There Should Be A No-Interaction Zone Within 10 Feet of a Public Restroom

I know about the detailed rules for social behavior inside a public restroom, but I think there should be some rules for the vicinity of the door also.

When I first got to work this morning, I had to take a dump, but I wanted to get a computer run started so it would be done when I got back from the bathroom. It took a while to get the run going and by that time I really had to unload. I walked over to the bathroom and I was just about to go in the door when a guy came up to me and started talking about something or other. He went on and on and I swear I almost crapped my pants. The prairie dog was poking his head out and was about to go chasing after a tumbleweed. When I finally got into the bathroom I about blew a hole in the toilet bowl.

People, please: if someone’s heading into the can, assume he’s going due to biological necessity, and not just to read the paper or wax the dolphin.

Couldn’t you just say “I’ll catch up with you in 10 minutes” and head on in to the bathroom?

Ten minutes? I’m usually good for at least 20 or thirty. Depending on how well I’m doing at Snake on my cellphone.

What are you, a barbarian? You might as well say, “My rectum is full of feces, and I don’t think my anal sphincter is going to hold back the pressure much longer.”

Your point being?

Well, he’d probably leave you alone at that point.

You take a dump at work? Unless it’s an absolute emergency (like when you ate the leftover sushi from a week ago) I don’t ever go at work. I’d rather wait until my break and enjoy the solitude of my own can.


I won’t go at work, either, and I’d never say “Wait for 10 minutes” but I’d definitely say, “Can I talk to you after I get out of the bathroom?”

Then however long I have to take, he has to wait. Come on. This is *bathroom * stuff, the one human activity that is a necesity.

Now that just doesn’t make a lick of sense. Why go at home when you can shit at work and get paid for it? Hell, I’ll save one over the weekend for that reason alone.

Yeah, there is little else that can compare to getting paid to pinch a loaf.

And the guy at the door?? “I gotta shit…NOW!” will usually send 'em packing.

You don’t take dumps at work?

How do you establish your dominance over the other males?

Well. This puts the lie to the username, eh?

Not to mention your toilet paper and water savings. I say, use your work bathroom as much as humanly possible.

Oh, and the OP - yes, it should be fairly obvious that you’re not just out for a leisurely stroll when you’re aiming for the washroom.

Another added benefit is the industrial flushing power of the commodes at work. Those things have been handle anything I’ve been able to dish out so far. And if it were to ever fail, who cares? Not my problem.

I thought this was going to be about those people who suddenly decide to socialize right outside the bathroom door so that you have to walk around them to get in the door. Yes, this seems to happen a lot. I feel like asking them if they really enjoy the aromas that waft out everytime the door opens or if they are just total clueless idiots.

Yes! Or the ones that sit inside the little lounge-type thing, or even chat in front of the stalls. Eeew.

How about the cell-phone talkers who don’t quit even to pee? Yuck.

This happened to me just a few days ago! The lady who cleans our building at work is super talkative. I generally try to avoid her, but she’ll still “catch” me at times. The other day, as I was walking into the restroom (which services only one person at a time) she dashed in with me because she was in the process of changing the toilet paper roll. So she puts in the paper, and then proceeds to stand around and chat! Meanwhile, I’m fiddling with my belt and stepping ever closer to the toilet, thinking, “Get the hell out of here!” I mean, short of pushing her away, could I have possibly sent a clearer signal???

You’d think when they saw you pushing that giant ball of dung they’d get out of your way.

Awww, they’re used to it. :slight_smile:

I actually had a co-worker who followed me into the restroom to talk. :eek: He did get it explained to him how he would never do that again. I mean, even if a lot of company policy is so much shit, that’s still not appropriate.