This just happened to me:
I was sitting with a few co-workers in our cafeteria when I saw our CFO walk by. I just had a meeting with him this morning that went well. I was the only one at our table who interacts with him. He looked at me, smiled, and waved. Of course I smiled and waved back.
Except…
He was smiling and waving at an unknown person sitting at a table behind me.
I hate it when I am in a public restroom and someone tries to talk with me while I’m doing my business… it’s so awkward. Do women do this regularly in the restroom I wonder? Guys seem to want to chat and chat while they are dropping a deuce or draining the lizard, but all I want to do is get out of there as fast as I can. I’m not talking about a random public restroom, but one at work.
ETA: I hate your situation as well… thinking someone is smiling or waving at me and reacting for a moment, only to realize they don’t even know I exist at that time.
There is a woman who works in my building that does this so much that I will actually avoid going into the restroom if I know she is in there. She doesn’t know my name, what company I work for, or anything else about me except that I happen to be a woman and use the appropriate restroom and that is all the reason she needs to strike up a conversation. She seems very much like the kind of person who will one day bring an automatic weapon and start shooting people so I try to be nice about it in hopes of avoiding the eventual bullet but it is very, very difficult to put off pooping for as long as she wants to talk.
Wow… just wow. A complete stranger engaging in bathroom chat. I’ve seen it at the occaisional public restroom, but to think that some people actually want to be “bathroom buddies” of some sort. It’s hillariously sad.
BTW, it’s ALWAYS a good idea to make friends with the crazy ones. I hope that in the sad event that she does decide to unload a bunch of lead on your coworkers, you are spared because you took the time to chat with her while she pooped.
Ai yi yi. I hate it when that happens. I think I would just look at the person behind me and say, “Oops,” with a smile on my face.
The worst thing to me is when someone you’re with embarrasses themselves, making you the audience of their horrifying moment. I’ve gotten real good at not noticing stuff happening right in front of me. For instance, I was talking with a co-worker who accidentally broke wind, and it was one of those no-way-in-hell-that-sound-wasn’t-a-fart. I somehow managed to not change expression and went on as if it hadn’t happened.
How about the heavy door you open that will slam shut if you let go of it? This can be at an office, restaurant, mall, etc. You open it and hold it for the person behind you, who walks through, then the next person, and the next, etc., until you become the designated door man. Then you make eye contact with the next person thinking they understand you are letting go of the door because you have something better to do than be a doorman, but they interpreted your look as “he’ll hold the door for me too”. You let go, and they momentarily look away, look at their phone, etc. and then awkwardly slam their body into the closing door and give you a look like you are worse than a child molester for ‘slamming the door on them’…This seems to happen to me all the time for some reason.
This made me laugh. 
Instead of holding the door like a doorman, go through it and prop it open behind you. Then when the next person gets to it, you let go and they take over the responsibility of holding it for the next guy. Then each person is only responsible for the person directly behind them, and it’s a nice flowing chain.
Forgetting someone’s name. You KNOW who he is. You just don’t know WHO he is. Bad enough, except invariably as you’re exchanging chat with the mystery person, someone will come up and stand there, waiting for you to introduce them to your friend…
This - or, as I do after about the 5th person has gone through and it’s getting awkward, say “this is a good promotion, but temporary” or something to the next person, make eye contact, and then do the propping thing… makes them obliged to take over!
Yeah, sorry about that. It was the corn chowder.
A few weeks ago I had to answer the phone and spend a bit of time helping a customer navigate through our website and uncover information on a piece of property. Doesn’t sound too bad, you say? Try it with really bad hiccups the whole time.
A retired coworker stopped by and I couldn’t remember his last name. I worked with him for like 9 years. It wasn’t embarrassing until I told some other cowrkers that “Brian was here.” “Brian who?” “You know, Brian in X division.”
Other than once or twice, I have never had anyone try to stop a conversation in the mens room. And those times were normally at the wash basin, not the urinal. I’m a guy, btw.