Attention numbskulls! Get edumakated right here, y'all.

The BBQ Pit
1

…or, “A Brief Primer For The Terminally Dumb”.

Read and learn. In no particular order.

1. Lee Harvey Oswald shot JFK. He did it alone, and he did it from the Texas Scoolbook Depository. There was no conspiracy. Sorry.

2. The European single currency is called the euro. Not the “eurodollar”. That’s something else.

3. Ducks’ quacks do echo. I have heard them with my own shell-like ears.

4. It’s “minuscule”.

5. Oh, and “definitely”.

6. Yes, men really did walk on the moon. Get over it.

7. “Loser” has only one “o”, and is a noun. “Looser” has two and is a comparative adjective.

8. Coca-Cola will not dissolve a steak overnight.

9. Saddam Hussein was not behind 9/11.

10. Nor were the Republicans.

11. The word “golf” does not derive from any cute acronym, such as “Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden”.

12. Nor does “posh”.

13. Nor do any of your other favourite four-letter words (except maybe “Nasa”, as in “the Nasa conspiracists”).

14. Bill Gates will not give you $1,000 if you forward an e-mail to three dozen of your closest friends.

That is all for now. Feel free to add more.

2

The Holocaust really happened.

3

Sigh. It’s catching.

4

… with the candle stick.

5

I had always assumed it was a military conspiracy designed to get us involved in Vietnam, initiated by Colonel Mustard.

6

Hey numbskull ;), it’s “NASA”, not “Nasa”, because the name is an acronym. :smack:

VunderBob, current NASA employee

7

I was wondering whether anyone would pick me up on this. I would refer you to the style guide of The Times of London, which states:

Hence Nasa.

Don’t get pernickety (or persnickety, for you USAnians) with a subeditor, boy :wink:

8

…and its New-Klee-Er

Not NUKE-You-Ler - Ya Asshats!

9

Your Nigerian friends will be of no help to you.

10

Oh yes:

15. You see Love Actually? London is not like that, and neither are Londoners.

11

And I suppose the Times of London Style Guide dictates you write it as ‘theatre’, too. Just because the language originated on that gawdforsaken rock you call an island doesn’t mean y’all have a lock on what is good style and grammar.:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

VunderBob, one of the 5 engineers in the world who can actually write.

12

It twern’t no vast, right wing conspiracy neither.

13

Your pants aren’t khakis, they’re chinos. Khaki is a color.

Incidentally, in the OP, numbers 2-14 are facts. Number 1 is an opinion.

14

So is #10 :smiley:

15

Unless you happen to be wearing a military uniform of that color.

16

Perhaps one day we will meet the other three.

17
  1. No joke threads in the pit!

(Tho’ in fact I never understood why):confused:

18

No Microsoft OS can be made fully secure. That goes double for any OS built around Windows 95 and quadruple for any OS built around MS-DOS.

Hackers are not criminals. You are thinking of crackers.

Libertarians are not conservatives, Republicans, or the `hippies of the right’. Nor are Democrats members of the Communist party.

Bill Gates didn’t invent BASIC. Or DOS. Or Windows. Or much of anything, for that matter. His success lies in knowing what to steal and when, and being in the right place at the right time.

There are computer systems that don’t pay fealty (or much attention) to Redmond. Don’t write programs or textfiles assuming everyone is willing to put up with the brain-damages to come out of Microsoft.

Atheism isn’t a religion. It isn’t a faith or a belief system. It is a lack of faith and a cogent disbelief in the supernatural.

The same government that fudged the Bay of Pigs invasion is not capable of keeping the lid on massive conspiracies. The next time you believe the government to be competent, look at how pleasant it is to live in Southeast Asia. Or Hati. Or Nicaragua.

19

Nope, #s 1 and 10 are facts.

John Edward is a fraud.

So is James Van Praagh.

Ditto Sylvia Browne.

20

Isn’t this turning into a joke thread?

The whole thing is so confusing.