They’d have to demonstrate an open-mindedness in most other things. Some Christians can be open to some things and closed to others, like most people, and that would be cool. But a lot are closed minded in almost every way that matters to me, so they would be out.
Having said that, lack of belief in religious bullshit is important to me.
A believer? Yeah, no problem. Someone heavily into organised religion, I very much doubt it.
Although I had an on-again off-again relationship for several years with someone who actually believed in (ugh!) astrology, so never say never.
I would never date anyone with any sort of religious ‘faith’.
Depends how strong a believer they are. Some people say they believe in god but their religion doesn’t affect their day to day life in the least, they mostly believe by default because that was how they were raised. I would have no problem dating someone like that, specially since that encompasses most of the population. Someone who actually goes to church every weekend and prays regularly for whom religion is a big part of their life? yeah, no way.
I’m not even interested. Its a deal breaker for me. It would take a** very** good lady to change my mind.
Does this principle extend to other aspects to a person than what I’m discussing (moderate, non-preaching, not-trying-to-convert-you theism)? Like, say, skin color? Let’s try that one:
“Intolerant is not wanting to work or live next to someone that has a darker skin color than you. Not wanting to have a long-term intimate relationship with them isn’t intolerant.”
:dubious: No, I don’t think so. If I accepted having a black colleague or a black neighbor, but rejected having a long-term intimate relationship with a person just because that person happened to be black, I’d probably characterize myself as a bigot.
No, never again. Believers I’ve dated (and married!) in the past all had messed up ideas thanks to their religious beliefs and I’m not putting myself through that again. It’s bad enough discovering your guy thinks that the man should be the “Head of the Household” and the ultimate arbitor of all major decisions that affect you both, even worse when it’s because his imaginary friend in the sky is apparently endorsing that viewpoint.
What if I reject having a long-term intimate relationship with a person just because that person happened to be a bigot? Does that characterize me as a bigot? What if I don’t find Asians attractive? Am I a bigot for not wanting to date an Asian because I don’t find her attractive? What if a person is fatter or thinner than I prefer? Does not wanting to date someone for that reason make me a bigot? What if a person happens to be fifteen years younger than I am? Am I a bigot? What if that person is perpetually unemployed or has anger issues?
We should just fuck each other without any consideration for one another at all. It’s the only way to make sure we aren’t somehow discriminating against each other.
Snarky answer: If she’ll put out without marriage, she ain’t too religious for me… 
Serious answer: Um, surprisingly close to the snarky one, actually… Belief, in and of itself, isn’t a deal breaker; behavior based on that belief may or may not be one – as, of course, may be any other behavior of the other person, so this really isn’t religion-related. And yes, extreme and incessant preaching is a form of behavior. Whether it’s about religion, or global warming, or anti-global-warming-conspiracies, or… you get the idea.
My ex was sort of a “New Age” theist, and I found myself being too non-confrontational about it, by just never bringing up the subject. My current partner was raised Muslim, and I’m proud to say I converted him to atheism.
Well, I’m perfectly comfortable with being bigoted against bigots. Or intolerant of intolerance. If that makes me a bigot, fine with me.
What I’m not comfortable with is intolerance towards another person’s personal beliefs as long as those personal beliefs don’t manifest in intolerant behavior or enforcement of those beliefs on other people. Can’t you see that difference? Would you really suddenly lose interest in another person whom you have thought of as intelligent, considerate, with political views and moral standards compatible to yours, just because you - after some time - suddenly discover “Oh, she’s sort of religious. Well, then, the deal’s off. Major turnoff. Bye, lady!”. I would not, and I did not. If your atheism is that important to you, I’d - personally - consider that being just as religious as some of the Christian nutcases I’ve met in my life.
ETA:
This more or less sums it up for me, too
But beliefs and opinions are different; they’re things that the person has in some way decided upon themselves, unlike their skin colour. They say something about the character of a person in a way that skin colour does not. If it’s ‘what’s inside that counts’…that’s part of what’s inside.
If you’re considering a serious intimate relationship with someone, then I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable to consider the extent to which their views on the very nature of existence itself align with your own. I can respect people falling in love with someone with different beliefs, and having it as something to work around, but given the choice I’d rather avoid having a relationship in which there were important subjects that were not spoken about (or about which there was fundamental unchanging disagreement).
You don’t have to tolerate intolerance to be tolerant. Or something. I agree with you.
But why is it OK for me to want to date women that are attractive, intelligent, funny, etc, but their religious beliefs are for some unexplained reason off-limits as dating criteria?
Although I have a lot of sympathy, I don’t think I could have a long-term relationship with a mentally disabled person.
Zing!
No. I neither trust nor respect believers, and I have no interest in dating a woman whom I neither trust nor respect.
I could date a believer, as long as his beliefs didn’t infringe on my idea of a good & fun relationship. In other words, if he didn’t believe in premarital sex and had a very disapproving attitude toward drinking, that wouldn’t be a relationship I would want to enter into. When I was single, most of the guys I dated were believers and some even church/synagogue-goers, but none of them were abstainers.
Marriage is a different story for me, only because of the kids. I wouldn’t have married someone who insisted that our children would be raised to be believers. My husband are both atheist UUs and I’m very glad that we’re on the same page regarding our children’s religious education.
My wife is some sort of believer. I don’t know what she believes or how fervently she believes it, but she does believe in a god. We have never had a single discussion about it. Before I asked her to marry me I asked her to agree to one thing - that I would not have to do anything religious that I didn’t want to do. I was willing to get married in a Catholic church because, to me, it’s an entirely meaningless ceremony. I did ask the priest (her uncle) to “go easy on the Jesus stuff” and he did. I attended the baptisms of our children but I didn’t say any of the affirmations (you have to reject Satan and a say bunch of other gobbledygook - I’m not going to reject someone who doesn’t even exist). I will not take the kids to church. I will not help with their religious education.
It’s quite possible to get along with someone who has completely different beliefs than you do if you want to make the effort.
Lately I’ve been casually dating a woman who’s not just Christian, but very very Catholic. She can’t imagine a world without God, and she can barely wrap her head around Christian denominations that aren’t Catholic.
But she’s intrigued by my atheism. It’s a whole new world to her. The other day we scoured a bookstore because she really wants to read The God Delusion.
How foolish would it have been for me to dismiss her out-of-hand because she was born in a religious household?
I’m married to an atheist so it doesn’t apply to me. But my late brother was married to a devout Catholic and she insisted on a church wedding and then raising the kids as Catholics (brainwashing them, IMO). But the worst part was that he ridiculed these beliefs privately to me, and she had no idea of how he really felt. For me this would be deal-breaker. The night he died, she swore she saw his guardian angel appear and told their kids that. (I do give her credit for respecting his wishes that he be cremated and for getting the rabbi who visited him in the hospital to officiate over a memorial service, which no one of her relatives came to.)
My wife, although a total non-believer, likes some of the rituals. She has been lighting Chanukah candles all week, saying the prayers. I can live with that.