The toilet murdering trifecta (aka my three other roomates) have struck with extreme prejudice yesterday on the toilet that is our sole waste recepticle.
I do not know who Crapper Zero was in this situation, but suffice to say after coming home from a pleasant weekend with a friend, I find our toilet clogged. No problem, I think- I’ve clogged the toilet before myself, and never had a problem fixing it. However, after ten minutes of giving that toilet the beating of a lifetime with the plunger, it is pretty clear the clog is not going anywhere. Nobody is home at the time (including my landlord) and it is fairly late, so I put a post-it note on the toilet mentioning it is ‘out of order’. I figure I will attempt to unclog it again later (sometimes a clogged toilet isn’t 100% clogged; the water level goes down slowly and when it is low a combination of flushing and plunging can offer enough oomph to clear the clog).
A few hours later I come back in the bathroom for attempt number 2, pull up the lid and am presented with a lovecraftian horror that looks somewhat like a toilet bowl full of beef stew. Obviously someone in my house disregarded the note, and proceeded to shit into the clogged toilet. I close it, spritz the area with a little air freshener and drop a note in the landlord’s mailbox explaining that we need to get a plumber ASAP because our toilet is clogged. I also see one of my roomates and mention to her (all 3 are middle-aged women btw) that the toilet was out of order and I left a note. She sheepishly confesses that she didn’t notice the note until AFTER she was done using the facilities :smack:
The next day I go into the bathroom to take a shower and am alerted to an unpleasant smell. I look over and there is a shit stained towel (not mine, thank god) soaking in the sink. On the counter is a note-
“Incubus: Sorry, I didn’t realize the toilet was broken, and when I flushed it the thing overflowed and made a mess. I cleaned it up as best I could. PS- youre a big strong guy, do you think you could try unclogging it? the landlord hasn’t gotten aroudn to calling a plumber yet. Roomate #3” :mad:
TLDR Verstion: Roomate 1 clogged toilet, didn’t do anything about it. I repeatedly tried to unclog it with no sucess. In the meantime Roomate 2 and 3 each sucessively shat (and FLUSHED) clogged toilet totally ignorant of the fact that it was clogged.
One by one drag the three roomies into the bathroom, grab them by the neck and stuff their faces into the fetid, overflowing bowl while saying “No! Bad Roomie, NO!”.
Oh, I so sympathize. My sister’s superpower is apparently to randomly clog toilets. And, even when we’re at out parent’s house, I’m the one she comes to to unclog it, because apparently it’s less embarrassing to ask your little sister than your dad (and she can’t do it herself.) And then there’s the time she used one of my plastic glasses to bail a flooding toilet. One of my plastic glasses that are MY blue and that I only had four of. And that I’ll never be able to find again. And of course she didn’t wash it, just tossed it. GRRRR.
We have the same problem. My wife frequently plugs the toilet ,the leaves it. I think we have 3 inch pipes and she has a 4 inch asshole. It is plugged once a week. I never plug it. Only her. But she will not plunge it ever.
3 inch pipes and she has a 4 inch asshole. It is plugged once a week. I never plug it. QUOTE]
I’ve certainly learned quite a bit about women this past couple of days!
It is now Day 2 of Toilet Seige- its still clogged. Landlord isn’t here (of course) and one roomate mentioned she also went to him about it and he’d get on it ‘as soon as he could’. Surprisingly, while the toilet is still clogged, the vile shitwater presence is absent, replaced by clear water and suds; the roomate that is here has no idea how this happened. I’m guessing one of the other roomates bailed out the water in the toilet (urgh! :o ) since it was nasty. After the conversation with the roomate I gave it another go for about ten minutes, to no avail.
I am going to have some killer biceps/triceps before this is over with
Oh, and (more TMI) if anyone is wondering how I deal with not having a functioning toilet, the first time I had to go pee I just went in the backyard behind some bushes, but given that it is cold (for California, anyway) and raining at the time, I thought, “this is stupid.”
So i just piss in the shower with the shower running. I figure its pretty much a urinal anyway.
That’s absolutely how I deal with it, seeing as I pee in the shower every morning anyway. And, at this point I would call a plumber and deduct it from your rent–your landlord is leaving you in an unlivable state.
Oh, pitiful weakling.:rolleyes: You are no match for "POO MAN! Bow down at the porcelin alter before your master!!!
Weak Human!!!
Do not think to bother the master with trivial tasks such as cleaning the toilet!!!
Be grateful “POO MAN” desires to leave his droppings in the recepticle!!! Any further problems from you and “HE” will leave them in your sleeping area!!
I’ve certainly learned quite a bit about women this past couple of days!
