One thing to consider (and I apologize if this has been brought up before) is that people and their beliefs change over the course of a relationship.
When I married my wife, she was a barely-practicing Buddhist, and I was an extremely devout Baha’i. 10 years later, I have become a full-blown atheist while she has grown far closer to her religious roots. It’s good conversational fodder, in my experience.
Would anyone here seriously consider leaving their spouses over a religious change? I’m not talking joining some cult here, just a change in their belief system.
Hmmmm, I don’t know. It depends. If he decided to start going to church every Sunday or wanted to build a Hindu shrine in our house - nah. If he decided the family had to become missionaries in South America? Or if he started telling me all the time that I’m going to hell? Yeah, that would put a strain on the marriage.
I have a relative who went off the religious deep end and it was a major contributor to the demise of his marriage. She stuck it out through the drug abuse, chronic unemployment, and financial strain. The extreme religiosity was the final straw and it has caused his children to start avoiding him. He has started berating his mother (who is an active member of her church) because she isn’t the same brand of Christianity he his and is therefore heading directly to the fires of hell. Frankly, I think it’s just his latest addiction. If my husband started acting like that, yeah, I’d probably get the hell out of Dodge.
ETA: his church isn’t a cult or anything, it’s a Protestant Evangelical church of the prosperity theology variety.
Definitely. I know of 2 couples I met through UU churches, which broke up after one of the (previously notheistic) partners became a believer.
I would be seriously concerned if my extremely intelligent and rational wife were to suddenly become irrational about something as significant as the supernatural - whether she started believing in a god, seeing a fortune teller or astrologer, or whatever.
A very quick google turned up numerous definitions quite consistent with my understanding and intended use of the word.
*-In philosophy, rationality and reason are the key methods used to analyze the data gathered through systematically gathered observations. …
-In philosophy, rationality is originally the exercise of reason, the way humans come to conclusions when considering things most consciously. However, the term “rationality” tends to be used in the specialized discussions of economics, sociology, psychology and political science.*
I was not using the word in any “specialized discussion…”
I don’t believe and am becoming quite interested in an ordained pastor. He knows where I stand, both in my own views and in my absolute lack of patience with attempts to convert me, and shares my interest anyway.
He disagrees with of lot of things he sees within his church and so isn’t currently a part of that. I admire his ability to step away from what he sees as bullshit behavior (I’m fuzzy on the details; we don’t talk about God or the church, but I think it’s mostly the intolerant, controlling behavior seen in a lot of Christians) while maintaining his faith. I like it because it strikes me as rational and independent-thinking and so the fact that he’s OMG, A PASTOR!!!111 doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
I have my doubts it will work long term for completely unrelated reasons, but date him? Sure.
I think I’d have trouble dating anyone who thought (even if they didn’t bring it up all that much) that I would burn in hell for all eternity.
Y’know, just doesn’t seem like such a good starting point for a relationship…
Someone who doesn’t take it seriously, but has a vague left over religion from their upbringing, well, not much of an issue for me, so long as they don’t try and convert or baptise me/my future hypothetical kids.