pipe down you goose stepping n00b. You’re a little fish and I’m looking for the big whale. Looks like he’s too scared top come and face me though so he’s sent all his little footsholdiers instead.
Look, just activate the av and sig profile optíons, Adolf and we can all move on and you wont even have to face me and be thunderstruck ok? I’m easy going.
Then go.
We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!
Honestly, if your idea of a life accomplishment is to be omgtehfamousz on the internet, you have lower aspirations than most six-year-olds.
I don’t know why anyone’s even bothering with this common, or garden-variety, asshole. I was enjoying the thread much more when it was full of jokes.
Somehow I’ll ignore everything else this guy’s written and try to address one thing.
FOR THE LOVE OF OG, WHY???
WHY do you want to convert us all to conform to the rest of the Internet? We like it here like this; we like it enough to pay USD$15 for the privilege of posting. According to you you’re some kind of Internet legend that we haven’t heard of and should bow down to. “Let him bring to the unwashed masses the wonders of civilization such as avatars, and sigs!”
If you’re such a Hall of Fame poster, then presumeably you’ve got a ton of other message boards that you frequent that offer you the services you desire. Why not just go back to them instead of making this one something it’s not and doesn’t want to be? Unless you’ve been kicked for displaying the same sort of arrogance you’ve shown here to be a staple of your short visit.
When come back, bring sanity.
What the fuck are you talking about, you deluded psychopath? No, never mind. You ain’t worth the fucking effort. Just go the fuck away already.
You bore me.
Why can’t we get any good trolls anymore?
It’s amusing that most of the people you call n00bs have over 1000 postcounts.
Look, bubbie. We lay it out for you nice and plain.
Nobody here cares who you are. You could be Lowtax. Meh. We don’t care what your adorably amusing little patootie does anywhere else. You get to make your name here just like everyone else did.
You don’t seem to realize that you aren’t impressing anyone, that all you’re doing is being the tiny little newbie jumping up and down saying “I’m leet! I really am! I’m so cool, and so much cooler than the rest of you!” You’re the Straight Dope equivalent of the out of work soap opera actor cutting in line at McDonald’s, sneering at the cashier, and saying “Do you even KNOW who I AM?!”
You’re famous somewhere for your pretty little bits of clipart? Yay. Go play there with the other boys and girls and leave the big kids alone. All you’re doing this morning is giving us a bit of a laugh.
Will the Beaver Cleaver get the recognition he so desperately craves?
Will he get banned and have a new cache of names to offer as a sacrifice?
Does anyone really care as much as he seems to, or are we all just having fun at his expense?
Tune in next post to find out.
Same BAT time.
Same BAT channel.
Come up with a new approach, this shtick is getting boring.
No.
Yes.
No, uh yes.
Flip-flopper!
Look it’s really really simple ok? You want my 15 dollars right? Fine. I want my av and sig up in exchange for it. Fair trade! I didn’t ask for all the Beaver-haters to come out of the woodwork and start getting hostile! I like a joke as much as the next guy. I’m sticking up for my rights and their trying to dogpile me while singing Deutschland, Deutschland uber Alles!
I must be rocking the boat pretty bad here if the mods are sending out the troops to try and crush me just for asking for common av and sig rights
I won’t back down and will emerge victorius. Fascism is a thing of the past but they just don’t know it and I’m here to do some teaching.
Wrong.
You misspelled both ignored and scorned.
Wit?
If you are infamous for your wit, why have you failed to display any, here?
People “expect” to see your stuff?
Sorry. I’m sure that the people at your brawling site are impressed by your stolen photo of Jerry Mathers with the gold lamé heading, but that site has been established for a different purpose than the Straight Dope. (Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course.) I really doubt that there are any people away from that location who care about your pitiful pleas for attention.
On a text-based board, one stands out from the crowd by demonstrating erudition, wit, a command of grammar and syntax, and a basic comprehension of the world. Silly pictures, while fun, do not make a person memorable.
OK. I have provided one polite response and one explanatory response and I have fed it once. I’ll just watch it disappear, now.
Well, we all seem to RECOGNIZE him…
Rarely have I had so much fun flaming. 
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!11
Ok, now that was funny.
You have a postcaount I can respect and relate to. Not like these other thumb twiddlers. Talk to me. Bring me some plausible reasons for wanting money for nothing.
Look it’s really simple ok? Those features are not available, so problem solved.
Start your own board and have it consist entirely of sigs and avatars and shut the fuck up.
Ok, lets talk. you have a worthy post count too. I see you took the time to reply to me but you dodged the issue at hand completely.
OK. Just one more:
The mods have not sent anyone in here. The mods on this board (as on most boards) do their own heavy lifting (although you might be too light to worry about).
I would guess you are out here trying to get a flame war on this board because you so regularly get your ass handed to you on your home site, but you’ll eventually have to pony up the bucks if you want us to spank you in the manner you so desire.