Ladies When It Comes To Size . . .

Okay, in the recent Penis Poll thread, a number of the female Dopers said firmly that they’d much rather spend the evening with Tiny Tim than Moby Dick. Having had a few medical devices shoved up my tailpipe ( :eek: ) a time or two in the past, I can well understand their reasoning. My question is this: What do you do when you discover your Prince Charming has more in common with Mr. Ed than you’d like? Assuming you don’t run shrieking into the night, of course.

I’m asking this because I’ve been with a few ladies who have found me to be larger than is comfortable, and I’d like to know (assuming I can ever get that lucky again) what I should do if the next woman I’m with finds me to be a tad larger than she’d like. I’d much rather have her screaming and thrashing about because she’s having a good time ( :smiley: ) and not because she feels like she’s giving birth to a baby elephant ( :frowning: ).

Just have lots of foreplay, be gentle and don’t be Mr. Rambo about it.

I’m a petite girl who’s had her share of equine sized men, and as long as they weren’t cavemen about it, I generally enjoyed myself.

As for Tiny Tim, sorry, I want passion, not a comedy. :smiley:

Tuckerfan, is this thread merely a poorly disguised excuse to bring attention to how well you’re endowed? :smiley:

Nope. As I’ve said before, my current luck is so bad that I couldn’t get laid in a two dollar whorehouse with a $1,000 bill clenched in my teeth. And as one poster pointed out in that thread, the sizes got larger the farther down you went and I posted near the top.

(Yeah, jjimm, I know you were joking, but I studiously tried not to make any claims about my size in the OP, or imply that I was porn star material. And it really bothers the hell out of me when my partner’s uncomfortable during sex.)

In that case, just call me the Court Jester.

depends on what you mean by large.

anything i can’t wrap my fingers around so they meet is no way-no how, going inside me! i don’t like being fisted, why the hell would i enjoy that?

anything over 8 inches just won’t go past a certain depth…SO STOP TRYING TO PUT IT DEEPER! you can seriously damage the urethra, and posterior cervix and bruise or tear things that way.

lots of lube, lots of foreplay and avoid positions which shorten the vagina, allow very deep penetration or tighten things up too much. also if you learn to thrust shallowly and slowly it’s better than very hard, very deep and very fast…obviously.

that rules out doggy, the oyster, her knees to her chest and standard missionary.

your best bet is girl-on-top because she can control how deep you go, or CAT because it’s shallow penetration with lots of clitoral stimulation.

does that help at all?

irishgirl, I’ve been around the block a few times, married twice and fancy myself not a prude, but what the heck are “the oyster”, “knees to her chest” and “CAT”?

Good advice otherwise.

I have had one encounter with Mr. Ginormous. I took one look at it and said, “Um…no…not really. I’d prefer NOT to look like John Wayne when I walk out of here.”

He wasn’t really insulted, though. Well, he didn’t have any complaints.

After your partner has a child, your largeness may be a blessing in disguise.

Oh my, irishgirl. I knew I wasn’t a very worldly person, but I had no idea how unworldly. What is the oyster and CAT?

Yeah, I’m with you jjimm.

What a wanker you are Tucker!

“to bring attention to how well you’re endowed?”

He got some money?
“2 : something that is endowed; specifically: the part of an institution’s income derived from donations”

One thing I learned from women is that there is another kind of penis, known as the “right size penis.”

Hey Tuckerfan, I feel for you, but have you thought of only dating women who have had children?
Excuse my ignorance, but don’t they have more flex down there?

What about getting a good ol’ book of positions? They should tell you what positions are best for shallow penetration, meaning, your partner’s “elongated” so it won’t hurt her so much. ::shrug::

A good book to get is Karma Sutra. There’s the old version, with the original (?) drawings in it, and a current version, with pictures in it (could be fun for you and partner to check out :wink: ). This not only shows you positions, what it will do, but it’s also a boo on the art of seduction, etc…I’ve been trying to talk my husband into getting it forever, and he’s acting like an ol’ fart :mad:

Good luck!

Tuckerfan, …so…um…what part of town do you live in? :wink:

Oh what the hell, no one believes me anyway. I’ve been with women who’ve had kids and some of them have had difficulty with it. And most of the women I’ve been with that we’ve tried her being on top (which I actually realy like) have had difficulties handling that as well.

And tag, I’ve tried various positions and in all of them I run into problems. Whether it be it thumps something inside that she finds painful, I can’t get enough leverage to get any movement, or I’m subject to “fallout” there just doesn’t seem to be a “good” one. (In some cases, not all.)

Welcome to the boards, BTW.

Hillbilly Queen, I told ya before, I’m in the trailer park behind Wal-Mart. :wink:

I think this is why my wife makes me sleep in a separate room nowadays. :smiley:

(Oh, sure, she says it’s because she needs to sleep with the son, in case he wakes up in the middle of the night or kicks off his blankets, but I know better…)

Er, actually I’ve always found “woman on top” to be the LEAST desirable position with a guy who’s extra-endowed. You get better penetration in that position, which is not really what you want in this situation.

My advice? Lube, lube, lube. Then more lube. With lube, all problems can be solved. Also, start slow and give her time to “relax”. The vagina is fairly elastic, and if you start very slowly, it has time to soften a bit, as opposed to if you just start ramming away, in which case nobody is happy. I hope this makes sense.

Oh, that’s right. You told me in that fart thread.

O.k., this is the part where you’re supposed to ask me where I live.
. ::crickets::
. ::tapping fingers::
. Well anyway, I’m about 3 blocks from the Hospital.

I’m still curious as to what the ‘Oyster’ is.

Well, other than the lube part, taking it slow has been my SOP. Oh and Hillbilly Queen, I’d invite you over so you could give me some, um, lessons, but I read your thread about wanting to stick things up your husband’s ass, and I gotta say that there’s no way I could find an evening which included such things enjoyable. (Well, having them shoved up my ass, that is. If you want to shove things up your husbands, that’s another matter entirely.) :wink:

I believe you! I suggest the woman-on-top position but only if she has something like a headboard to hang onto so that she really does have complete control over the situation. Then you if that isn’t killing her maybe switch positions to something like the missionary position and maybe it won’t be so uncomfortable then. Mostly I suggest taking your time.

And yeah, what’s the oyster? Although I have an idea of what it is.

Good Lord, I was just making conversation, 'cause we live in the same town. And I never said I wanted to shove anything up anybody’s butt. I really wish you people would get your damn facts straight before you make your snide little remarks.

I’m sorry you can’t get laid, and I’m sorry you have to start a thread about your HUGE PENIS, to get attention.