. They are beating around the bush and ignoring the ultimate solution to the problem, namely take off the damn hat!
Lose weight, and your parts will fit together a hell of a lot better.
Sex will be a hell of a lot better and you’ll have sex longer (per session and per lifetime).
Challenge your new GF to engage in a mutual plan of eating less food and exercising more. You will grow closer together with such a plan, both spiriitually and literally.
Have her lay on her left side with her right leg up behind her. Now straddle her left leg crawl up and engage docking systems. Lift her right leg up on your right leg to relieve her of some of the strain of holding the leg back. Now go at it like horny teenagers.
Spiff, I don’t think you’re being a fat basher, but I do think you’re missing the point of the thread. The OP asked for advice on how he and his girlfriend can have sex right now. Not how they can make their sex life better in the long term, or why they’re having a hard time having sex.
I can’t imagine that any overweight person in America is unaware that their lives would be better if they were thinner. So while youre advice was clearly well-intentioned, I think it was inappropriate for the subject at hand. Just my opinion.
both my partner and i are less than stick like, with a massive height difference, so we usually end up engaging in various non-crotch on crotch sex acts.
depending on how sexually open your gf is there are plenty of sex toys and what not which will allow you to skirt the fat issue.
Strange you should ask that. I actually thought about starting another thread on THIS topic. She is sexually open - in fact, she is BIsexual. But she doesn’t want to use sex toys! Not at all!
I really can’t understand it. She’d have sex with another woman before she’d let me use a dildo on her, even though it means I could get her off faster and more reliably. Even she admits it’s a little irrational.
I’d seriously consider this one. Made our sex life much, much more fun. Yes, intercourse is important, however, if you have to make a huge deal out of it, or it’s just not something that’s “easy” then consider other means to reach satisfaction.
I weigh about 300 lbs. Hubby was up to 270, but is down to 220 lbs. I am quite a bit shorter than he is. Doggie style is great! Or just bending over standing up. Also my personal fave is me on my back, legs up straight so that my heels are about at his shoulders and he is in me deep! I have more control than plain missionary, and with me doubled over, my vagina is shortened so that it feels much deeper. Also since my legs support his weight, he can use his hands better and mine are free to do as pleases him. It helps if she is strong and flexible. This will not work with a partner who is very long and thick, but works just fine for a normal sized man.
Also, I have found standing up and bracing my self on the bed, or on say the edge of the bathtub worked. My hubby could bend his knees a bit and I was on my toes, but it worked.
Also, me on my back, at the edge of the bed, or on the dining room table, feet on his shoulders and he stands and thrusts into me. Make sure not to flip the dining room table.
I have found having sex in the spoons position takes someone with more cock and better aim than my husband. ouch.
I’m trying not to be too graphic here.)