Aww, f$% all. What am I going to do tonight?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Yes, it’s twenty-four hours into a three-day weekend here in DC, and I’m bored.

I have plans for the rest of the weekend, some fun, some not. But tonight I left open… only to discover that most of my friends are out of town, the rest are with spouses.

Already today, I’ve walked a few miles, watched VT cream UConn, bought some CDs and listened to 'em. Bought a couple of books and don’t want to read 'em. Rented a movie I don’t feel like watching. Smoked a nice cigar. Painted and grew tired of painting. Played out Dubselector.

I’ve already perused most of the free pornography I care to see. I spent last night at a bar with friends, and I’ve quit drinking anyway. I’m not hungry. The museums here in DC are closed. I hate television. I don’t want to clean my apartment, or do laundry. I’m low on cheeba. I don’t want to work.

My clown suit is on loan, so I can’t even distribute clown literature at the airport.

Waah, waah, waah, waah, waah. Okay, now I’m tired of whining, too.

This happens almost never. I’m really good at entertaining myself most of the time, but right now I’m bored and I suspect that I want to be bored. But I also don’t want to be bored.

What do I do on a boring night in Washington, DC with no car?

2

You can help me find this damn car title that I have to locate tonight. I know it’s in this apartment…somewhere.
Meanwhile, I’ve put together a television stand, played the Sims, and knocked around online, all in an avoidance tactic. Unfortunately, I’m turning the car over to my father tomorrow so he can give it back to the guy he bought it from.

Or, if that doesn’t appeal, I’ve got a small car that needs cleaning out. You up for it?

3

As a matter of fact, I used to detail cars for a living. Would you like a product list and step by step instructions on how to clean a car interior?

4

No, I really just want the top layer of trash out. It’s not like the car’s worth much. Georgia says it’s worth all of $850 for tax purposes.

Of course, if you know what will take duct tape off a bumper well, that could be a good thing.

5

Bumpers?

Rip off the duct tape, then spray the goop with Windex. If that doesn’t work, try a more concentrated form of ammonia. Once you’re done, clean the area really well and then soak the crap out of it with Armor All or a similar substance, otherwise the rubber will dry out.

I’m thinking I might write a string of e-mails to the Mexican government about the plight of the green sea turtle, but frankly, I don’t want to do that, either.

Sigh. Let’s see how much I can stand of this film.

6

Nudity!
Go ahead and surprise the Johvah Witnesses with your own rendition of “Guess where I hid my Change!”

7

Why don’t you f$%*?