Awwww, how can I stay mad at YOU?

The BBQ Pit
21

lorinada, that’s so not cool. My parent’s would have kicked my ass to the curb if acted like that out of high school. Of course, I moved out right after high school. I don’t get parents that bend over backwards for their kids while their kids take advantage. People get away with what you let them get away with you know? Of course, I don’t have kids so feel free to totally ignore me.

And dropzone, what the hell is up with your situation? I had a live in b/f like that, and his behavior royally fucked up my credit (to which I’m still paying dearly) and landed me on the street for a month (okay fine, so I was couch surfing, but the “street” sounds so much more dramatic). I know marriage is give and take and all that, but sounds like wifey is taking some BIG advantage. Having your phone shut off is a sign of some pretty dire financial straights and the fact that she’s flitting around, not at all concerned that all of the financial weight is being put on your shoulders speaks volumes about her. Mainly, her selfishness, and the fact that she cares a hell of a lot more about herself than your marriage and your life together.

And no, I’m not married either. Probably because I don’t put up with this kind of bullshit. I dumped my last bf (with which I had marriage plans) b/c his efforts at holding a steady job where just not good enough and I didn’t feel like spending the rest of my life worried that his problem with authority was going to land us in the poor house.

Again, I don’t know you or your wife and I may be way off base here. If I am, feel free to ignore.

22

Jesus, while is everybody afraid of hurting my feelings? Kids, you know I don’t have any feelings to hurt! :wink: Fer Christ’s sake, this is the PIT! We all know where I posted it and what I can expect. :smiley:

Anyway, everybody has made valid points. I agree with just about everything Exgineer has said, even. Yeah, I’m getting hosed, but I also suspect she’s going through a period of depression, herself, and I’ve been trying to help her through it. I appreciate her cheerfulness, too–it helps a lot when I’m having a breakdown. The kids have been real helps, too.

My wife has a second interview on Thursday for a job she claims she’d really enjoy. It would probably just be enough to keep our heads above water, but that’s all I ask for out of life. My ambition, as far as I have ANY ambition, is to die broke. Not in the hole, but broke. I thought it was in sight a couple years ago, but…

And Polycarp, thanks for the vote of confidence but my skills are mostly in things nobody would pay for. Somehow I lucked into a job where I can actually use some of them and they are willing to pay above market for them, but after eighteen years of her being underemployed when she wasn’t outright UNemployed I’ve dropped some of the balls I’ve managed to keep in the air all this time.

And, yeah, juggling those balls has been a burden at times, but in the past it was worth it to have her at home when the kids got home, especially when the one developed epilepsy. But that girl is better AND thirteen so it really is time for wifey to help out with the finances. Maybe today’s event was the kick in the ass she needs.

23

Well DZ, from your OP it doesn’t sound like you even know how to get pissed. It also sounds like you have a few years invested in your SO and have progeny as well. It seems like a fine life you have going. Sometimes a little payback comes due, a rough patch in the road so to speak. Shit happens, so they say. For most folks, life is never a bowl of cherries and when it is, there are still the pits to deal with.

But oh what hell a job that you can’t stand is. And not wanting your SO to endure such an endeavor speaks volumes of the love you must have for her. I’m going to guess that you’re not close to being thrown into the street. Living check to check is the norm, not the exception. I’m sure you know that there are many others who are in much more dire straits than yourself and yours.

For most of my adult life, I have been a DINK. Especially in my early years, I wanted to make a lot of money and have a lot of fun. Even as a DINK, it was still check to check. Me and my SO’s (there have been a few) had a lot of toys and a lot of fun. Kids may have been mentioned a time or two, but the kick of buying what you want, when you want, is pretty strong and the kid thing just never got done. Actually, one SO had 3 kids and I kind of got a feel for what it might be like, but we didn’t really live together though so that really can’t count.

Long story short (I know TL/DR), I’m a SINK now, and I haven’t co-habitated for a few years. I imagine there are a few people that wish their lives were as nice as mine. I am still check to check, but I keep a couple checks ahead in the bills. I still got my toys, not as many as in the past (I lost everything in a bankruptcy 10 years ago). New car, 401k, 6 digit life insurance, a lot of things going good for me. Is it everything I could want? Probably not. How much does it cost to have someone in your life that you care so much about that you won’t force him or her into doing something that will make him or her miserable? (Wasn’t that a VISA commercial?)

I guess my point to the OP would be, people tend to spend what they got. If you ain’t got it, don’t spend it. If you need to save a few bucks a month, follow your teenager around the house and turn off the lights when they leave a room. Don’t rant until you’re almost thrown into the streets, then rant, and bring pie.
Good luck DZ, but I really don’t think you need it.

24

Thanks, byter. While I have said I agree with everybody else you have hit the nail on the head. Especially surprising since you are a permanent SINK. (Where the hell do we find the Dopers, anyway? I am always surprised at the quality of posters here.) Yeah, there have been times when I stayed at jobs I hated for years because of my duty to my family and, to be honest, it might be nice if she had a bit more tolerance for it but she’s done it, too, and I can’t blame her for never wanting to do it again. And, as a part-timer, she gets shat upon twice as much in half the hours. It’s a lifestyle I don’t envy.

And, of course, there are BILLIONS of people worse off than me. I feel bad complaining about my life because of it.

But, boy-oh-boy, were you wrong about my temper! It has nearly destroyed me and it is only because of therapy, medication, and a lot of effort people here know me as an okay guy. And, unfortunately for my wife, that has all been a fairly recent development. So it’s my turn to make it work.

25

If you’re emotionally manipulative like me dropzone, wait until the wife HAS a job, then schedule a week off from yours without telling her. On the Friday before, come home and tell her you got mad at your boss then quit.

Sure, when the truth outs she’ll be pissed. But she just might get the point, too.

26

(evil grin)

That REALLY sounds like fun! Except she’d probably break out in excema or shingles. Being a “martyr” is the safer, if less satisfying, course.

27

Friends,

There have been calls to keep the MPSIMS shit out of the Pit. My original post in this thread started out as a rant–honest. I was pitting my wife for her slowness at finding acceptable employment, myself for being insufficiently bossy, and the phone company for sending a letter that left the impression that I had until Friday to pay them the money I was saving for the utility that was crying the loudest. I had no idea when I started that it would turn into a love story, and I am sorry you Pitizens had to see that. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. And if you cannot, please take this opportunity to buttfuck yourself with a splintered two by four.

Your pal,

drop